I’m kind of wondering something. I have seen this from time to time with couples and I want to know what you Lushies think.
When you’re in a relationship and you've gotten to the point of “loving” them. Do you think there is a difference between simply loving them and being IN love with them? Or do you think that once you love someone you’re also IN love with them.
For me there is a difference. I don’t tell people I love you easily but once I do, I truly mean it. Does it mean I’m in love with you? No.
For me loving someone is how I feel about them and want to be with them. They make me happy, I can’t get enough of them, and the relationship is what I want.
To me when you’re in love is when you know you could and can see yourself spending the rest of your life with them. They’re the one you know you can be with for the rest of your days.
I've only felt this way about one person up until recently. I didn't think I would ever feel this way again but now that I have it makes me wonder how others feel when they “love” or are “in love”.
Is this just me, or do others feel the same?
I’d love some insight.
Well you could say you love eating jam and cheese but you wouldn't say you were in love with them so I suppose loving someone or thing is the more general expression that can be applied in a loving situation or any other area of deep preference whereas you can only say I'm in love with some specific person or persons.
When you say "I love you" to someone you are dating or involved with - that person will reasonably take it to mean "I'm in love with you".
Say it to a parent, pet, child, or friend and it usually just means more of a pure sense of unconditional love and support (without the 'eros' implied with being 'in love').
Obviously there are huge differences but when you're expressing it to someone, it comes down to semantics and the individual relationship you have with that person. For example - if I was dating someone for two months, I wouldn't say "I love you" unless I meant "I'm in love with you." People you're romantically involved with won't differentiate between the two - hence the heavy implications of the words in those situations.
To get to "I'm in love with you" is a big step - and also requires clear differentiation from the more commonly felt, but less often expressed, "I'm infatuated with you."
i love a lot of people here, and am not shy to express it. it doesn't mean i am IN love with them, that is reserved for my wife, but i do, genuinely love them. there definately is a difference in degree, and it's not infatuation, i don't want them, i don't lust for them, i simple am fond of them to a very deep, heartfelt, degree.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
The best definition of the two is this..
To LOVE someone is: to cherish, to be kind to, to want to spend time with, to respect, to enjoy, to trust, to want to know better.
To BE IN LOVE with someone: to be smitten, infatuated, enamored, hooked, taken with, besotted, head over heels.
My ex-husband is a perfect example of this. Married for 16 years and together for 20, we managed to separate and remain the best of friends. Obviously, we fell 'in love' in the beginning, had a family and remained 'in love' for a good part of our years together but then it changed and being 'in love' turned into resentment and anger and all the rest of the ugly stuff that happens when a marriage goes bad. Eventually, through hard work and a mutual desire to make things work for us and our son, a beautiful friendship was formed and 'love' blossomed again, albeit different than when we were married. So what does that mean? It means that I deeply care for my ex, that despite the fact that our happily-ever-after didn't make it, he's an awesome father and a good man who loved me as best as he could at the time. I spent almost half my life with him and we've been through it all together, good and bad. Since our break-up, I have come to appreciate the man and father and friend that he is and genuinely care about his happiness and well-being. That is 'love' but no longer 'in love'.
As for being once 'in love' with someone, always 'in love', I don't think that's entirely accurate. In my case, 'in love' turned into 'love' and I'm very grateful for that because I know it's rare. Turing 'in love' into 'love' has been just as beautiful and special both for my relationship with my ex and especially for our son to see his parents still care for each other.
I hope this makes sense...in my head it makes perfect sense of course, lol. Here's hoping I've done the question justice.
Loving someone and being in love with someone are totally different for me. I love my mom, yet I am not "in" love with her. I am "in" love with my husband though.
Sprite, Doll, and Belle....all three have given good answers. In fact, all the answers have been good.
Rick
Loving someone means you are willing to give them space in your life and adapt to their needs because they are important to you.. being in love with someone means they are your life and their needs will always be more important than yours..
I say I love you to a lot of my friends and family. But to say I am in love with someone is totally different.
Thank you all for your thoughts and how you view love and being in love. I always did wonder. All of these were great answers!
BelleduJour I totally did get what you were explaining. xxx
I think there is a great difference between Loving a person and "Being in love".
There will be many people that will walk through you life that you will love. People that you are dedicated to, want to spend time with, wish only good things for and will do your best to see that harm does not come their way.
Then their a very few people who you will "Be in Love" this is a highly consuming status that occurs early in a relationship. Not the first few weeks maybe, but still early. The fire of this kind of love is exciting beyond definition, dangerous too. It will effect ones judgement and you have a difficult time not being together every minute of every hour.
However, in most cases it burns itself out over time and reverts to just love. I have know a few people that have captured the "in Love" flash of emotion and maintained it for years. I have not had this extended experience. Nor do I know how some maintain the "In Love" status, but most of us do not.
DD, Sprite and Belle hit it spot on! It's as different as night and day!! Or as different as Love and Sex!!
You can love someone but not be in love with that person. Over the years I have had several women who I loved and enjoyed their company, I was nude with two them but I wasn't in love with them, and they felt the same way about me. I married once when I was very young thought I was in Love the marrage did not last. I realize now I was to young (my own thoughts to know about being in Love) and think I was just in lust. I thought soul mates was BS and then when I was 55 I met a lady who on the first date hugged and kissed me and I knew right then she was the one. That whole night my mind was in a whirl, I almost couldn't think right. I could feel the hug and the kiss she gave me the whole night it was just amazing I can feel it now talking about it. We have been together 12 years and she truly is my soul mate and when I kiss and hug her it feels just like it did the very first time. So there is a big difference between loving and being in love with someone.
I love my sister, but I'm not IN LOVE with her.
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
