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#MeToo on Lush

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Burquette
Bug
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Quote by kiera
Me too sad

This is also going around facebook. I haven't been brave enough to own up on there because of family members, especially my Uncle who I've recently connected with will ask me about it, and I don't like to talk about any of that, especially not with him, so I've kept quiet on there.

I was by someone who was supposed to love and protect me.




There are different stakes for different people with #MeToo. Thank you so much for sharing here.
Burquette
Bug
0 likes
Quote by TonyaL
#me too
I've talked about this in project semicolon and will share with you here. I talk about what happened to me to anyone that wants to listen because I want them to know I will listen and i will believe them.
The first time I can remember I was about 7 years old and I had no clue what was going on. I had a blind fold on and was "playing a game" what I know now is I was giving this person a blow job and in between he would put pepperoni in my mouth and tell me to bite down. I had no idea what was going on I trusted this person. This abuse went on until I was 18. When I was about 12 years old I told my mom and as he said my mom didn't believe me. This was my stepdad and I trusted him and loved him. He took my virginity when I was about 10. At that time I had to move out and live with a friend for awhile. Everyone made me feel like it was my fault. I lived with him until I joined the navy and then again when I came home.
His father started his abuse a bit different. He would play porn when I would sleep at his house. I was so young and he would play it when no-one was around. Later he would stand in Windows and jerk off while I was playing on the jungle gym in the yard coming out of the shadows when he knew i could see him. He would touch me and play with my breasts then later take me to toys r is to buy a new Barbie. If I told everyone would fight and no-one would talk to me. He died when I was 12 I was physically free from him but the emotional scars last forever.
I was an over developed teen as in when I was 10 I could pass for 21. I was one of those girls who went from training bra to a c-cup. guys would whistle, honk, stop me on the street every time I walked past. I would hate having to walk to the store for my mom because these guys would sit on their porch and watch. I stopped telling my mom things when she didn't believe me.
My first consensual sex was with a guy who only wanted to use me. After that I would look for me and ask me for a blow job when I refused he called me a slut and whore.
My husband thinks it's foreplay to grab my chest in front of people. He does it in front of my kids and friends. I don't say a word anymore. My silence doesn't mean I like it just that I've been beaten down by everyone I've ever trusted in my life. I've been to counseling as well as tried to take my own life to forget this but it doesn't go away. I don't think about it but it pops up when I least expect it. A smell, a sound, a touch I can be right back there. I hope speaking out, telling people about it let's them know don't stop telling find someone who will listen. I wish I did.


You do not deserve this. You deserve so much better.

People who would prey on a child deserve a special place in hell. You entered adulthood with a deficit and people took advantage of that. Your story is heartbreaking. Thank you so much for having the courage to share it.
principessa
Sophisticate
0 likes
#MeToo

I can't share details but can join the list.

I found out something quite distressing when I discussed it with my GP. He told me that he was shocked and heartbroken by the number of his patients who have told him that they had been abused. We have been living in a world where this has been and is going on all the time. It takes a lot of courage to share this with anyone else. It leaves scars that last a lifetime.
purpledaze808
Active Ink Slinger
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It started before I even have memories of it, and kept going until I was taken by the state and put up for adoption at age 6
NymphWriter
Unicorn Wrangler
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Quote by Belthazor
I'm fortunate enough to not say "me too," but I did see the perfect response.

#Ibelieveyou

Because too often, that's why nothing is done. That's why they get away with it. Because no one wants to believe it's happening.


You are very fortunate... and thank you for sharing the response... it does help.
Lucky_lildragonfly
Mystical Dragonfly
0 likes
#Me Too

I was working as a bus girl when it happened. I was 17 and was the only girl in the back where the kitchen was. I would be loading the dishes in the dishwasher and as I was spraying the food off the dishes it would happen. This bus boy would grab my breasts over my shirt. He would always do it and all the cooks would laugh or just lear. So one day the bus boy went behind me and grabbed my tits I had it I was so pissed that none of the men did a thing to stop him. I turned to face the bus boy and grabbed a butcher knife held it up to him and he ran out of the kitchen so fast! After that I quit who needs a job like that anyway! Sure the manager wanted to know if I was ok but I didn't peruse anything I just left the job.
trinket
Convict
0 likes
Quote by kiera
Me too sad

This is also going around facebook. I haven't been brave enough to own up on there because of family members, especially my Uncle who I've recently connected with will ask me about it, and I don't like to talk about any of that, especially not with him, so I've kept quiet on there.

I was by someone who was supposed to love and protect me.



#me too.
noll
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
0 likes
Quote by NymphWriter
In the Navy, I had a guy grab my breasts on the dance floor in front of a lot of people at the e-club and no one said or did a thing.


