Not having a problem opening up. Start with fingers and then move to toys. Typically a plug for a while then step up to larger toys. Largest toy now is about 1.5 inch x 8 inch dildo. Warm up last about 10-15 min before i start thrusting. That is where i have to issues. Can get a couple min of gentle average depth thrusting before i uncontrollably bear down. Anal play is part of it but I know the thrusting is part of what intrigues her.