Yep. I stole this one from FB.
The dumbest one I ever heard is
"She came on to me"
Like it matters who started it?
That I was his sexy goddess
That tel no isnt for an escort agency that I used after i dropped u off with ur family right after ur dad died..DIVORCED HIM PRONTO
"No, there's nothing going on, we're just friends." The day before I caught them in bed together.
''I'm not married'' almost a year in I found out he was married and his family (yes kids as well) lived a few miles away from me
Happiness will never come to those who don’t appreciate what they already have
Your dad just died you should stay here with your family ..the fucker left me and went and cheated on me.
"I didn't realise it was your credit card" (that the arsehole used in a brothel in Prague)
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Emo Philips
I'm just trying to comfort her.
Sitting at the edge of darkness
As she is telling me they are making plans,
He tells me he loves me and we will get thru this!
And i quote... "im not drunk you fucking asshole!"... yeaaaaa...
characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent
Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous
vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
It didn’t mean anything - it always means something
That if I brought other girls to him for a 3-some with us that he'd be okay with me fucking other guys.
"the Great God (snicker)" - James 'Bear' Llewellyn
That she was pregnant... had 2 girlfriends try that one.
Hmmm it’s been awhile but ummm
“Your ass isn’t that big in those jeans”??
Lmao damnnnnnnn ??