In general these situations can be quite hard for bystanders to interpret unless the victim makes it clear that they don't want it. And if so, is that enough or should bystanders get involved anyway? I've been the bystander more than once, and often I try to assess whether the victim is capable of handling it themselves or not (I like to think that most women can handle it themselves). If I'm not sure about it I try to ask, but in many cases I really don't know what the right response should be because as an outsider I don't know the context, like for instance what the relationship is between the people involved.


===  Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER  ===

noll
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
0 likes
I had a big scare when I was about 9. I was on a bit of a bike tour all by myself, without my parents' knowledge, feeling quite independent. I'm sure most kids do stuff like that at some point. The route I had cycled so far was the one I sometimes rode when I was meeting my father halfway on his way home from work in the next town. I was about 7.5km (4.5mi) out of town and for the way back I decided to take a different route, one that I only knew from the backseat of our family car.
When I was cycling along some woods a guy on a motocross style moped came riding next to me. He asked me if I wanted to join him on the back of his bike for a ride through the woods. The guy, the location, the fact that I shouldn't really have been there and the stories I'd heard about 'kinderlokkers' (literally: child seducers) made me feel quite uncomfortable, so I declined. And I declined again and I made up a story that my parents were expecting me home soon. Then the guy drove off, only to stop a couple of hundred meters further and hide in the bushes. At that point I freaked out, turned around and cycled back the way I came. The first kilometers as fast as I could, every now and then looking over my shoulder to see if he was following me. He wasn't.
Nothing had been pointing to anything sexual (yet). For all I know he may only have been interested in stealing my bicycle, but he was a creep trying to push me into doing something I didn't want to, at a location where I was vulnerable.

Around the same age me and a friend spend one or two nights at an uncle of his, uncle Bart. He was a very friendly uncle. He was also a attracted to boys our age. At the time that was not known to my friend's family, but looking back there were quite a few red flags. He was a sports masseur by profession and volunteered as such for a local youth soccer team. There was this boy our age that often hung out at his place (and who was also on that same soccer team). And uncle Bart used to travel to Sri Lanka once a year to work with kids there as well. Etc.
Anyway, we spend a day with him and the other kid. Had a great time, got a massage and in the evening he suggested the three of us lay under his solarium (he had a big one over his double bed). We agreed, but then he insisted we'd be completely naked. My friend had no hesitations about it, but I was very prudish as a kid. Yet, uncle Bart insisted and got me to undress anyway and join them on the bed, him being in the middle. Nothing happened, but I remember feeling very uncomfortable on that bed and was well aware that this situation was not considered normal.

Neither experience left a lasting mark on me and as an adult uncomfortable situations with pushy folks never felt threatening in any way, just inconvenient. So no #metoo for being a victim, but a #metoo for experiencing how predators hunt.


===  Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER  ===

NymphWriter
Unicorn Wrangler
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Quote by noll
In general these situations can be quite hard for bystanders to interpret unless the victim makes it clear that they don't want it. And if so, is that enough or should bystanders get involved anyway? I've been the bystander more than once, and often I try to assess whether the victim is capable of handling it themselves or not (I like to think that most women can handle it themselves). If I'm not sure about it I try to ask, but in many cases I really don't know what the right response should be because as an outsider I don't know the context, like for instance what the relationship is between the people involved.


This is exactly the problem... people assume that victim can handle the situation when the reality is, we might not. People assume that just because the victim doesn't make a scene that what the man does is all right. People assume there is a relationship between the perpetrator and the victim and that makes this action acceptable. I'm not talking a casual brushing, this guy in question grabbed both my breasts with both hands. While in the privacy of a hotel room or a bed room this might be fine, on a dance floor of a club is another story. This man was a total stranger to me, yet he choose to touch me in a sexual manner without my concent.

Of course, back then, it was rare for anyone to say anything, but still... why did this man think he had the right to touch me like that in the first place? The answer is simple, he didn't. He just assumed he could and sadly, his actions weren't condemned by anyone but myself. I chose not to make a scene, instead I just pushed him away from me and left.

Perhaps if someone had gone so far as to ask if everything was all right, it might have made a difference. If more people would just ask a simple question of, "Do you know this man/woman?" or "Did you mind his grabbing you like that?"

Maybe next time you see such an action you can at least say something or ask a simple question. Instead of being a bystander you can be an upstander. Maybe... just maybe... you'll make a difference in the life of the woman being groped.
NymphWriter
Unicorn Wrangler
0 likes
Quote by Lucky_lilDragonfly
#Me Too

I was working as a bus girl when it happened. I was 17 and was the only girl in the back where the kitchen was. I would be loading the dishes in the dishwasher and as I was spraying the food off the dishes it would happen. This bus boy would grab my breasts over my shirt. He would always do it and all the cooks would laugh or just lear. So one day the bus boy went behind me and grabbed my tits I had it I was so pissed that none of the men did a thing to stop him. I turned to face the bus boy and grabbed a butcher knife held it up to him and he ran out of the kitchen so fast! After that I quit who needs a job like that anyway! Sure the manager wanted to know if I was ok but I didn't peruse anything I just left the job.


