Things My Mother Taught Me
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside...I’ve just finished cleaning in here."
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet!
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't behave, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME IRONY.
"Stop that crying or I'll give you something to cry about."
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck."
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until you clean your plate."
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER.
"It looks like a cyclone hit this room."
MY MOTHER TAUGHT BE ABOUT HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times...don't exaggerate!"
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!"
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father."
If you hurt yourself, and break your leg....Don't come running to me.
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