There was a young whore from Kilkenny,
Who charged two fucks for a penny,
For half of that sum,
You could bugger her bum,
An economy practised by many
Lurker
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Dirty Limericks Come and share
Lurker
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There was a young dentist Malone
who had a girl patient alone.
But in his depravity
he filled the wrong cavity,
God, how his practice has grown!
who had a girl patient alone.
But in his depravity
he filled the wrong cavity,
God, how his practice has grown!
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There was a young lady from Marden
Who was sucking a man in the garden
Her mother said "Flo
Where does it all go?"
And Flo said(gulp) "Beg your pardon?"
Who was sucking a man in the garden
Her mother said "Flo
Where does it all go?"
And Flo said(gulp) "Beg your pardon?"
Lurker
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Rosie May is furtive and mean
You must keep her in close quarantine
Or she sneaks to the slums
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.
You must keep her in close quarantine
Or she sneaks to the slums
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.
Lurker
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There once was a man from madras
Whose balls were made of brass
In stormy weather
They clang together
And sparks fly out of his ass!
Whose balls were made of brass
In stormy weather
They clang together
And sparks fly out of his ass!
Lurker
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There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said, with a grin
as he wiped off his chin,
If my ear was a pussy, I'd fuck it!
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said, with a grin
as he wiped off his chin,
If my ear was a pussy, I'd fuck it!
Lurker
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There was a young girl of Cape Cod
Who thought babies were fashioned by God,
But wasn't the Almighty
Who hiked up her nightie -
It was the vicar the dirty old sod
Who thought babies were fashioned by God,
But wasn't the Almighty
Who hiked up her nightie -
It was the vicar the dirty old sod
Active Ink Slinger
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There was a young girl from St. Paul,
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught on fire,
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught on fire,
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.
Lurker
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There was a young woman named Alice
Used a dynamite stick as a phallus
They found her vagina in North Carolina
And part of her ass in Dallas
Used a dynamite stick as a phallus
They found her vagina in North Carolina
And part of her ass in Dallas
Lurker
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There once was a fellow McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini
Lurker
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There once was a woman named Jill
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil
Lurker
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When her daughter got married in Bicester,
Her mother remarked as she kissed her,
That fellow you've won,
He sure is such fun,
This afternoon he fucked me and your sister.
Her mother remarked as she kissed her,
That fellow you've won,
He sure is such fun,
This afternoon he fucked me and your sister.
Lurker
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There was a young model from Bude
Who appeared on the stage quite nude
A chap in the front
Said "My God what a.. "
Just like that .. right out loud .. bloody rude !!!!!
Who appeared on the stage quite nude
A chap in the front
Said "My God what a.. "
Just like that .. right out loud .. bloody rude !!!!!
Lurker
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There was a young beauty from Exeter
And men would all crane their necks at her
And those who were brave
Would take out and wave
The distinguishing parts of their sex at her
And men would all crane their necks at her
And those who were brave
Would take out and wave
The distinguishing parts of their sex at her
0 likes
There was a young lady named Hunt, . . . . . . . You know what's coming, don't you .......
Who loved to go out in a punt,
She thought the punt pole,
Was the right length, on the whole,
But the end was disappointingly blunt. . . . . . . . . . . . . You dirty minded lot.
Who loved to go out in a punt,
She thought the punt pole,
Was the right length, on the whole,
But the end was disappointingly blunt. . . . . . . . . . . . . You dirty minded lot.
Lurker
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On the bridge stood the Bishop of Buckingham
dreaming of cocks and of sucking em
and watching the stunts
of the cunts on the punts
and the tricks of the pricks who were fucking em
dreaming of cocks and of sucking em
and watching the stunts
of the cunts on the punts
and the tricks of the pricks who were fucking em
Lurker
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There once was a girl From Carolina,
Who stretched catgut across her vagina,
From the love making frock,
and a proper sized cock,
came Toccata and Fugue in D minor.
Who stretched catgut across her vagina,
From the love making frock,
and a proper sized cock,
came Toccata and Fugue in D minor.