Sadly, your story isn't unique and too often, women like yourself just "quit" (which I would have done as well had I been in this situation) instead of dong more. I'm not saying what you did was wrong... I'm saying you're not alone.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
0 likes
Quote by noll


In general these situations can be quite hard for bystanders to interpret unless the victim makes it clear that they don't want it. And if so, is that enough or should bystanders get involved anyway? I've been the bystander more than once, and often I try to assess whether the victim is capable of handling it themselves or not (I like to think that most women can handle it themselves). If I'm not sure about it I try to ask, but in many cases I really don't know what the right response should be because as an outsider I don't know the context, like for instance what the relationship is between the people involved.


Nymph already answered this, but i'm going to throw my thoughts in two. i you see a situation such as she described, remember this phrase. "are you okay?" simple as that. walk up to her, don't confront him, pretend he doesn't exist - that way he won't feel it as a confrontation as react as such - simply say. Excuse me, but are you okay? easy peasy, really.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

noll
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
0 likes
Quote by NymphWriter
This is exactly the problem... people assume that victim can handle the situation when the reality is, we might not.


I don't assume anything, but I try to assess whether she can. And if I think she can I'd rather not get involved, and be the next stranger wanting some of her attention or be the male savior for a woman who can handle the situation herself.


Quote by NymphWriter
Maybe next time you see such an action you can at least say something or ask a simple question. Instead of being a bystander you can be an upstander.


I have on quite a few occasions. And as far as I can remember in all cases the response was "it's ok" or something similar.


I'm not trying to find excuses to not do it. All I'm saying is that I find it hard to figure out when it's needed.


===  Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER  ===

NymphWriter
Unicorn Wrangler
0 likes
Quote by noll
I don't assume anything, but I try to assess whether she can. And if I think she can I'd rather not get involved, and be the next stranger wanting some of her attention or be the male savior for a woman who can handle the situation herself.


[Edited by Burquette for aggressive italics]

Quote by noll
I have on quite a few occasions. And as far as I can remember in all cases the response was "it's ok" or something similar.


I'm not trying to find excuses to not do it. All I'm saying is that I find it hard to figure out when it's needed.


When in doubt... ask. Perhaps one day the response will be different and the person or rather... the victim... will be grateful you stepped in and said something. I know I would have been in my situation. Try Sprite's suggestion... it's non-threatening and easy to do.
Lucky_lildragonfly
Mystical Dragonfly
0 likes
Quote by NymphWriter


Sadly, your story isn't unique and too often, women like yourself just "quit" (which I would have done as well had I been in this situation) instead of dong more. I'm not saying what you did was wrong... I'm saying you're not alone.

I confronted the chefs when the guy left the kitchen. I asked them why they didn't help me. They just said something to the fact "Oh he is just like that." So I knew no one would help me or stop him. That is why I left and found a good job at a grocery store.
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
0 likes
Quote by sprite


i'd like to thank MF for so well illustrating why this, and the HW, thread exist. people have commented on 'why didn't she speak up, say something, report him, etc'. it's because of attitudes like this. we're not taken seriously. we're dismissed. it's joked about. obviously, it's not funny to the person who's been the subject of harassment or assault. but yeah, at some point in time, you realize that speaking up is akin to banging your head against the wall. sure, some of what we've been talking about in here have been "minor incidents", but how many of us have put up with all the little things, day in and day out, without anyone stepping in and saying 'that's not right' or without feeling comfortable about confronting the perpetrator for whatever reason. their position of power, their physical power, the cultural power that backs them up.

we get comments daily about our asses, whistled at, leered at and we're told to lighten up if we respond negatively. that's just a step away from giving permission to be fondled or groped, which in turn, a step away from being assaulted, but yeah, just lighten up. and yeah, we've all done it. instead of confrontation, we've ducked into a crowded store so we're safe. we've stayed home so we're safe. we keep our backs to the wall so we're safe. we stay at home so we're safe. we don't go out at night so we're safe. but yeah, lighten up, girls.

yeah, make jokes. the thing is, unless it's happened to you, you have no idea how it feels. anyone whose gone through it doesn't think it's funny, and doesn't think it's something to be taken lightly. i just hope that his attitude, his presence, doesn't put people off about participating her, about speaking up, about not allowing themselves to be silenced.

xx
rachel


Rachel deleted my post because it was a good response to her ridiculous post she made trying to paint me as some villain. It is clear that she is trying to make me look bad, if that is the case why not make my words, from my own mouth/keyboard illustrate that? Why delete them? Seriously why? Why not make my own words prove her point? Because they don't. Her post is clearly an attack to make herself look like some kind of hero to the stupid or something. If I was truly being an asshole my words would not need to be deleted. Her intent is to make me look like an asshole, why delete the posts she claims make me one? Doesn't make sense does it?

