If anyone's had the chance to catch a Mr. Micah Armstrong (originally of the Assembly of God Church in Miami but left because they were hypocrites) on their campus, then I'm sure you've come to one conclusion.......apparently you're going to hell.
Reasons include:
Pot Smoking
Cigarette Smoking
Alcohol Drinking
Guitar Playing
Having a Tattoo
Showing Cleavage
Showing Bellybuttons
Girls Showing Their Knees
Girls Showing Their Elbows
Girls Wearing Tight Pants
Girls Wearing Miniskirts
Being Blonde
Being Fat
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Groping Breast before Marriage
Having Premarital Sex
Masturbation
Having Anal Sex
Having Oral Sex
Being Homosexual
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest)
Being Selfish
Playing Sports
Women Working
Watching BET
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll
Believing in Evolution
Being Catholic
Being Jewish
Being Buddhist
Being Methodist
Being Protestant
Being Mormon
Being Muslim
Being Hindu
Being Agnostic
Being Atheist
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin)
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future
Don't Worry. Hell is Going to be a Party. Based on Micah’s prediction Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis, Tupac, Biggie Smalls, and Martin Luther King are already there.
The only one not there will be Micah.
Right there. Oh yeah baby. Right there.
oooooo well ya know i will be right there beside ya babe!!!!
"Haters make me FAMOUS!!!"
Sassy
LMFAO damn be one hell of a party I knew I was going to hell a long time ago.
Well shit....I'm fucked....
I like the heat though.
oooh .... can I join you all?? (I hate been left out!)
Van
xo
Pot Smoking
Cigarette Smoking
Alcohol Drinking
Guitar Playing
Having a Tattoo
Showing Cleavage
Showing Bellybuttons
Girls Showing Their Knees
Girls Showing Their Elbows
Girls Wearing Tight Pants
Girls Wearing Miniskirts
Being Blonde
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Groping Breast before Marriage
Having Premarital Sex
Masturbation
Having Anal Sex
Having Oral Sex
Women Working
Watching BET
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll
Believing in Evolution
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin)
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future
After doing THESE things, I'm DEFINITELY going to hell LMAO!!!
After looking at the list, and deciding I was void of any of these transgressions (As everyone knows I am the vestal virgin of lush) I remebered that even though I am angelic as can be, that as a Marine I am doomed to Hell anyway, as Marines never die, they just go to hell and regroup!!!
So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family. George Carlin
Now that being said, this joke will surely put me in the pilots seat in Hell. Look at someone and say what is this (now act as though you are biting your wrists) when they say I don't know, tell them it is Jesus biting his nails!!! HAHA!!!
So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family. George Carlin
Whew!....I'm safe!....Coveting another man's wife is not on the list. If it were, I'd be doomed for sure! Oh, wait a minute....
Pot Smoking
Cigarette Smoking
Alcohol Drinking
Guitar Playing
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Groping Breast before Marriage
Having Premarital Sex
Masturbation
Having Anal Sex
Having Oral Sex
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest)
Being Selfish
Playing Sports
Watching BET
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll
Believing in Evolution
Being Catholic
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future
Well, after all that....I'm wondering if they will let me drive the bus.
Interesting.......playing God and deciding who is going to hell and for what indiscretion is not on the list.
As the hilarious Jim Jeffries pointed out we go to hell if we don't do as the big guy wants us. But the devil hates god so why would the devil punish us for pissing off god. The devils got a party planned and we're all invited!
i already have my bus ticket..LOL!
Alcohol Drinking
Guitar Playing
Having a Tattoo
Showing Cleavage
Girls Showing Their Knees
Girls Showing Their Elbows
Girls Wearing Tight Pants
Being Blonde
Being Fat
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Masturbation
Being Homosexual
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest)
Being Selfish
Playing Sports
Women Working
Watching BET
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll
Believing in Evolution
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin)
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future
........................ I'm fucked. lol
Guitar Playing
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Groping Breast before Marriage
Having Premarital Sex
Masturbation
Having Anal Sex
Having Oral Sex
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest)
Being Selfish
Playing Sports
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to Rock and Roll
Believing in Evolution
Being Jewish
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future
I'm sure I've forgotten a few … so I'll probably be down there too. Maybe I'll be lucky and be a bit less lonely than I am up here!
uh-oh....
? haha
LOL
After reading all the posts here, I'll just add everyone from Lush to my own personal list of probably hundreds of aquaintenances and friends.... It will most definitely be party time and remeet all of my friends already there.... 
