Lets hear your reasons for your answers.
So I thought I would add further to this.
My feelings are that everyone looks at relationships differently and I am enjoying getting to know the different variations of relationships
Its def an educating experience!
wait, you're not supposed to have sex with your friends? who made THAT rule up? it's pure dumb.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
I think the sensuality is more vital to a relationship than raw sex. The need for intimacy is number one in my relationship playbook. What was your vote? But there is absolutely nothing wrong with a true friendship so my answer isn't being dismissive. But you know I'm a romantic fool, accent on 'fool'
Marriage after 25 years.
I concur that intimacy stems from sex. Once sex dramatically falls of so does the intimacy and, if only one sided, it breeds a great deal of contempt and frustration. It does leave a rather large hole.
Not saying that hole cannot be filled by other means.
There are all different kinds of friendships and all different kinds of sexual relationships. Sometimes they overlap. I have several friends with benefits who are just friends. Some that I truly love, and some who are just good friends w/o sex. Take each relationship as it develops, and get rid of those who try to possess you as their sexual property, unless you WANT to be someone's sexual property. Monogamy usually works okay for straight couples and gay couples, but for bi-sexuals, you always have to sacrifice half of who you are if you're monogamous with just one gender.
I'm with Beffer.
I can have sex with an acquaintance/friend/best friend/roommate. That sex can be like a cocaine high, or a slow euphoria. it can be selfish or selfless. There's too many variables to it to define a relationship purely on the existence/persistence of sex.
I think we pack too many assumption into sex because of largely monogamous societal influences.
Now, about seeking intimacy...
I think that in a long term relationship, sex and its frequency may be an indicator of bond/closeness/intimacy, rather than the thing that maintains the bond/closeness/intimacy.
If you're mad at someone, you don't immediately think, "Hey, I'm horny. What I want is to have sex with someone I'm mad at." (it is possible though)
Maybe you do get your rocks off, but that doesn't necessarily make the bond whole or even better again. It just means you satisfied an urge - eros from the greek definition of love.
But if you are feeling close to that someone, you may desire sex in a more selfless or partner-centered focus to show your affection for them, which has the potential to enhance the bond with that partner.
"the Great God (snicker)" - James 'Bear' Llewellyn
Definitely sounds like marriage to me.
The flaw is with the question. What sort of relationship?
Many I have had have not had sex.
Relationships with work colleagues
With my family
With friends and their family
People here, people on other sites.
If it works, everyone involved is happy with it and no one gets hurt, ok, maybe the odd spanking, then why not?
Trouble is it's so easy to hurt people and very hard to heal those wounds.
If you want to talk about intimacy instead of sex, that's a whole new ball game as I think a relationship without intimacy is not a relationship.
Intimacy is something we can share with everyone at one level or another and it doesn't have to be sexual, it doesn't have to be sensual. It can be as little as knowing a bit about my life outside of <insert situation>. People at work don't need to know my marital status or how many kids I have, sharing that, is sharing something intimate.
Even when a relationship is sexual, intimacy doesn't have to be sexual. Something as simple as lying together watching a film or talking about your day over dinner. That last kiss goodnight as you snuggle together in bed, the love tap as you walk past the other. That joke that only you know why you are laughing.
There is no reason why a relationship that has been sexual cannot still be intimate when the sex stops, providing both parties are happy for the relationship to change. It goes back to what I said, so long as everyone involved is happy, and no one is hurt, then that's fine. Cutting your partner off from sex without conversation or discussion only leads to resentment, this is exacerbated because intimacy often stops about the same time. As the sex has been cut off the only thing the other partner can withdraw is their intimacy.
Without intimacy is there a relationship?
Friendship is essential for the kind of intimacy I want from a person I have sex with.
I don't *need* the sex for the intimacy, but i do need the intimacy for the sex.
I do like the kind of "surprise sex" that happens with intimate friends, unexpected and arising out of conversation or other intimate moments.
All friendships are different, I think that a true friendship is a friendship with or without sex, but no relationship is worth anything without trust, as long as you have that you don't really need anything else as much as you may want it.
But for two women, I've never had any real friendships, with or without sex. I had a mentor and my relationship with her was perhaps deeper, in its way, than most friendships. It was visceral and demanding and feral at its core. For years, it was not sexual in any physical sense, yet more intimate than that. When we ultimately did consummated our relationship, it was its summation.
Friendship, caring, commitment.....sex becomes the icing on the cake.
If one fears failure above all else, they might choose a relationship without sex, where that "Next Level" of commitment hasn't been made.
The last 15+ years of my marriage
When it comes to the importance of sex, it really depends on the people in question and the nature of said relationship.
It could be an intimate friendship, it could be a deep and personal mentor/mentee situation, or it could just be two people that care a great deal about the well being of the other.
I can’t think of a good tagline so this will have to do. Suggest a better one for me?
Relationships can develop in really different directions so I think it depends on the people involved to define what one is without sex.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
What isn't mentioned in the question is was the relationship ever sexual?
I have some incredibly deep relationships with people I've never slept with nor wanted to.
I've have some warm loving relationships that were sexual once and changed over time.
Whatever was posted is always meant in love and respect never to offend.
I'm also highly likely to have posted this from a phone so there may be typos or odd word changes, auto correct can be a pain.
I've been listening to my kinky pencil here's my current work
My current Competition entry is here
A Cure For Stagefright
I put a little banner in here, it might change. I'm still messing about with it.
The kind of relationship I have with my wife if I dont take out the trash, clean up after myself or help with the chores.
Depends on the relationship:-
Frustrating
Less complicated
Sad
Fine