What I said was, "Water is wet, the sky is blue... jazz fans are annoying", in response to a "person" (because god forbid I use a members actual name... but its obvious who) who came in here acting like a hero of this cause when in other threads he has proven to be the opposite. He has proven to be a victim blamer. It is absolutely absurd to blame me for calling that out in this thread as the cause for people being scared to post in this thread rather than a person who is actually the cause for people keeping quiet. A slut shamer, victim blamer, like, this member in question is the reason people keep quiet not me because I point it out. Actually I'm a piggy who stuffs a sock in a wolf's mouth when he tries to blow my house down yet sprite thinks it's better to pull the sock out. It's so twisted, especially in a thread meant to let people vent. He comes in here to superficially act like he's about the cause but in reality he's one of the worst people. And then this sprite protects him, what in the fuck? It's so twisted and wrong.
patokl
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
[Edited by Burquette. You have been baited. Drop the keyboard and walk away until the feeling passes]
A little kindness can be so valuable, yet costs almost nothing

In many countries being gay is a crime, and even in modern societies, politicians try to legalise discrimination. Your voice can make a difference. Have a look at All Out to find out how.

Hey... pssst.... that's an l (as in luscious) at the end of my name, not an i
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
0 likes
[Edited by Burquette to say:

You drive me nuts Patokl but I love you, man. I mean it you little bugger. My life wouldn't be the same without you.]
patokl
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Edited by Burquette because there were quotes within quotes and other complicated stuff like time stamps. And this is a #MeToo thread, not a "Let me prove my point at the expense of the thread" thread.
A little kindness can be so valuable, yet costs almost nothing

In many countries being gay is a crime, and even in modern societies, politicians try to legalise discrimination. Your voice can make a difference. Have a look at All Out to find out how.

Hey... pssst.... that's an l (as in luscious) at the end of my name, not an i
Liz
Scarlet Seductress
0 likes
Some of you put waaay too much faith in Burquette's cool, calm exterior. She will fuck you up if you keep stinking up her #MeToo thread, even in the Spa. Seriously, I've seen her do it. She keeps a shovel and a bag of lye in her trunk.

Can't say you haven't been warned...
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
0 likes
Edited by Burquette because there were mean things said, and swearing. And this is a #MeToo thread, not a "Let me prove my point at the expense of the thread" thread.
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
0 likes
Quote by Liz
Some of you put waaay too much faith in Burquette's cool, calm exterior. She will fuck you up if you keep stinking up her #MeToo thread, even in the Spa. Seriously, I've seen her do it. She keeps a shovel and a bag of lye in her trunk.

Can't say you haven't been warned...


She can do her worst.
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
0 likes
Quote by patokl


Edit: Generalised may not be the way Americans spell it, but in the country where the English language comes from, they do spell it that way.


Yeah yeah, you got me there. But that's it. Everything else, you're wrong.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by sprite


i'd like to thank MF for so well illustrating why this, and the HW, thread exist. people have commented on 'why didn't she speak up, say something, report him, etc'. it's because of attitudes like this. we're not taken seriously. we're dismissed. it's joked about. obviously, it's not funny to the person who's been the subject of harassment or assault. but yeah, at some point in time, you realize that speaking up is akin to banging your head against the wall. sure, some of what we've been talking about in here have been "minor incidents", but how many of us have put up with all the little things, day in and day out, without anyone stepping in and saying 'that's not right' or without feeling comfortable about confronting the perpetrator for whatever reason. their position of power, their physical power, the cultural power that backs them up.

we get comments daily about our asses, whistled at, leered at and we're told to lighten up if we respond negatively. that's just a step away from giving permission to be fondled or groped, which in turn, a step away from being assaulted, but yeah, just lighten up. and yeah, we've all done it. instead of confrontation, we've ducked into a crowded store so we're safe. we've stayed home so we're safe. we keep our backs to the wall so we're safe. we stay at home so we're safe. we don't go out at night so we're safe. but yeah, lighten up, girls.

yeah, make jokes. the thing is, unless it's happened to you, you have no idea how it feels. anyone whose gone through it doesn't think it's funny, and doesn't think it's something to be taken lightly. i just hope that his attitude, his presence, doesn't put people off about participating her, about speaking up, about not allowing themselves to be silenced.

xx
rachel


Thank you Rachel x
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
0 likes
[Deleted by Burquette because I like spankings. Extra hard.]

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Burquette
Bug
0 likes
Enough with this.

A little respect please. Nobody should be eating popcorn while reading this thread.

P.S. If you dislike how I edited this, please contact me OFF THREAD.