Lurker
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There was a young girl named Louise
Whose pubic hair hung to her knees
The crabs got together
And knitted a sweater
So in winter her flaps wouldn't freeze
Whose pubic hair hung to her knees
The crabs got together
And knitted a sweater
So in winter her flaps wouldn't freeze
0 likes
A lady of impeccable taste
Wouldn't do anything unchaste
But show her the munny
For renting her cunny
And she'd grab it with unseemly haste.
Wouldn't do anything unchaste
But show her the munny
For renting her cunny
And she'd grab it with unseemly haste.
Advanced Wordsmith
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While Titian was mixing rose madder
His model reclined on a ladder.
Her position, to Titian, suggested coition;
So he ran up the ladder
And 'ad 'er
His model reclined on a ladder.
Her position, to Titian, suggested coition;
So he ran up the ladder
And 'ad 'er
Ambrose
Senior Analyst
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A transvestite streetwalker named Nick
Had a method of hiding his dick.
He'd tuck all his parts
Up the hole where he farts
And he'd fuck himself, turning a trick!
(Bumping this thread)
(Original, by me, BTW.)
Had a method of hiding his dick.
He'd tuck all his parts
Up the hole where he farts
And he'd fuck himself, turning a trick!
(Bumping this thread)
(Original, by me, BTW.)
Lurker
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There was an old man from Milan
Whose limericks never would scan
When told this was so
He said "Yes, I know"
"But I always try and get as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."
Whose limericks never would scan
When told this was so
He said "Yes, I know"
"But I always try and get as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."
Lurker
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There was a young lady from Kent
Whose nose was most awfully bent
She followed her nose
One day, I suppose ...
And no one knows which way she went!
Whose nose was most awfully bent
She followed her nose
One day, I suppose ...
And no one knows which way she went!
Mobile tourist
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there was a young man from calcutta who wanked himself off in the gutter a lady walked by getting spunk in her eye but she thought it WAS STORK SB BUTTER
Lurker
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A haughty young wench from Del Norte
Would screw only men over forty
Said she, "It's toooo quick
With a young fellow's prick
I like it to last, and be warty"
Would screw only men over forty
Said she, "It's toooo quick
With a young fellow's prick
I like it to last, and be warty"
Lurker
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A worried young man from Stamboul
Discovered red spots on his tool
Said the doctor, a cynic,
"Get out of my clinic!
Just wipe off the lipstick you fool!"
Discovered red spots on his tool
Said the doctor, a cynic,
"Get out of my clinic!
Just wipe off the lipstick you fool!"
Lurker
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A notorious whore named Ms Hearse
In the pleasing of men was well versed
Reads the sign o'er the head
Of her well rumpled bed
"The customer always comes first"
In the pleasing of men was well versed
Reads the sign o'er the head
Of her well rumpled bed
"The customer always comes first"
0 likes
A lovely Lush lady called Hayley
Posts on here, it seems, almost daily
With her dirty mind
She's one of a kind
And scatters her offerings quite gaily
Good on yer Hayley, keep 'em coming!
Posts on here, it seems, almost daily
With her dirty mind
She's one of a kind
And scatters her offerings quite gaily
Good on yer Hayley, keep 'em coming!
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by cooldaddy
A lovely Lush lady called Hayley
Posts on here, it seems, almost daily
With her dirty mind
She's one of a kind
And scatters her offerings quite gaily
Good on yer Hayley, keep 'em coming!
u r both very sweet and very handsome
[I seek input from the varsity rugby and rowing clubs]
and I cannot believe I just wrote that!!! .. and on Lush too
meanwhile .. from a fellow equestrian ..
A sperm faced, alack and forsooth
His moment of sexual truth
He'd expected to fall
On a womb's spongy wall
But was dashed to his death on a tooth
Lurker
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A lass at the foot of her class
Asked a brainier chick how to pass
She replied, "With no fuss
You can get a B-Plus
By letting the prof pat your arse"
Asked a brainier chick how to pass
She replied, "With no fuss
You can get a B-Plus
By letting the prof pat your arse"