Please share your favorite Dirty Limericks here:
There once was a girl from Madrass
Who had an incredible ass
Not rounded and pink as you probably think
but was grey, had long ears, and ate grass
Active Ink Slinger
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Rookie Scribe
There was Policeman from Clapham Junction
Whose penis wouldn't function
For the rest of his life - he satisfied his wife
With a bit of snot on the end of his truncheon
Whose penis wouldn't function
For the rest of his life - he satisfied his wife
With a bit of snot on the end of his truncheon
Active Ink Slinger
There was a young couple from Florida
Whose passion grew steadily torrider;
They had planned to sin
At a room in the inn
But, impatient, they screwed in the corridor.
Whose passion grew steadily torrider;
They had planned to sin
At a room in the inn
But, impatient, they screwed in the corridor.
Active Ink Slinger
A notorious whore named Miss Hearst
In the weakness of men is well versed;
Reads a sign o'er the head
Of her well rumpled bed:
'The Customer always comes first.'
In the weakness of men is well versed;
Reads a sign o'er the head
Of her well rumpled bed:
'The Customer always comes first.'
Active Ink Slinger
There once was a man from Bel Aire
who was fucking his wife on the stair
the banister broke
he doubled his stroke
and he blew his wad off in mid air
who was fucking his wife on the stair
the banister broke
he doubled his stroke
and he blew his wad off in mid air
Active Ink Slinger
There once was a man from Bel Aire
who was fucking his wife on the stair
the banister broke
he doubled his stroke
and he blew his wad off in mid air
who was fucking his wife on the stair
the banister broke
he doubled his stroke
and he blew his wad off in mid air
Rookie Scribe
There once was a girl named Dot
who lived on pig shit and snot
when she couldn't get these
she ate the green cheese
that she scraped from the sides of her twat!!
who lived on pig shit and snot
when she couldn't get these
she ate the green cheese
that she scraped from the sides of her twat!!
Rookie Scribe
George, the grave digger elite
would always have stiffs at his feet
but those that were cherry
he never would bury
instead of interring he'd eat!
would always have stiffs at his feet
but those that were cherry
he never would bury
instead of interring he'd eat!
Active Ink Slinger
There was a young man from Devizes
Who had balls of two different sizes
One was small
Barely nothing at all
The other was large and won prizes
or
A pansy who lived In Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom
Who had balls of two different sizes
One was small
Barely nothing at all
The other was large and won prizes
or
A pansy who lived In Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom
Active Ink Slinger
There once was a girl from Philly
Who didn't like any man's willy
She thought it was sick
To suck on a dick
But she loved to eat her girl, Lillie.
Who didn't like any man's willy
She thought it was sick
To suck on a dick
But she loved to eat her girl, Lillie.
Active Ink Slinger
There was a young girl from Calcutta
Who peeped through a hole in a shutter
And all she could see was a young maidens knees
And the balls of the cunt who was up her
Who peeped through a hole in a shutter
And all she could see was a young maidens knees
And the balls of the cunt who was up her
Active Ink Slinger
There was a young boy called Shaun
Who wished he'd never been born
And he wouldn't have been
If his father had seen
That the end of his condom was torn
Who wished he'd never been born
And he wouldn't have been
If his father had seen
That the end of his condom was torn
Oom Chucka Willi
From Coconut Grove
Was the meanest mother fucker
You could tell by his clothes
He lined 100 women up against the wall
Swore to the Devil that he'd fuck them all
He got to 99 and he had to stop
Cause the frictions in his bollocks were about to pop
He went to the dr the dr said
Oom Chucka Willi
Your bollocks are dead
On his grave, all written in green
Is Oom Chucka Willi
The fucking machine
From Coconut Grove
Was the meanest mother fucker
You could tell by his clothes
He lined 100 women up against the wall
Swore to the Devil that he'd fuck them all
He got to 99 and he had to stop
Cause the frictions in his bollocks were about to pop
He went to the dr the dr said
Oom Chucka Willi
Your bollocks are dead
On his grave, all written in green
Is Oom Chucka Willi
The fucking machine
The Duchess of Tart
Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx
And my latest poem, The Temptation.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx
And my latest poem, The Temptation.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx