I have a 20 year old daughter who works alongside a 39 year old man, they are friends and now he wants to be her boyfriend. My wife says as long as he treats her well, she will be ok with it, and although i agree to some extent, the dad inside me wants to kick his head in.
I know this is wrong but can´t help the way i feel, i would like to hear other opinions on the matter, especially if you have experienced this at close hand.
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young women with older men?
I understand where you are coming from, but at the end of the day it is your daughter’s decision and standing in the way may end up with her despising you if you stepped in.
Remember, age is just a number. If two people are compatible the relationship can flourish and if they are not the relationship is problematic.
Some relationships exist for a finite period of time, others seem to transcend the passage of time. Age difference does not automatically doom the couple.
Relationships are hard. If they have great chemistry, then an age difference like this probably doesn't matter.
Remember, age is just a number. If two people are compatible the relationship can flourish and if they are not the relationship is problematic.
Some relationships exist for a finite period of time, others seem to transcend the passage of time. Age difference does not automatically doom the couple.
Relationships are hard. If they have great chemistry, then an age difference like this probably doesn't matter.
The Right Rev of Lush
Could be worse. Strom Thurmond (US Senator) was 66 when he married his second wife, a 22-year-old former Miss America contestant. They had four kids.
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This is a topic that's hitting me very close to home. lol.
Sometimes... it's very difficult to understand how, but it's possible for relationships with great age differences to be so much more closer and better than a "typical relationship". For some reason, everyone I've wanted a relationship to flourish with had a minimum age difference of 13... it may seem weird but things happen.. and I say, if we've been able to put our age differences aside... isn't it possible for you as well?
Plus, I'm very certain he'll treat her very well.
Good luck to all of you.
Sometimes... it's very difficult to understand how, but it's possible for relationships with great age differences to be so much more closer and better than a "typical relationship". For some reason, everyone I've wanted a relationship to flourish with had a minimum age difference of 13... it may seem weird but things happen.. and I say, if we've been able to put our age differences aside... isn't it possible for you as well?
Plus, I'm very certain he'll treat her very well.
Good luck to all of you.
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I really don’t know how I would feel if my daughter was dating someone 19 years older… I would hope he treated her very well…. if not I’d have to call the godfather to make him an offer he couldn’t refuse…
Algol
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if he is good to her and treats her well. you might want to give it some time. when we tell our kids NO WAY... they do it out of spite..... go with it and see what happens
Artistic Tart
older men? fuck ya! More experience, knows what to do, don't act like a kid. What's not to like?
I went out with a man 18 years older then myself and saw nothing wrong with it, nor did my Mother. I actually found it probably the best relationship I have ever had.
I loved the fact that his party days and juvenile antics were over and done with. He had already settled down, had a nice apartment, nice job and was now enjoying the finer things in life. So instead of going out to night clubs, we would go out to restaurants, movies or just stayed home and enjoyed each others company.
But, then again, I would not feel right if my Father went out with a woman 18 years younger then himself. It's weird how the mind works!
I loved the fact that his party days and juvenile antics were over and done with. He had already settled down, had a nice apartment, nice job and was now enjoying the finer things in life. So instead of going out to night clubs, we would go out to restaurants, movies or just stayed home and enjoyed each others company.
But, then again, I would not feel right if my Father went out with a woman 18 years younger then himself. It's weird how the mind works!
Quote by SweetBitch
I went out with a man 18 years older then myself and saw nothing wrong with it, nor did my Mother. I actually found it probably the best relationship I have ever had.
I loved the fact that his party days and juvenile antics were over and done with. He had already settled down, had a nice apartment, nice job and was now enjoying the finer things in life. So instead of going out to night clubs, we would go out to restaurants, movies or just stayed home and enjoyed each others company.
But, then again, I would not feel right if my Father went out with a woman 18 years younger then himself. It's weird how the mind works!
Exactly, how would she feel if i had bought home 20 year old?
How would she feel? Probably the same as I would, but if it makes my father happy, I would bite my tongue and learn to live with it, no matter how I felt.
The only other thing I can say is that you need to let her make her own decisions. She needs to learn the lessons in life for herself, whether the are right or wrong. Any interference could do damage with you and your daughter's relationship. The horrible truth is that you are never going to be 100% happy with ALL of her decisions.
