1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful
eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times
before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave,
the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the
toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on
again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....
2.My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My
grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you
start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into
old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her
hair.. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious,
her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her
head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with
stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old
say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her
own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I
had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front
yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the
woods."
The little
girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I
sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you
know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo
and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he
replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's
word processor... She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it
about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't
read."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what
color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was
fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door,
saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of
these colors yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we
kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from
attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us
in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use
Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.."
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine
says I'm 4 to 6."
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
"Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep
her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you make
babies?"
"It's
simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add
'es'."
11.Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant,"
said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down
the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct
him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure,"
said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat
of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep
crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another. "He's just for good
luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close."They use
the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire
hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said,
"she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go
get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her
back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good good things,
but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as
him!
15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas
leaks and they blame their dog.
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Grandparents
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Active Ink Slinger
very sweet - thanks : )
Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
Active Ink Slinger
All good, but 3 & 13 had me 
Thanks
Thanks
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Active Ink Slinger
Those are good 
.
. 
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