Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
ADarkAngel
3 days ago
Lesbian Cis Female, 48
United States
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
pass, and for record I only submit to those I feel comfortable with so...
Active Ink Slinger
As mentioned in subject line of topic, I am stealing this from a Tumblr page, but I will at least try to give credit. Comes from leadhership
—————————
A question that I see often, is how can you find a kink-friendly professional. From doctors, therapists, lawyers, web designers, accountants and more I have found a resource that I want to share with you. Rather than hunting around, whispering to friends or hoping that twinkle in a lawyer’s eye was kinky and not because he won a big class action lawsuit, please give this list a try. It will help make the search much easier:
https://www.ncsfreedom.org/resources/kink-aware-professionals-directory/search-kap
I have noticed many firewalls do block this site, so if you are sitting at work or in your favorite coffee shop it may not work however it should work just fine from home.
—————————
A question that I see often, is how can you find a kink-friendly professional. From doctors, therapists, lawyers, web designers, accountants and more I have found a resource that I want to share with you. Rather than hunting around, whispering to friends or hoping that twinkle in a lawyer’s eye was kinky and not because he won a big class action lawsuit, please give this list a try. It will help make the search much easier:
https://www.ncsfreedom.org/resources/kink-aware-professionals-directory/search-kap
I have noticed many firewalls do block this site, so if you are sitting at work or in your favorite coffee shop it may not work however it should work just fine from home.
Active Ink Slinger
Dominate.
Also... Would taze any male that says they’d Dominate me.
Also... Would taze any male that says they’d Dominate me.
Active Ink Slinger
So.... why do we not receive notices when there are updates to discussions or added discussions to groups we are part of.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Pelwrath
If this is the wrong place for a few questins, my apologies. First. I've never done any BDSM. I'm asking as I do wish to have a better and correct understanding of this form and second as I'd like to use some bondage in a story and I want to get it right.
As I understand the following are required in bondage:
There is always a DOM and a sub. There never is co-equal participation sharing.
Shared trust in each other for the experience to be enjoyable by both.
Safe words/actions that both agree on and ardently adhere to.
If I'm wrong or have misunderstood what I read, again my apologies.
Now for my questions:
How would the experienced partner bring in her new love who is a vanilla?
Does/would she always be the DOM or can there be a co-equal experience?
It is my experience, which is limited to my life and those I have interacted with, that seriously commited individuals to the roles of D/s do not switch back and forth constantly. When there IS a role reversal it becomes the new dynamic for as long as both are comfortable from a mentally satifaction stand point in so much the new role they find themselves in brings out complete fulfillment for both individuals.
In my case, my wife and I started with me as the submissive. Over time though, there were signs to indicate she was not as Dominant as we both thought, and I still had lingering Dominant tendencies. Namely, there were nights she’d revel in my wearing the strap and roughly taking her. After enough times of this as well as her being a bit sloppy with things around the home, I requested a talk outside our power dynamic. We decided to go a couple weeks with our roles reversed. We haven’t gone back since and that’s been a couple years now.
Now how to get a vanilla into BDSM...
With all due respect, on the surface it sounds more like you want to merely spice up your love making with your partner. Have either of you ever shown a clear indication of
1) Giving directives the other was expected to follow while the one recieving directives seemed to get a thrill from being told they did a good job doing the task?
2) Has the person in your relationship giving out directives shown an interest in protecting and building up the one receiving directives? THIS one is what separates the wanna be Dominants from the real thing.
3) Do you understand and already practice Safe, Sane, and Consensual activities in all aspects of your relationship? Again this is another filter point, because if all three are not practiced then you are straying into abuse. Yes a bottom CAN abuse their top if they themself are not respecting the power dynamic to help things stay Safe, Sane, and Consensual.
I also sense you might prefer to be the submissive in your relationship, so here is the dynamic you MUST adhere to.
First comes the Dominants NEEDS
Next comes the sub’s NEEDS
Followed by the sub’s WANTS
And finally the Dominant’s WANTS
If your partner’s NEEDS as your Dominant do NOT include adding overt aspects of BDSM into your relationship, then leave it alone. However, there are ways to give nudges to the person you desire to become your Dominant.
Ask for permission to do activities. Do you go to game nights with your buddies? Ask. If told no you may not, follow up with asking how they would want to spend the day/evening? This actually gives your partner two opportunities to Dominate you and both play into the NEEDS/WANTS mentioned before. In the example you want to go play, but they expressed a potential need for you to stay home. However, it might be that they merely want you to stay home, and you might actually need to go out and play as it provides a stimuli that acts as a stress relief.
To wrap this up, evaluate your situation, and do not just go straight into kinky sexy play of BDSM. Learn what roles you both are willing to fulfill for the other. You can do preliminary testing of the waters as already mentioned, but be willinging to accept No as an answer if your partner doesn’t want sexual BDSM in your lives.
Active Ink Slinger
I’m getting the following when I try to got to friend list or send a message to someone...
Error - General Error
Sorry there was a problem processing your request. An email has been sent to Lush admin.
Please go back and try the request again.
Is there an ETA for this fix?
Error - General Error
Sorry there was a problem processing your request. An email has been sent to Lush admin.
Please go back and try the request again.
Is there an ETA for this fix?
Active Ink Slinger
Would it be possible ala FetLife to allow individuals to display multiple relationships?
For instance you might be a Married Domme who owns multiple girls online, but is owned yourself by someone on Lush, or by the person you are married to.
If anything it would help dears form bonds easier.
For instance you might be a Married Domme who owns multiple girls online, but is owned yourself by someone on Lush, or by the person you are married to.
If anything it would help dears form bonds easier.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by jerseylynn
Funny lil sayings a slave or sub should never say to their Dominate One..
For me..."Fine" would get my arse beat!!!
First, a well meaning Dominant would NOT immediately punish for that. They would need to determine what has lead their sub to act out in such a negative tone. Now if their sub refused to explain or talk the matter out, then they definitely should be punished up to and including "Firing" the sub. "Firing" means just that. The sub is to take their moodiness elsewhere if they refuse to communicate.
Note however, punishment will be enacted no matter what for the outburst. However a Dominant should always strive to allow the sub an opportunity to explain. The explanation might need to be done outside of their roles of Dominant and submissive, but once accomplished there should be a mending of fences, or a decision to leave one another.
"Fine" is the nuclear warhead that can easily lead to spliting apart. Neither Dominant or submissive should use the term in a negative context. Remember to also talk with each other, but more importantly, listen to each other. Listening leads to learning and improving.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Beffer
I'd never use it, but for women who would, it might be a nice option to have. Dunno how you could ever be sure you weren't letting guys in though.
Already been made months back
Active Ink Slinger
I definitely do before I even talk with them. Lack of info regardless of their supposed reason is simply lazy, which translates to how they act in chat or otherwise.
By the way... read MY profile if you want to know my opinion about your pictures on your profile.
By the way... read MY profile if you want to know my opinion about your pictures on your profile.
Active Ink Slinger
Another good sourcs of advice for this life style is https://instructor144.tumblr.com