This thread is great, it's just made me realise that I'm feeling that way. Not pissed off, not meh but somewhere in the middle. It's like I could go either way. I actually did get fucking angry earlier with my laptop because it was being an extraordinarily slow prick and then mehed out a little. It's the indecisiveness that I'm not keen on.
I can't dedicate a song to this feeling but if I did, it'd have to be something mediocre and extraordinary. I wrote this massive rant but I'm not gonna let anyone see it, it was just for me. I was doing that thing I sometimes do and bottling things up. I couldn't tell the subject of the rant about it because it's pretty hurtful to them but I had to let it out and now that I've let it out, I'm all residual anger with a side of fuck you and a dessert of whatever.
It feels like a mythic triumph over a completely indifferent foe, as Buffy said to Giles after he'd attempted to beat Toth with a fertility God statue and Toth just turned and swept out majestically (Episode 3, Season 5, "The Replacement"). Yeah, I'm that much of a Buffy fiend that I can quote whole bits like that.
Today was CRAPPETTY CRAP (on a stick), but whilst I feel like I have gone through the mill and been wrung out, and pegged limply on a washing line, my friends have managed to shine a little light, and it helped.
I still feel really, really crap. But it helped.
Thank you for making me smile too.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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Today really has been one of those days, so far. I was having a few beers last night, watching Angel (season 4, disc 5), criticising it as I do then got on Lush after having watched my usual block of 4 episodes. Danced a wee bit to Slipknot and Metallica and then went to bed at about 5 o'clock. It was only then that I realised that I had to get up in a couple of hours for a totally useless job search appointment (I say it's useless because here in good old fucking Blighty, there are very few jobs available. You know it's bad when professionals like doctors and such are unemployed) anyway I'm digressing. I decided to blow the appointment off because the wee git that I'd be seeing is a complete and utter arsehole. Obviously, I'm now in trouble for doing so.
I decided to get my computer built again, so I went about doing that, made the cable management all ninja and tried to switch it on. Nothing. Not a fucking peep. My immediate thought was that I'd put something in wrong, so I verified all cables were in the correct place, checked the front panel header on the motherboard and everything was fine. My next port of call was the old screwdriver trick - I shorted the jumpers of the power header together using a screwdriver just to test if it was the power switch that was wrong. Still nothing. Tried a barrage of other tests and it's now become clear that the motherboard is dead. RIP Abit IP35 Pro, you've served both me and my mum well. I'm not exactly pissed off at that but I'm reluctantly accepting of it. I know it's old and I'm saving for a new system (one that's fast as fuck) but I'm just so sick of things breaking on me and not having the money to fix them. It's an arse.
Echo, you're damned right, that quote does fit here perfectly. "I don't want any trouble. I just wanna be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is. But I want one. Instead, I keep getting trouble, which I am more than willing to share." Sometimes Buffy just hit the nail on the head.
took the car into the shop today. looks like it's gonna cost me. sigh
haven't heard from a friend in weeks. not sure what the problem is. and was talking to another earlier today when she just disappeared and has not returned.
I had a reason for a good mad on. But then he apologized *sigh* then I had a bleh and now I am at the middle where I am liable to go either way! I hate these days!
Slow day. Cannot get my arse moving at all. There's a slight mehness about it, but its just one of those slow days where I intend to get stuff done but nothing happens. I'm so tired too. Anyone need an ADSL filter? I have loads that need sold. Blergh just about covers it. *sigh* going to sleep for a few days now.