And so now I know how to begin. The authors here are wickedly talented, I am only an amateur but am open to learning. Wish me luck.
"I usually don't meet people off line, but after several hot chats with this charming young man, he convinced me it was about time I spent a little less time on the net talking about my fantasies and little more time on my back fulfilling them."
--- Meet Me In the Park
Redhot363236
A few of my faves, since this thread's still kicking:
"The beet is the most intense of vegetables. The radish, admittedly, is more feverish, but the fire of the radish is a cold fire, the fire of discontent not of passion. Tomatoes are lusty enough, yet there runs through tomatoes an undercurrent of frivolity. Beets are deadly serious."
Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume
"It was a pleasure to burn."
Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury
"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel."
Neuromancer, William Gibson
What a great idea for a thread; my thanks to you, RumpleForeskin.
I remember the slick first line of Graham Greene's Brighton Rock: 'Hale knew, before he had been in Brighton three hours, that they meant to murder him.'
Fiona x
'I was hot and horny as hell...'
Naked and Sexual (The Fiona Thrust Series, Episode 1) Hiya,
Talking of hooks. I wonder if you could give me some feedback on two possible starts for a story? Here's the first and second drafts for comparison, and I'd like you to tell me which one would keep you more interested in reading the rest of it?
First Draft
The handle next to the shabby frosted glass in the office door twisted and the hinges quietly squealed as the door separated from its frame, a wooden frame around the door that carried the discoloured evidence of many previous entrants. As it opened, there appeared fingers around the edge of the door, desperate fingers that had accompanied their owner into this haven of supplication. This altar for the believers to pray for help in solving mysteries they themselves had no idea how to solve. The fingers pushed the door further open to reveal a short, middle aged man, dressed in the standard attire of old suit, mismatched tie, scuffed shoes, and the expression they all carried, one of defeat and despair.
“Hello, how can I help you?” said the smartly dressed young lady behind the desk.
“You can offer me a drink for a start!” scowled the man as he entered the room.
“OK,…. And then what?” the young lady smiled, while gesturing for the man to sit in the chair facing hers across the desk.
“Then I’ll tell you a story to make you sick to your stomach, three times over!” said the man as he turned the chair partly around and heavily dropped his be-suited frame onto it.
“Really? Well, I’d better get a bucket then, hadn't I? Will an ice bucket do?” she said as she closed the open folder that lay before her on the desk, and began to open a diary-like book to her right.
“Ha, a comedian, that’s all I need, a bloody comedian for a flatfoot. Brilliant!” he said as he watched her manicured fingers calmly moving the stationery around on the desk, mesmerised by her seeming indifference to his gruff, aggressive manner.
“Well not really brilliant. Genius maybe, but not brilliant by any means” she smiled again disarmingly, and with her right hand picked up an expensive looking fountain pen, ready to start taking notes.
Second Draft
“Hello, how can I help you?”
“You can offer me a drink for a start!”
“OK,…. And then what?”
“Then I’ll tell you a story to make you sick to your stomach, three times over!”
“Really? Well, I’d better get a bucket then, hadn't I? Will an ice bucket do?”
“Ha, a comedian, that’s all I need, a bloody comedian for a flatfoot. Brilliant!”
“Well not really brilliant. Genius maybe, but not brilliant by any means”
Rumble,
I can still remember a page from the New Musical Express taped on to my best friend Steve's bedroom wall. It showed two pictures, one of the Beatles, and one of the Shadows, and the text said, "The Beatles are catching up on the Shadows!". If only they knew how much and how soon?
Thank you very much for your comments. It's too easy to get lost in your own thoughts when starting a story, and it needs the cool gaze of an outside person to keep you from too much self-indulgence.
That particular starting couple of paragraphs may be used on one of several ideas I have, not for erotic stories, but for something entirely different, but I will say that as I am quite a fan of writing stories almost entirely from dialogue, I prefer my own second draft. I feel it has more impact, and piques the reader's interest into wanting to turn the page to find out what exactly is going on.
Best regards,
I always try to hook my readers in the first paragraph. Here is the opening of New Horizons.
For most people they want an uneventful life that holds very few surprises and we were no exception. There is a certain amount of security in developing a routine in your life. I think most of us become boring by choice. Our lives the past few years can be defined by our calendar. My wife and I go to the gym Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. We dine out almost every Friday, but occasionally try a new restaurant when we feel real adventuresome. Then there is the BBQ with our long time friends on the second Saturday of each month. I usually play racquetball at 6:30 am on Monday and Wednesday. Oh yeah, I forgot... we usually fuck on Sunday and Thursday. Probably because there is not much to watch on TV those nights. It occured to me recently that we had run out of new stories to tell because we had run out of new adventures. Little did I know how that was all about to change.
I think that a happy hooker should be one of two types.
1: either a manic pixie dream girl that opens up some other winning characters.....
2: Or a character that breaks the Protagonist down as seems like a troubled, contested intravert.
You can either focus on the hooker as aprotagonist and use her as a plot device to progress the story. Or you can the hooker as a plot device. It all depends what story you are trying to tell.
Hookers also make great characters, or mediums through which narratives are told.
I just watched movies called "Tangerine" and Girl lost." Both great glimpses into the world of sex workers.
I think that the main issue is motivation. The desire from something more. All hookers have dreams. The happy hooker makes the best of her situations yet dreams of something better.... The tragedy lies in when expectations are no met. I prefer tragedies, but if done right, the hooker trope can work as a sympathetic antagonist.
Bump! Excellent thread, Bill.
I'll throw in a couple.
My absolute fave:
"Listen: Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time." - Kurt Vonnegut
I love the "Listen:" part most of all, especially the colon. People tend to quote the beginning of the prologue of Slaughterhouse Five ("All this happened, more or less."), and that's a great sentence too, but I love the beginning of the actual novel even more.
Also, this is non-foction, from Richard fucking Nixon's autobiography no less, but it's such a resonant line:
"I was born in the house my father built." - Richard Nixon
I LOVE this thread. Opening lines can be amazing.
"We went to the moon to have fun, but the moon turned out to completely suck."
~Feed, MT Anderson
"Jack Torrance thought: Officious little prick."
~The Shining, Stephen King
(And may I just say, if you use the word 'officious' and 'prick' in the same thought, that character better be a writer.)
"‘Where’s Papa going with that axe?’ said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.”
~ Charlotte’s Web, E.B. White
"You better not never tell nobody but God.”
~The Color Purple, Alice Walker
"I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn’t care who knew it." -- from the opening paragraph of Raymond Chandler's "The Big Sleep."
Switching media:
Rereading this thread keeps reminding me of the movie: Throw Mama From The Train
"The night was moist." followed by the author going nuts trying to find a better adjective.
It set the tone for the rest of the story perfectly.
'To be born again,' sang Gobreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, 'first you have to die.' The Satanic Verses, Salmon Rushdie.
How you caught us! Thanks for the advice and for examples from the classic literature! They are really cool!
You managed to attract attention. I agree that quotes should not be used, especially in the title.
But is it worth it from the very beginning to reveal the main action for the reader?