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If your pet could understand English for 5 minutes, what would you say to him/her?

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LYFBUZ
Troublemaker
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If your pet is a cat he or she understands English perfectly, they're just ignoring you. Cats would speak English and many other languages to us but they think we are all dolts.
Guest
Lurker
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I would tell my dog a half german shepherd and half belgian shepherd that she is wonderful, that I love her so, that she is so cute when she sleeps and snores by my bed but she didn't have to eat my collection watch and my father's driving license. LOL
Tegwar
Active Ink Slinger
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Yeah yeah, you love me blah blah blah. Tell me if Elvis is still alive and if UFOs are real.
Tegwar
Active Ink Slinger
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Yeah yeah, you love me blah blah blah. Tell me if Elvis is still alive and if UFOs are real.
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
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I will continue to feed you and give you water, but it's time you started cleaning out your own catbox.
Guest
Lurker
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I would tell my service dog Cooper thank you for saving my life so many times and tell him and his sister Bonnie that I love them both! I’d also tell them of the joy they bring to my life...
trinket
Convict
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I would tell my 10 yo dog that even though his leg feels a bit different now that he still has three good ones to run on. That the painkillers will make him feel happy, but I wouldn't tell him he can't have the $4500 operation for his leg because he has an enlarged heart and only has roughly a year left.
Gillianleeeza
Normal Adjacent
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To my cat Apollo. " I love you but what the hell were you doing for five weeks down the storm drainage system and why do you now try to get out again. Do I need to remind you that you were starving when you were found? Still, love you even though you made me crazy/crazier. STAY INSIDE and enjoy all the new toys and bed I made the rest of the family buy you!!!!!!!
Rick_Valley
Active Ink Slinger
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My dog and I don't need to talk for five minutes. Talking is over rated. She knows I love her and she loves me.
Guest
Lurker
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You're not a good dog. I've been lying to you.
noll
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
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Who are you and how did you get in?


===  Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER  ===

Smoocher
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by ShamelessFlirt
Next time I have company, do me a favor, don't sit there and stare. I've learned more from watching you when you were in heat. And since we're talking, at some point we're going to have to figure out a way to deal with that cold nose.


BEST OF LUCK ... I know somebody that has TWO furry critters with cold noses and quick tongues. Have you ever been "SLURPED" at an inappropriate time?? ???
apptobebad
Unfuckwithable
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Quote by trinket
I would tell my 10 yo dog that even though his leg feels a bit different now that he still has three good ones to run on. That the painkillers will make him feel happy, but I wouldn't tell him he can't have the $4500 operation for his leg because he has an enlarged heart and only has roughly a year left.


I am really sorry to hear that.
You should first read this Looky Here!!

and then this Free stuff

then say 'Hi'
Guest
Lurker
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Barf on the linoleum!!
Simmerdownchick
Creator
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He's blind, so I'd play 'hot, hot, cold' with him, cuz that would be hilarious! (I know, so wrong )

I have three famous stories, 2 recommended reads and have come in the top ten in two competitions~ Come in and make yourself at home.

MollyDoll
Southern Charmer
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I would tell my cat Toodles, that I love her, but she needs to stop being such a dick. Stop laying on the stairs while we walk down them and stop smacking us when we don't stop to play with you. Also, I would appreciate it if you would stay off my mantle, and my kitchen table. Oh and how about staying out of the kitchen sink? That would all be great, thanks.

I have a new story out! Wish You Were Here A teasing sub may I have pushed too far, but the punishment is oh so sweet.

If you haven't already, please check out my story with leftlingula. A husband and wife rediscovered each other and It all started with one simple word...
Nightshade Part 1 & Nightshade: Part 2

Simmerdownchick
Creator
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Quote by MollyDoll
I would tell my cat Toodles, that I love her, but she needs to stop being such a dick. Stop laying on the stairs while we walk down them and stop smacking us when we don't stop to play with you. Also, I would appreciate it if you would stay off my mantle, and my kitchen table. Oh and how about staying out of the kitchen sink? That would all be great, thanks.


From Toodles:

Dear Mom, I am not going to stop laying of the stairs. You have to continue to walk around me, because I am a cat. I like to attack your ankles, it's best when you don't like it. It gives me a sense of great satisfaction. The mantle is mine, and so is the kitchen table. The sink fits me and it's mine too.
Love,
Toodles

I have three famous stories, 2 recommended reads and have come in the top ten in two competitions~ Come in and make yourself at home.

MollyDoll
Southern Charmer
0 likes
Quote by Simmerdownchick


From Toodles:

Dear Mom, I am not going to stop laying of the stairs. You have to continue to walk around me, because I am a cat. I like to attack your ankles, it's best when you don't like it. It gives me a sense of great satisfaction. The mantle is mine, and so is the kitchen table. The sink fits me and it's mine too.
Love,
Toodles

You really have met Toodles haven't you? I took everything off the mantle and it is now hers. I'm not stupid and I know my place. lol

I have a new story out! Wish You Were Here A teasing sub may I have pushed too far, but the punishment is oh so sweet.

If you haven't already, please check out my story with leftlingula. A husband and wife rediscovered each other and It all started with one simple word...
Nightshade Part 1 & Nightshade: Part 2

doctorlove
Active Ink Slinger
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My pet does understand english....i say sit and he sits, I ask if he wants to go outside and he perks his ears and gets his leash. I can ask for a beer and he goes to get one
adele
Weaver of Words
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I think most cats and dogs understand a certain amount of words, and it you pay attention, you know what they are trying to tell you too. My cat Lucy will turn around, come when called, roll over and show me her tummy, and a number of other things. she has done some of these things from the first time I asked her to, without any prompting. she will stand by her water bowl and meow at me if it is getting low, will stand in the hallway if her food bowl as a dime sized spot where you can see the bottom, or yell at me non stop if she decides her kitty litter is an hour late in being cleaned.
Meagananne1986
Sexy Seductive Siren
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I love you and I'm so glad you're in my life. I wouldn't be complete without you.
Meagan
Ivanka
Щíccαη Щoods Щhore
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Sometimes I have a ride with Pepper down to our lake. He's a Colorado Ranger breed horse I've had for 3 years now.

Sometimes I'm sitting there with my feet in the water looking about the lake, ducks washing their feathers, listening to beaver cracking wood over by the culvert, watching fish jumping at the floating water bugs, geese und birds, sometimes see reindeer in the forest, warm breeze und sun on my face.
Sorry, but I love it there. smile

I look up at Pepper. He's standing there chewing grass und just looking around at everything as well. I can see him having interest looking at different things.
He sees me look up at him und he turns to look back until I turn away und again look at the lake, as if to say. "I like it here too".

I would just simply like to ask him what he's thinking about a lot of times. :)
. . .♀♌TT☩✯⁂⊕⧋▽⧊ )◯( ψΨ∅ǯǮǯ∞✾❈❁✤. . .
twooldtwocare
Active Ink Slinger
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I would tell them how much I love them, and how much they enrich my life, and I would do anything for them and to protect them. Then I would ask them, especially my oldest girl, how, if their sense of smell is 1000 times stronger than a humans, can they let one go and cause permanent damage to my sinuses, and burning to my eyes that is equal to a combination of OC spray, CS, and a burning building. All without running in self protection.
Cameo_
Cat lover =^..^=
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He understands me very well, but chooses to do as he pleases... and I let him. He knows I adore him.
Buz
The Linebacker
0 likes
I can bark.