The best thing you can do as a parent is to be there for her, even if things go bad (and please no "I told you so") and help her pick up the pieces. That is, if it doesn't work out. He could possibly be the one!
I really feel for you and hope that everything works out. You never know, you could end up with a very good friend from this. I'm guessing you and him are roughly the same age?
The only other thing I can say is that you need to let her make her own decisions. She needs to learn the lessons in life for herself, whether the are right or wrong. Any interference could do damage with you and your daughter's relationship. The horrible truth is that you are never going to be 100% happy with ALL of her decisions.
The best thing you can do as a parent is to be there for her, even if things go bad (and please no "I told you so") and help her pick up the pieces. That is, if it doesn't work out. He could possibly be the one!
I really feel for you and hope that everything works out. You never know, you could end up with a very good friend from this. I'm guessing you and him are roughly the same age?
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by SweetBitch
I went out with a man 18 years older then myself and saw nothing wrong with it, nor did my Mother. I actually found it probably the best relationship I have ever had.
I loved the fact that his party days and juvenile antics were over and done with. He had already settled down, had a nice apartment, nice job and was now enjoying the finer things in life. So instead of going out to night clubs, we would go out to restaurants, movies or just stayed home and enjoyed each others company.
But, then again, I would not feel right if my Father went out with a woman 18 years younger then himself. It's weird how the mind works!
Wow, SB pretty much covered the conflicting emotions on this one.
Each to their own. My daughter is a long way from this scenario and I cannot promise I will be the level headed adult I am about to be right now, so.......
As the eldest of 5, when this happened with one of my sisters, I called the guy for a beer and had a chat with him to basically get some background on him and get a feel as to how my instincts felt about the guy. Two grown men having a chat about a woman they both care about, albeit from differing perspectives, worked well in my case. I was able to find out the why and the how the guy was on the market, and it was made abundantly clear how much I cared for my sister and how 'protective' I was.
Probably the best part of the conversation was when I welcomed him to the family and told him that he would get the same support as any other member of our clan - specifically, hurt one of us and WE ALL band together to take care of any offending interloper. Made him think without realising he had been threatened!!
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Quote by ej69
I have a 20 year old daughter who works alongside a 39 year old man, they are friends and now he wants to be her boyfriend. My wife says as long as he treats her well, she will be ok with it, and although i agree to some extent, the dad inside me wants to kick his head in.
I know this is wrong but can´t help the way i feel, i would like to hear other opinions on the matter, especially if you have experienced this at close hand.
She is 20 so old enought to make her own decisions about a relationship.However,real life says the age gap is too much and after a little time it will not suit her-so she learns something.Your best reaction is to support,respond to her needs,dont criticise ,condemn or raise obstacles.She will love you forbeing a father not a critic.
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Quote by LadyX
older men? fuck ya! More experience, knows what to do, don't act like a kid. What's not to like?
I guess that's why when I was young I went out with older women... yes sometimes 20 years older ... Oh Yeah!!!
Algol
well, the reverse happens personally with me ... I have seen men that have been 21 years my junior. Definitely one guy's mom was a bit appalled with me - but then again, it didn't last too long after he started to stalk me! (She was 13 years older than me.)
I think though, age is really irrelevant - as long as everyone is of the age of majority, of sound mind and treats each other with respect (without the younger tantrums or the older "giving advice").
Good luck with wrestling with your personal opinion EJ69 - but you may be pleasantly surprised with how things work out!
Van
x
I think though, age is really irrelevant - as long as everyone is of the age of majority, of sound mind and treats each other with respect (without the younger tantrums or the older "giving advice").
Good luck with wrestling with your personal opinion EJ69 - but you may be pleasantly surprised with how things work out!
Van
x
Quote by ej69
I have a 20 year old daughter who works alongside a 39 year old man, they are friends and now he wants to be her boyfriend. My wife says as long as he treats her well, she will be ok with it, and although i agree to some extent, the dad inside me wants to kick his head in.
I know this is wrong but can´t help the way i feel, i would like to hear other opinions on the matter, especially if you have experienced this at close hand.
Despite the fact that my hubby is 18 years my senior, he would say the same thing as you if our daughter came home with an older man. I guess it's a dad thing.
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