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-said nobody, ever.

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heidi
Active Ink Slinger
Now I know why it is called the fast lane in the store. The woman in front of me only had two returns in her cart full of crap.
Guest
Lurker
That's way too much bacon
Guest
Lurker
My cleavage is out of control
dedeNC
Active Ink Slinger
no really, I like your toupee...you can't even tell.
heidi
Active Ink Slinger
Thank you for reminding me I' m short
honeydipped
The Bee's Knees
i really wish people would stop giving me money.

Say. Her. Name.
Unknown User
I hope there's a fat lady singing today
LaylaJune
Fancy Schmancy
Please puke in my car
ginger86
Blonde Ginger
stop trying to seduce me... and put your clothes back on
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by LaylaJune
Please puke in my car


Please, may I clean up the puke in your car?
Unknown User
Please keep wearing that dress
heidi
Active Ink Slinger
Return, without receipt, no problem
honeydipped
The Bee's Knees
is there anyway that my fries could come ice cold with my meal?

Say. Her. Name.
LaylaJune
Fancy Schmancy
Quote by honeydipped
is there anyway that my fries could come ice cold with my meal?



This was great!!



Please bag my loaf of bread beneath the canned food
Unknown User
I'd love to have a threesome with Hillary and Donald
Guest
Lurker
I really wish more parents thought that their 6yo daughter were the world's best dancers
honeydipped
The Bee's Knees
no, i don't mind you ringing my doorbell five minutes straight.

Say. Her. Name.
LaylaJune
Fancy Schmancy
Quote by MusicboxDancer
I really wish more parents thought that their 6yo daughter were the world's best dancers



This one is pretty funny, too!!


Please pee on the seat and don't wipe it off.
honeydipped
The Bee's Knees
can someone randomly text me in the middle of the night? i'm just sleeping too good these days.

Say. Her. Name.
Guest
Lurker
Please can I stay later at work
LaylaJune
Fancy Schmancy
Feel my fake tits . . . oh, wait . . . EVERYBODY with fake tits says that!
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by kiera
It was me I freely admit it, I was the one who farted.


I say that all the time. Really.


I wish teenage daughters were more moody.
Porgy87
Senior Analyst
It's all right if you can't remember my name.
honeydipped
The Bee's Knees
no, please don't open up another register.

Say. Her. Name.
adi_me33
Lady GlitterGiggles
I'm so glad I can't sleep. I hate sleep