My bosses favourite to patronize me is 'in my humble opinion you should do this this and this(insert lame ass idea here)'..there is nothing humble about it
I have few more with mrriage proposals but none of was bad as my first post.
Couple of guys were after a one month of 'dating' assumed that it's time to step up in 'relationship' with words..
"after we are merried we will.." nope those guys never asked if I want to marry them they just assumed that I will be flattered or something..
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
"I have to be honest and say..."
HIM: "Can we just not use a condom. I'll be careful and pull out?"
ME: "Have you been checked?"
HIM: "What?"
ME: "As in have you been checked for STDs?"
HIM: "What's an STD?" I am patient. English wasn't his first language.
ME: "A sexually transmitted disease."
HIM: "Hmm?"
ME: "Just keep the fucking condom on, or I am going to leave."
I have had a few people tell me they love me after knowing me for less than 24 hours. The above guy is one who I am now hiding from. He told me he is coming to visit me for a couple of weeks.
Truly, this is a great thread. Never laughed so much, and many of the 'lines' are so familiar to me. I no longer feel alone.
To understand the worst cringe I ever had meted out upon me you need a little background - and this was a looo-ong time ago.
My first ever serious girlfriend, Caroline, met my folks (they adored her) and everything, but the time was not right to settle down - too young, too horny etc. We break up, I move overseas and move on.
SEVEN years later I fly my Mom out to meet my then fiance, Lynne (now my wife). The intros go well, all is going swimmingly when, out of the blue, in front of Lynne, Mom asks, all innocent like,"So, do you still hear much from Caroline?"
I still have nightmares about that moment.
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
"You have it all wrong... You see, that girl that just tried to run us over in the street with her SUV is my ex-girlfriend ... she's crazy."
... As it turned out, she was his "ex"-girlfriend of only 2 hours, and had yet to move her things out of his house at the time of our "date".
Everytime i get asked when i'm going to settle down and have a normal life - excuse me, i've been living with the same woman for 3 years now and she treats me 10 times better then any of my previous boyfriends ever did.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
"I couldn't go out with you, you're my best friend."
"Will you buy me a drink?"
No, I won't buy you a $%%^%^$ drink!
"You didn't just cum, did you?"
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
"Are you fucking crazy?" as in for real...crazy...psycho...
Made me think, am I??
I decide no, after much pondering!!
"Don't get an attitude!"
like... excuse me. If I had an ATTITUDE you would know it.
I hate that!
Amber
I was out on a date not that long ago. The guy is a few years younger than myself (not 20 years younger!). We are discussing how difficult it is to date in Vancouver (which legend has it, the women are gorgeous but expect to be sponsored; the men dress well, and are very much overextended in their credit - just check out their cars!)
Anyways ... this guy says why he dates older women is because us older women with either split the bill, or pay for it. I was like ... "what? laughing" ... then he says this:
"Well, it's not like you are in your early thirties - you are past your prime. Older women like the attention, even if they have to pay for it."
Being the normally gracious person in this type of thing, I smile and let it go. Then he wanted to take me home for a fuck ... I mean ... really???
(No I did not go home with him, nor did I pay the bill - fuck that noise!)
Van
When someone starts the sentence with "now don't take this personally...." and then criticizes something you said or did.....how is that not personal if you are saying it to me and its about me?????
"I have something I need to tell you" ....I hate hearing that ...it is almost always something bad
This was by my current ex....
Him: Don't be mad, but I been sleeping with Jenn *who was my best friend*
Me: How long?
Him: Does it really matter?
Me: *Screaming* How LONG?
Him: Shortly after your mom got sick.
Me: Get out
Him: but baby
Me: Don't but baby me, get OUT....
On my first (and last) date with a doctor...
Him: Can I see your pussy?
Me: NO
Him: It's okay. I'm a doctor.
I was totally turned on and she was playing with my hard member and said "Does it get bigger?"
Alas, I endured. Still cringe though.