Poor people of St. George, Utah

25 Sep 2013

I didn't know where to put this article but thought it was too stupid to pass up on sharing. coffee

Now how are they going to enforce this?

Source

St. George, UT — One city in Utah has decided it has had enough porn in their town and is taking the drastic measure of banning all pornography along with making it a criminal offense. In a unanimous decision by the city council of St. George, Utah, a law was passed making the possession of any pornographic related material in the city limits a crime punishable by 30 days in jail.
Mayor Arthur McDaniel told CNN he is excited about the new law. “It’s time a city steps up and sets a precedent that this disgusting filth that has plagued this great country of ours for generations will no longer be tolerated,” McDaniel said. “Pornography is a defiant act against Jesus and his teachings. The rest of the country can keep their heads in the sand about this smut and corruption to our children, but not the great city of St. George. I can only hope and pray other cities and states follow suit.”
The ban on pornography in St George takes effect November 1st of this year. Sheriff Paul Covington explained to reporters about the criminal implementation of the upcoming ban. “Our police force will be targeting anyone selling, distributing or using pornographic material including but not limited to magazines, toys, movies and of course the internet; basically anything that is porn related. Anyone in violation of this new law will be subject to a jail sentence of no less than 30 days,” Covington said. “We will also be removing certain produce from our grocery stores; we know all the tricks of a sexual deviant.”
48-year-old St. George resident Myron Danus told reporters he does not approve of the ban. “I don’t care if this is a Mormon backwards state or not, this is a free country and I can watch porn if I damn well please,” Danus said. “If I want to watch naked girls, that’s my business. I’ll be the first one down there in front of the courthouse with a Playboy magazine in one hand and tub of Vaseline in the other.”
According to recent porn data usage released by pornhub.com; the average visit duration time of a resident in Utah is a little over ten minutes. The top three porn searches for Utah is ‘compilation’, ‘teen’ and ‘hentai’.
The town of St. George has a population of 75,561 as of the 2012 census and is located in the southwestern part of Utah on the Arizona border. So far state officials in Utah have yet to make a formal statement concerning the ban on pornography.

Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!

25 Sep 2013

Some great quotes ;)

“We will also be removing certain produce from our grocery stores; we know all the tricks of a sexual deviant.”

“I’ll be the first one down there in front of the courthouse with a Playboy magazine in one hand and tub of Vaseline in the other.”

=== Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER ===

26 Sep 2013

Quote: Pornography is a defiant act against Jesus and his teachings.

I thought I knew the New Testament pretty well, but there's not mention of pornography at all. There are some things that Jesus specially said we should do - love thy neighbour - and I do, she's pretty tasty!

Poor, poor St. George.

26 Sep 2013

Quote by OldGeezer

I thought I knew the New Testament pretty well, but there's not mention of pornography at all. There are some things that Jesus specially said we should do - love thy neighbour - and I do, she's pretty tasty!

damn... is it too late to sign up to bible class with you? i kind of like your version.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

26 Sep 2013

Next on their town council agenda will be banning backyard vegetable gardens of all corn, carrots, and the Devil's food of choice, zucchini.

28 Sep 2013

Quote by BikeBoy
Next on their town council agenda will be banning backyard vegetable gardens of all corn, carrots, and the Devil's food of choice, zucchini.

Don't forget cucumbers or summer squash and melons.

When I was in college there was a guy in the dorm that had a fascination for cantaloupes. It makes me wonder if they will be able to sell any produce in St. George. Talk about vitamin deficiencies.

I imagine there will be quite the black market for these perverted fruits and vegetables. I wonder if there will be raids on houses where people have hydroponic gardens and lamps growing such perverted things like pears, peaches, melons, cucumbers and zuchini?

I think the only plant left to eat would be lima beans.

28 Sep 2013

The obvious explanation is that the exposure to the radiation that St. George was exposed to in the forties, fifties, and early sixties from nuclear tests is finally being felt.

The sheriff is right to be concerned about mutant vegetables finding their way into the good citizens of St. George.

28 Sep 2013

Municipal governments down there have the power to create criminal laws with jail terms?? Up here in the Great White North (at least in the province of Ontario) they can't even have fines above a certain level. Even provinces are limited to making laws in specific areas (e.g. traffic offences) and can't impose jail terms, just things like fines, license suspensions, impounding vehicles, and such. Making criminal law is exclusively the jurisdiction of the federal government, with the provinces responsible for prosecution.

And that article would all sorts of laughs if it wasn't so f'ed up. Do we know for sure it's not an Onion parody or a joke or something? The mayor's name in the quoted portion is incorrect. On the town's website, his name is Daniel McArthur, not Arthur McDaniel.

*quick chat with my buddy Google*

Aaaaand - it is a parody. Here's a story from the local newspaper.

Production and distribution of porn is illegal in Utah (ie. state level), but possession is protected by the First Amendment there as elsewhere.

31 Oct 2013

Let the Government get its own house and members in order before trying to run mine

30 Dec 2013

I of course watch porn but not really. But if you ban it people will go somewhere else to watch what they watch. But banning produce like a banana then your going too far.

30 Dec 2013

Again!

Ignorance at a level like this should never be allowed to breed back into our society!

Refer any probing questions to other great church leaders like Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert. Oh yeah, let's add Jerry Falwell because he thinks the purple TeleTubby is gay.

I've read the bible several times and I agree with old geezer, it doesn't even mention pornography.

I also think seeker4 is right too. This has to be a parody because the premiss isn't legal according to the Supreme Court decisions with the Larry Flints Hustler Magazine vs. Jerry Falwell constitutional case.

Oh yeah, Pat Robertson hired a prostitute for his interview with Larry Flint then gave him the finger on camera. A real upstanding example of religious leadership.

It's always about control. As soon as the first spiritual leaders (Witch doctors) figured out that some people were actually fearful of the deity they started controlling them. If you can control the "Sex" you control one of the most powerful of animal needs. You own them. They are slaves past that point.

I don't believe in any kind of slavery.

I remembered this from a George Carlin routine so I went and found it. He was very good at cutting out all the crap.

"Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money!

Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!”

George Carlin.

I am always a gentleman.

30 Dec 2013

I always DID like George Carlin.

I, too have read the Bible several times. I have read three different translations: King James, James Moffatt, and a copy of the Cloverdale Bible which we found in the house after my grandmother died. It was printed in Edinburgh, Scotland, in 1610. The last, I donated to the Peabody Rare Book Library along with a book of Calvinist Sermons printed the same year, after I finished reading both books.

In none of the translations did I find Jesus preaching against pornography, though he does classify many other sexual acts as sinful. Furthermore, Jesus never specifically says he will judge people who perform sinful acts; he leaves judgment up to his Lord. Although he is pretty certain there will be judgment, and that the Lord will agree with his assessment of what is and is not sinful. I find that a little arrogant of him, but otherwise, he seems like a pretty good person, if a bit of a gadabout. Lwinking

"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster