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New BBQ Rules-Please Read

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Lurker
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We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter Exclusion Zone where the activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man proudly asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
Active Ink Slinger
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Better watch it with that one Rocco. When I grill, I do all the accessories as well. (But still funny LOL)
"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde
Lurker
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your woman just needs better training, Wicked
Moderator
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Most of those 'rules' apply in my house, too. If I so much as look at the BBQ, he growls at me.

He'll help out by getting drinks for people, but if it's any more complicated than beer, that suddenly becomes my job as well.
Active Ink Slinger
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Sounds like Sundays at my house…
Lurker
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Too cute.
Active Ink Slinger
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Funny
Lurker
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Nobody's infuriated?

Tsk. You gals disappoint me and need a spankin'.
Active Ink Slinger
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I am infuriated, I just thought it best not to say anything...
Lurker
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You could have spoken up Rex. I would have listened to you. With those lips I am focused like a laser on every word that comes out of your mouth.
Active Ink Slinger
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BBQ Rules: It depends on the occasion.

The chance to burn meat - cow, pig, prawn, lamb - should be open to everybody.

The most important thing is NOT who cooks the meat (and the veg, ie corn, etc, and the soya products), but that the meat is cooked properly.

There's nothing worse than half-raw meat on one side, and burnt to a cinder on the other. At most barbies - sausages (aka Mystery Bags) are done after one drink, burgers after two drinks, and steaks after three. Having a designated cook means that it's easy to blame somebody when your guts go crook, to borrow from the venacular.
Advanced Wordsmith
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Quote by roccotool
Nobody's infuriated?



Sure, whenever I BBQ, it burns me up...
Seeker
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Quote by roccotool
Nobody's infuriated?

Tsk. You gals disappoint me and need a spankin'.



Why would we be infuriated? This is just further, written proof that women do everything...even if the man gets all the credit. And the fact that it was posted by a man just means that you admit to it.
Lurker
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LOL@LB
Lurker
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To his credit, Mr Ali is a great cook and does all the extras as well.

Active Ink Slinger
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I happen to be queen of the grilled veggies in my house.. but that may just be because I am a bit of a pyro.
Lurker
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I do the BBQs and the salad and the prep as I'm a perfectionist when it comes to that...Other than fighting constantly with my dad he did teach me to make a good BBQ from scratch with wood and coal...


My OH does the dishes...
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by myles69


There's nothing worse than half-raw meat on one side, and burnt to a cinder on the other. At most barbies - sausages (aka Mystery Bags) are done after one drink, burgers after two drinks, and steaks after three. Having a designated cook means that it's easy to blame somebody when your guts go crook, to borrow from the venacular.


OMG 3 drinks for a steak??? They better be shots and you have them already poured when you drop the steak on the grill. If you cook off anything more than the mooo the steak is burnt and only fit for canines.
Active Ink Slinger
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I am given to understand that after three thinks you tend not to care if the meat is burnt anyway.
Lush Legend
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Quote by Lil_Birdie
Quote by roccotool
Nobody's infuriated?

Tsk. You gals disappoint me and need a spankin'.



Why would we be infuriated? This is just further, written proof that women do everything...even if the man gets all the credit. And the fact that it was posted by a man just means that you admit to it.


"Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."
Lush Legend
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Quote by Durrasch
your woman just needs better training, Wicked


laughable.....
"Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."
Lurker
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Quote by Zafia
Quote by Durrasch
your woman just needs better training, Wicked


laughable.....


Long as I made you smile, then my work here is done.