The scenario is as follows:
You are on your first date with someone. It was mutually decided to meet at _____ for a drink. Who pays?
Alternatively:
You ask someone out on a date for drinks - is it your obligation to pick up the bill for drinks?
Tell me what you would do, or what has happened in the past and how you feel about it.
Are there rules, or have those rules changed over the generations?o
What is the consensus on Dutch - splitting the bill in half (not I drank this - so it's this amount)
Or do you ask for separate bills just for convenience sake?
* * * * *
Dating has become a bit confusing over the last 1o years, especially in my fair village of Vancouver ... so help me out! Tell me what you do/have done ... and what is acceptable.
Thanks!!
Van
Whoever asked the other person out for drinks should pay for the bill on the first date.
If you continue dating from there, I'm more in favour of one person picking up the bill one time, and the other person picking it up the next time, rather than getting separate cheques or trying to sort out going 'dutch'. It always feels kind of cheap and embarrassing trying to split a bill and/or tally how much each person owes. Even with close girlfriends, one person will buy a round one time, and the other person will buy the next round.
As far as how much a guy should be paying versus a woman... I think it's somewhat contingent on how much money a person makes, in my opinion. If you are a waitress and you're dating an executive banker, then he should pick up the bill a lot more often.
As well, if one of you has invited the person to a specific "special restaurant" or "event", then that person should pay.
Regardless of who I'm dating I will always pick up the tab for something quite early on. Even if you don't have a lot of cash, you can make him dinner, buy breakfast, or lunch, or pick up a round of drinks. I just think it's the classy thing to do.
If it is a date who ever asks the other to meet should pay....but even if a lady asks me out for drinks I still pay
I've seen some mighty tussles over picking up the tab. I know a couple who have a system. He starts to get his money out at the table, and since they are well known for picking up the tab, the other peple at the table start to argue with him and insist that this time, the others will pay. In the meantime, his wife quietly gets up, goes to the counter, and pays the tab.
If you're making the date, can't you make it clear before hand, by saying "I'd like to invite you out for a drink", or "I'd like to invite (or take) you out for dinner", or whatever?
I'm not in the dating scene, so I don't know how it happens now, but even with inviting friends to get together for lunch or something, I'll specify that I'm inviting them beforehand, if that's what I intend.
I would assume whomever asked would pay. Though I have to say I'd pay tip if we were out to dinner or I'd pay half if I knew that was going to be the only date. Mutually agreeing, I say that I would assume we were going Dutch/splitting.
If he didn't ask, and I did, I would pay since it was my decision.
Damn - I guess I'm a little late to this party but my general rules are: In my world, it doesn't matter really who invited whom. I pay, unless she has insisted beforehand that she wants to treat me. This has happened before - but unless she actually SAYS, "C'mon, Mister - I'm gonna buy you drinks and have my way with you," then I just assume I'm paying. I've even rescheduled a date or two because I had an unexpected expense come up that left me a little short that week. I never tell her WHY I need to reschedule, just that "Something really urgent has come up, but I still want to see you - how about next Thursday?"
If you're a man courting a woman you should pay every time, forget all the PC bullshit. No matter how much a woman wants to split the bill or pay because she thinks she's modern and equal (which they are) they still like being taken care of and it's just part of the human mating ritual. They guy shows he's not a loser by paying. Not until they've been seriously dating for a few months should the guy let the woman pay.
I haven't been on a date in 10 years, but unless things have changed since then, the guy always paid on a first date.
When presented with a bill, I had always offered to pay my share, but the guy always turned down my offer. And to be honest, if he had accepted my money, I would have thought something was wrong with him.
As for me. I better be the one paying for the drinks and not just as a thought of being paid back later. I'm not Joe Blow and expecting sexual pay back because of a spirit.
lets not bullshit here, the man pays...........
Hey wanna split it.......................nope.............
well, apparently Vancouver men SUCK ... and not in a good way ....
still looking .....
still looking ...........
Van
I been to Vancouver. I LIKE Vancouver. I may need a new identity soon. I'm just sayin'...
