At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, motorsport, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can to give them a bigger laugh
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The Guy Rules
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Active Ink Slinger
Speak the truth of men - that would be the person who posted it.
Way to go Chef
But remember, she has an X-Marine sweetie.
Way to go Chef
But remember, she has an X-Marine sweetie.
Active Ink Slinger
I totally agree with all those. My wife drives me nuts whining about the toilet seat, and I have actually replied to her in those exact words 
Oh, and best not go there with the whole fat questions, that's a lose lose scenario!
Oh, and best not go there with the whole fat questions, that's a lose lose scenario! I never bugged my hubs about the seat being up or down. So one night about 3a.m. I had to pee in the worse way. You know how you get up and don't even open your eyes, hands out in front of you. I walked into the bathroom, turned around and sat down. Right into the bowl and COLD water!! Y'all think a cat sounds loud and bad when it gets a bath? Try a hot headed Irish woman at 3 a.m.! I'm yelling for him to help me tho, not mad at him, I just couldn't get out on my own!! He flicks on the light and stands there for a minute laughing his ass off. He did manage to get me out and dried off and back into bed where I could warm up. But I swear that bed didn't stop shaking for an hour from his laughter. I never said a word about the seat but, it's not been up one time since then.
But, I am making a bootie call over there in a few weeks!! 
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Dam, I can stop laughing.M6LqHwFHVPn8oLcW 
he didn't dry it off and warm it up?
I knew I liked him.
he didn't dry it off and warm it up?I knew I liked him.
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Fantastic they ought to read allowed at each wedding ceremony
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I once asked my mother why she never got upset about the toilet seat being left up. She told me that my father had grown up in a house with seven men and one woman so he never learned to put the toilet seat down and the fact that there were four brothers and one sister in our family ment that it was much easier for her to remember to check the toilet seat herself than to try dragging that particular ox cart across China five times.
Now I always leave the toilet seat down. I have two dogs and three cats in the house. Both of the dogs are confirmed poop eaters (my nephew wants to make a scarlet 'P' to hang on their colors). It is the only way I can think to keep those animals from drinking the toilet water.
Now I always leave the toilet seat down. I have two dogs and three cats in the house. Both of the dogs are confirmed poop eaters (my nephew wants to make a scarlet 'P' to hang on their colors). It is the only way I can think to keep those animals from drinking the toilet water.
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I need these rules on a poster for my wall, nicely framed.
Rookie Scribe
"You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both." Perfectly stated. I used this one recently to much success. 
Princess Popsicle
Quote by chefkathleen
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
Definitely my two favourites! I shall bear this in mind hah.
If you like first time, bisexual or teen then please read this and help make it famous!
My First Time With a Girl
My First Time With a Girl
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lmao thank you for the laugh
PS hope the sofa wasn't too uncomfortable lol
PS hope the sofa wasn't too uncomfortable lol
Weaver of Words
Quote by chefkathleen
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
I do have something to say about this particular "rule". Men need it up for only half of what they do. they need it down for the other half, where women need it down ALL the time. So that means 75% of the time, it needs to be DOWN, not up! Isn't there something about majority rules? Plus have you ever taken a black light to a dark bathroom where the seat is left up every time it is flushed. Once you do, you will not only put the seat down, but the lid as well. Try it if you don't believe me!
Rookie Scribe
Quote by chefkathleen
I never bugged my hubs about the seat being up or down. So one night about 3a.m. I had to pee in the worse way. You know how you get up and don't even open your eyes, hands out in front of you. I walked into the bathroom, turned around and sat down. Right into the bowl and COLD water!! Y'all think a cat sounds loud and bad when it gets a bath? Try a hot headed Irish woman at 3 a.m.! I'm yelling for him to help me tho, not mad at him, I just couldn't get out on my own!! He flicks on the light and stands there for a minute laughing his ass off. He did manage to get me out and dried off and back into bed where I could warm up. But I swear that bed didn't stop shaking for an hour from his laughter. I never said a word about the seat but, it's not been up one time since then.
I had a similar 3am, that water is cold and quite a shock, especially when half asleep. I don't scream often, but that got a loud one outta me.
As for the rest of those.... if he has more shoes and more clothes than I do... I should be the one leaving the seat up then, right?
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Quote by adele
I do have something to say about this particular "rule". Men need it up for only half of what they do. they need it down for the other half, where women need it down ALL the time. So that means 75% of the time, it needs to be DOWN, not up! Isn't there something about majority rules? Plus have you ever taken a black light to a dark bathroom where the seat is left up every time it is flushed. Once you do, you will not only put the seat down, but the lid as well. Try it if you don't believe me!
Lol. My #1 to #2 ratio isn't 50/50. Maybe 80/20 or 90/10.
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
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If we say we gonna do something, we will do it. There is no need to remind us every six months.
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A pumpkin is a fruit? Damn, I am still confused about the tomato.
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bravo,bravo,bravo,i will give it to my wife yes .I will be on the couch ,but it has a pull out that is pretty comfortable .
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Congrats ChefKat
This is a man's bible for women. The arguments that we could eliminate, also very funny.
It's always hard but very productive to step into someone also shoes.
This is a man's bible for women. The arguments that we could eliminate, also very funny.
It's always hard but very productive to step into someone also shoes.
Choose n Practice Happiness
Life is simple; we are what we eat and what we read. Talk is superfluous.
Life is simple; we are what we eat and what we read. Talk is superfluous.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by adele
I do have something...... Plus have you ever taken a black light to a dark bathroom where the seat is left up every time it is flushed. Once you do, you will not only put the seat down, but the lid as well. Try it if you don't believe me!
Also for the above reason, I must say that years ago with two little girls in the house I started to never lift the seat up because I sit even for number one.
Another must do practice is be to put the lids down before flushing. if you don't.. It's a fact that is allover the bathroom even on your toothbrush. No joke.
Choose n Practice Happiness
Life is simple; we are what we eat and what we read. Talk is superfluous.
Life is simple; we are what we eat and what we read. Talk is superfluous.