It's been proposed that the following warning signs be placed on
bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible perils of drinking
a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with
breath that could knock a buzzard off a dead skunk.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing
like an idiot.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
boring story over and over again until your friends want to
assault you.
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings
like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss
what you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that
you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really
big guy named Psycho Bill.
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ALCOHOL WARNINGS
Active Ink Slinger
lol, i found those quite funny. I was looking at a match box earlier and I noticed a stick man on fire (which i have seen on serveral boxes before) but underneath that was a caption that said, use these and you WILL light your arm on fire.
I still used them and did not catch on fire...
I still used them and did not catch on fire...
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by bikebum1975
It's been proposed that the following warning signs be placed on
bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible perils of drinking
a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with
breath that could knock a buzzard off a dead skunk.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing
like an idiot.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
boring story over and over again until your friends want to
assault you.
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings
like thish. <<<Guilty!
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss
what you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that
you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really
big guy named Psycho Bill.
Active Ink Slinger
That reminds me of this:
The caption is totally wrong, by the way. It is a Warning WIN
The caption is totally wrong, by the way. It is a Warning WIN
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by O0ziiomara0O
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings
like thish. <<<
She's not as think as you drunk she is...
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Monocle
That reminds me of this:
The caption is totally wrong, by the way. It is a Warning WIN
I have heard of this.
Carpe Diem
Red out
Red out
THE TEN STAGES OF INTOXICATION
(1) WITTY AND CHARMING: This is after one or two drinks. The tongue is loosened and can yet remain in step with the brain. In the "witty and charming" state, one is likely to use foreign idioms a tale of two authors and phrases such as "au contraire" in place of "Now way, Jose," or "Bullsheyet".
(2) RICH AND POWERFUL: By the third drink, you begin mentioning the little 380 SL you've had your eye on down at the Mercedes place.
(3) BENEVOLENT: You'll buy her a Mercedes, too. It's only money.
(4) JUST ONE MORE AND THEN WE'LL EAT: Stall tactic.
(5) TO HELL WITH DINNER: Just one more and then we'll eat.
(6) PATRIOTIC: The war stories begin.
(7) CRANK UP THE "ENOLA GAY": "We could have won in Nam, but..."
(8) INVISIBLE: So this is what the Ladies' Room looks like.
(9) WITTY AND CHARMING PART II: You know, you don't sweat much for a fat girl.
(10) BULLETPROOF: Bull-sheyet, gimme them keys, I can drive.
-- Lewis Grizzard, "My Daddy Was a Pistol and I'm a Son of a Gun".
(1) WITTY AND CHARMING: This is after one or two drinks. The tongue is loosened and can yet remain in step with the brain. In the "witty and charming" state, one is likely to use foreign idioms a tale of two authors and phrases such as "au contraire" in place of "Now way, Jose," or "Bullsheyet".
(2) RICH AND POWERFUL: By the third drink, you begin mentioning the little 380 SL you've had your eye on down at the Mercedes place.
(3) BENEVOLENT: You'll buy her a Mercedes, too. It's only money.
(4) JUST ONE MORE AND THEN WE'LL EAT: Stall tactic.
(5) TO HELL WITH DINNER: Just one more and then we'll eat.
(6) PATRIOTIC: The war stories begin.
(7) CRANK UP THE "ENOLA GAY": "We could have won in Nam, but..."
(8) INVISIBLE: So this is what the Ladies' Room looks like.
(9) WITTY AND CHARMING PART II: You know, you don't sweat much for a fat girl.
(10) BULLETPROOF: Bull-sheyet, gimme them keys, I can drive.
-- Lewis Grizzard, "My Daddy Was a Pistol and I'm a Son of a Gun".
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