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If you came with instructions what would it say

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Must be over 18 to look at and 21 to use
I'm not for everyone
Quote by trinket

"duct tape her mouth"

No label required for that

Do not look him directly in the eyes.
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Make sure you know how to turn it off when you turn it on.
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Quote by heidi
May explode


hahah love this, i could use it easily for myself as well
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"she will bite your head off for dishonesty, in any form."
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Quote by ThisPing4U
I'll give you a second chance, but never a third.



Except me, he gives me hundreds smile



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A little kindness can be so valuable, yet costs almost nothing

In many countries being gay is a crime, and even in modern societies, politicians try to legalise discrimination. Your voice can make a difference. Have a look at All Out to find out how.


Hey... pssst.... that's an l (as in luscious) at the end of my name, not an i
Sultan of Smut
To achieve optimal performance from your Emerson model no. 501, adhere to the following guidelines:
1. If you notice your Emerson has a hard on, give him a blowjob.
2. If your Emerson doesn't have a hard on, give him some popcorn
2a. If popcorn is unavailable, a sandwich and/or beer will suffice.
Check out my latest - a humorous collaboration with trinket and a Recommended Read
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Quote by Emerson501
To achieve optimal performance from your Emerson model no. 501, adhere to the following guidelines:
1. If you notice your Emerson has a hard on, give him a blowjob.
2. If your Emerson doesn't have a hard on, give him some popcorn
2a. If popcorn is unavailable, a sandwich and/or beer will suffice.



No no no! Everybody knows the sammich comes after the blowjob. Keep it real.
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Quote by trinket



No no no! Everybody knows the sammich comes after the blowjob. Keep it real.


I like Mexican food after sex. Gimme a burrito rather than a sandwich
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Caution. Deeper than anticipated.
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batteries not included
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Quote by vivien
batteries not included


Great film!

*danger*
Unwrapping may cause sarcasm, uncontrollable laughter or a kick arse mentality. Use with discretion.
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Quote by heidi
Enter at your own risk


Good one!

....................................................................

Caution: Complicated Machinery
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Some assembly required