the worst chat-up lines ever

7 Jun 2009

Whats the worst chat-up line that youve ever used/had used on you or heard.

The worst one I’ve heard came from a friend who shall remain nameless.
The two of us were in a pub before a very important football match (for the yanks, that’s soccer), when my mate happened to spot a group of ladies sporting the opposing teams colours. Being the gents that we were we thought that we should introduce ourselves. So over we walked, and I start with:
"Hello ladies.....can we get you a drink?" that went down fine, a few saying yes.
My mate said "I see that you’re all Partick fans then"(patently obvious from the tops worn) again a few yeses, so he suddenly hits out with:
"So how would you like to get humped along with your team?"
At that point we all sort of looked at him as if he'd sprouted three heads, and after apologising to the traumatised ladies I left and went to the game.

7 Jun 2009

That's pretty bad, I often wonder what logic tells guys certain lines might work.
Had a guy tell me he had a little dick but a ten inch tongue. OH sure, I'd like to go right home with a guy like that? Not on your life.
My husband though had a great line. We met at a party thrown by mutual friends and I'm standing by myself with a wine cooler in my hand and this handsome man comes up to me and says all shy like "I"m sorry, you probably wouldn't remember, but didn't we used to be married?" I laughed so hard I dropped my drink, and being the gallant guy he was, he got me a new one and we started talking, and almost ten years later, I'm still here.

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx

7 Jun 2009

I had a guy come up to me at a nightclub once and tell me the police were waiting outside for me. When I asked him why, he said they were going to arrest me for being too goodlooking. I think he had his beer goggles on.

952-67

And a male friend of mine just last week walked up to a woman at a football match (after he'd had a few drinks) and told her she had very nice breasts. He didn't get very far with that one!

8 Jun 2009

I once had a guy come up to me in a bar, and ask me if he could place his cup on my ass...? wtf dontknow

I also had come up to me and say "I bet you can't fit my dick in your mouth" like I was going to be all like, huh hu I'll take that bet...

and plenty others I'll come back later.. evil4

8 Jun 2009

I don't if this counts but it was an episode of chappelle show. He was at a bar and said "You give me Pac-Man fever. HAMMA HAMMA HAMA-HAMA-HAMA"
Another line is from a great movie "The Ladies Man". Leon Phelps says "I'm sorry but was your did a meat thief? Cuz' it looks like ur smuggling to holiday hams in your back pockets." Another scene from that movies thats hysterical is this scene (I don't know about the subtitles.)

Forget who you thought I was, I'm The Chris J bitch!

8 Jun 2009

That was a funny movie.

Whenever I hear about pickup lines, I think of the Czech Brothers:

It reminds me of the trolls with their lines in different languages, too.

9 Jun 2009

I was chatting with hubby at lunch and we discussed pickup lines. He told me of one his friend uses that seems to work a lot because it just so....ballsy.
He'll walk up to a woman in a bar and say "D'you wanna fuck or should I apologize?" Hubby says he gets tons of women with that line!

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx

12 Jun 2009

A buddy of mine has very good luck with "Nice shoes, D'you wanna fuck?" works for him but I wouldn't suggest trying it.