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I Hate Bath Ducks. (Does that offend you?)

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SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
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I hate bath ducks.

I don't believe they're any good. (You're an idiot if you believe otherwise.)

From a very young age I questioned the tenets of not only that toy, but also Pokemons, Barbies, Ninja Turtles and GI Joes.

I endeavor and I believe I succeed in living a moral life to the best of my capability, but let's face it those bath ducks are fucking nasty. Sure they look cute and all, but that's just to misguide us. In reality, they're evil, manipulative, dangerous, lame and misogynistic.

I believe that the total and utter rejection of bath ducks would enable and encourage us as human beings to discover a way to live together in harmony and peace and solidarity, free from dogma, superstition, prejudice and hatred.

I believe that it's time to BURY the Mother of all bath ducks and move together towards a more rewarding and fulfilling sense of humanity, based on logic, basic morality and goodwill to our brothers and sisters worldwide.

xx SP



PS: This is of course a parody of that other thread. Moderators are free to do whatever they want with it.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes
If this symbol offends anyone, I'd be glad it does, as maybe it will provoke some thoughts. If, as an individual, my own statement and my will to express nothing more than my personal disregard toward bath ducks are perceived as an hateful commentary toward others' beliefs, maybe those people should reconsider their outlook on individuality, diverging opinions and general tolerance.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes
I love bath ducks and feel offended. Both of you guys are obviously evil and misguided. I hate you from the bottom of my heart.

I'll gladly stick around though. I love being offended.
Guest
Lurker
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For Fuck's Sake.

If you put my duck in that nasty shampoo I will kick you and take some of your records away.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes
By the way guys, my grandfather used to work in a factory of bath ducks, and I learned a lot from his wisdom.

They were invented in 1921 in the state of Nebraska. I believe the best bath ducks are made from silicone. I also prefer the classic yellow ones, as others look strange to me.

I know much of this doesn't bring anything to the discussion, but I love talking about bath ducks.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes
Quote by NickiC
For Fuck's Sake.

If you put my duck in that nasty shampoo I will kick you and take some of your records away.


This offends me. The word 'fuck' offends me. Shampoo offends me too, as it brings awful memories to me. If you had any respect for me, you would know that and act accordingly.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes
Quote by SereneProdigy
They were invented in 1921 in the state of Nebraska.


I believe it was in 1927 in Ohio. Normally I wouldn't mind your ignorance, but since this thread is already heated I might as well follow the trend and call you a fucking retard.

So yeah, fucking retard.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by SereneProdigy


I believe it was in 1927 in Ohio. Normally I wouldn't mind your ignorance, but since this thread is already heated I might as well follow along and call you a fucking retard.

So yeah, fucking retard.


Serene and Serene are having a deep conversation but that FUCKER has my duck.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes
Quote by NickiC
Serene and Serene are having a deep conversation but that FUCKER has my duck.


I hate the OP and that guy who posted the symbol, but since they're not around to talk about it I might as well discuss about all my frustrations with you.

You put FUCKER and DUCK in the same sentence over there. I feel offended. You're a fucking mean person and I hate you.

I also have some time ahead, so if you'd like we can argue about what we said and did not say, or meant and did not mean.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Oh fucking hell, I'm so deeply offended! Man, ducks are evil and must only be used for one thing: Food. Delicious evil bastards, they are.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by GingerKitty
Oh fucking hell, I'm so deeply offended! Man, ducks are evil and must only be used for one thing: Food. Delicious evil bastards, they are.


Glad to see you smiling.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes
Quote by GingerKitty
Oh fucking hell, I'm so deeply offended! Man, ducks are evil and must only be used for one thing: Food. Delicious evil bastards, they are.


I'm totally with you! Though I feel compelled to bring some more controversy in this thread, and might as well ask you what's your problem exactly with evil bastards?

Anyway, all the best. Fucker.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by SereneProdigy


I hate the OP and that guy who posted the symbol, but since they're not around to talk about it I might as well discuss about all my frustrations with you.

You put FUCKER and DUCK in the same sentence over there. I feel offended. You're a fucking mean person and I hate you.

I have some time ahead, so if you'd like we can argue about what we said and did not say, or meant and did not meant.


Give me my duck back philosopher.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes
Quote by NickiC


Give me my duck back philosopher.


Why are you quoting me? I have nothing agaisnt you. I'm open-minded and empathic.

It's all those other fucktards I have a thing against. Not you.
VanGogh
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
0 likes
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.

Do those yellow bath ducks your grandpa made quack?

Do those yellow bath ducks have webbed feet to swim about the bath?

Fuck ... quackers in the bath!! I prefer to call them quackers. Does quackers offend you??

And OP ... fuck you for starting this quacker thread .... jeezus .... have a shower instead of a bath ... the quackers won't bug you as much.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Too funny.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes
Quote by PersonalAssistant
Do those yellow bath ducks your grandpa made quack?


I never said my grandpa used to quack. Where did you get that?

I know what you're trying to do here, and it's not gonna work with me.
SydneySider
Candy Connoisseur
0 likes
Yet another shameless way to increase your post count. Well done..
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by SereneProdigy


I'm totally with you! Though I feel compelled to bring some more controversy in this thread, and might as well ask you what's your problem exactly with evil bastards?

Anyway, all the best. Fucker.


I've no problem with evil bastards! I'm an evil bastard myself. Probably why I can recognise them, I have a built-in evil bastard-dar.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by NickiC


Glad to see you smiling.



I'm glad to smile biggrin
jollyjack
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quack Quack..........you can't crack me, I'm a rubber duck
My Karma just ran over your Dogma
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Wanna say it to my face mofo?
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by SereneProdigy


I believe the best bath ducks are made from silicone.

.


Is this duck breast enhancement?
I think these fucking ducks are selfish bastards, they're all out to feather their own nests! Pure evil.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes



Are any of these signs hateful? Do they explicitly imply that I want to lapidate people who ride dinosaurs or insert iPods up their arses? Why would it be any different with the symbol I posted previously?

The symbol I posted before was simply a personal statement of my own beliefs (as I clearly stated in my post, if you actually read it), and means nothing more than 'No Bath Ducks' on its own ; I don't personally enjoy bathing with bath ducks.

I never said it was meant to offend. I said I'd be glad it does if it actually did offend others, since in my opinion people who are easily offended deserve nothing more than to be offended.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes
Hey guys, I only wanted to show you my collection of trolls.
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by SereneProdigy
Hey guys, I only wanted to show you my collection of trolls.


Ahh, SereneProdigy and the Seven Trolls. I'm calling Disney for you, I'm sure there's a film in it for them.
Archadia
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
My dad bought me a bath duck when I was 4. I think I ate it...or released it into the wild.... I can't remember...
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by Archadia
My dad bought me a bath duck when I was 4. I think I ate it...or released it into the wild.... I can't remember...

Last seen floating upside down on the Tees.
Dudealicious
Wise Ass
0 likes
Quote by SereneProdigy
I hate bath ducks.

I don't believe they're any good. (You're an idiot if you believe otherwise.)

From a very young age I questioned the tenets of not only that toy, but also Pokemons, Barbies, Ninja Turtles and GI Joes.

I endeavor and I believe I succeed in living a moral life to the best of my capability, but let's face it those bath ducks are fucking nasty. Sure they look cute and all, but that's just to misguide us. In reality, they're evil, manipulative, dangerous, lame and misogynistic.

I believe that the total and utter rejection of bath ducks would enable and encourage us as human beings to discover a way to live together in harmony and peace and solidarity, free from dogma, superstition, prejudice and hatred.

I believe that it's time to BURY the Mother of all bath ducks and move together towards a more rewarding and fulfilling sense of humanity, based on logic, basic morality and goodwill to our brothers and sisters worldwide.

xx SP



PS: This is of course a parody of that other thread. Moderators are free to do whatever they want with it.


Great way to make fun of a rather serious (original) topic that Stephanie posted.

Good job.
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

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