The Love Guru
Guru Pitka: If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your uncle jack off an elephant?
I love star wars as well. Greatest movie franchise ever (for me)
But I was gonna go to Toche station to pick up some power converters! - Luke
Even when you're blindfolded, Hindsite is 20/20
"I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handel it. Have a nice day."
"Toga!"
"Are me seams straight?"
"You lost your arms in battle, but you grew some nice boobs."
"Lady please, I'm not from Havanna."
CASINO
Nicky extorting his banker:
"I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and, uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your fuckin' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your fuckin' head open again. 'Cause I'm fuckin' stupid. I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do."
Sam Kinison as a professor, in Back To School:
[after a female student answered correctly why America pulled out of Vietnam]
Is she right? 'Cause I know that's the *popular* version of what went on there. And a lot of people like to believe that. I wish I could, but I was *there*. I wasn't here in a class room, hoping I was right, thinking about it. [shouting] I was up to my knees in rice paddies, with guns that didn't work! Going in there, looking for Charlie, slugging it out with him, while pussies like you were back here partying, putting headbands on, doing drugs, and listening to the goddamn Beatle albums! Oh! Oh! Oh!
"what frightens you most coope?"
"spiders.....and women......oh and spider women!"
Dog Soldiers
"All work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
The shining
"I know what you're thinking- "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But, being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?"
Punk moves hand away from the shotgun.
"Mister ahgats to know" Punk
Callahan aim at the punk and pulls the trigger....CLICK
"Shhhiiitt" Punk
goldhat: oiga senor. we are the federales; you know the mounted police.
dobbs: if you are the police where are your badges?
goldhat: badges? we ain't got no badges! we don't need no badges! i don't have to show you any stinking badges!
dobbs: better not come any closer!
g
good one, bf! bravo! i had not seen that one!
g
"Throw up your hands/Stick out your tush/Hands on your hips/Give 'em a push/You'll be surprised, you're doing the French Mistake/Voila!"
Bart: Are we awake?
Jim: We're not sure. Are we... black?
Bart: Yes, we are.
Jim: Then we're awake... but we're very puzzled
Hedley Lamarr: Crimes?
Bart: Stampeding cattle.
Hedley Lamarr: That's not much of a crime.
Bart: Through the Vatican?
Hedley Lamarr: [smiling] Kinkyyyy. Sign here.
One of the funniest movies ever made.
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
Spaceballs
\Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Major Asshole: I did sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!
Dark Helmet: How many asholes do we have on this ship, anyway?
[Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!
[Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down]
Dark Helmet: Keep firing, assholes!
Vespa : Who are you?
Barf: Barf.
Dot: Not in here mister this is a Mercedes.
Barf: Not that's my name Barf.
Vespa: What are you?
Barf: I'm a mog Half man, half dog. I am my own best friend.
John Candy in another great role. You will be missed.
Black troopers: We aint found shit!
Colonel Sanders: Try here stop
*looks around bewildered*
Dark Helmet: What the hell am I lookin' at? When does this happen in the movie
Colonel Sanders: Now. You're looking at now sir. Everything that happens now is happening NOW
Dark Helmet: What happened to then?
Colonel Sanders: We passed it.
Dark Helmet: When?
Colonel Sanders:Just now. We're at NOW now.
Dark Helmet: Go back to then!
Colonel Sanders: When?
Dark Helmet: Now!
Colonel Sanders: Now?
Dark Helmet: Now!
Colonel Sanders: I can't.
Dark Helmet: Why?
Colonel Sanders: We missed it.
Dark Helmet: When?
Colonel Sanders: Just now.
Dark Helmet: When will then be now?
Colonel Sanders: Soon
Dark Helmet: How soon?
Spaceball: SIR!
Dark Helmet: What?
Spaceball: We've identified their location.
Dark Helmet: Where?
Spaceball: It's the moon of Vega
Colonel Sanders: Good work, set a course and prepare for our arrival
Dark Helmet: WHEN?
Spaceball: 19 Hundred hours sir
Colonel Sanders: By high noon tomorrow they will be our prisoners
Dark Helmet: WHO!!!!?????
Even when you're blindfolded, Hindsite is 20/20
"hey where all the white women at?"
From Vegas Vacation:
Cousin Eddie, talking about the plate in his head: Every time I belch, the plate shifts and my legs give out. But man, what a view!
[Clark and Ellen have found Audrey dancing at the Club Aereola]
Clark Griswold: Audrey! What are you doing? Ten years of tap dancing lessons and this is the way you repay us?
Audrey Griswold: What? You told me to get a summer job!
i like the one on High School Musical 3 when Troy invites to Gabriella to the prom. he has her choose which shirt he should wear to the prom only to whisk her away in song!! "Can I Have This Dance?" check that song out!!
Big Daddy
"Cat, dog, fish, hip hip-hop hip-hop anonymous? YOU GIVE HIM ALL THE EASY ONES."
Water Boy
"Mama said alligators are so ornery, cuz they got all them teeth and no toof brush"
Forget who you thought I was, I'm The Chris J bitch!
"Candygram for mongo, candygram for mongo. Sign here please. Thank you." duh duh duh dadadaduh dadaduh duh BOOM
Forget who you thought I was, I'm The Chris J bitch!
heres one for susan "nothn sexyer than a naked women with a gun" or some thing like that its from the whole nine yards
save a horse ride a cowboy
The Bad Guy shoots our masked hero with his revolver several times, while our hero slowly walks towards him, shaken with each shot.
"Die! Die! DIE! WHY DONT YOU JUST DIE!"
Our hero V replies:
"Behind this mask is an ideal, and ideals are bulletproof!"
From V for Vandetta.
