http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215
Brilliant!
Matriarch
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50 Shades of Grey, Review plus Pictures
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Scarlet Seductress
Anybody else wonder what score Fifty Shades would have if submitted to Lush? 
Alpha Blonde
LOL... I still haven't read this yet, but that was about all the synopsis I needed. Hilarious.
Pretty much anytime someone mentions this book to me they say it's dumb and they stopped reading it, and my hairdresser said she threw it into the ocean while reading it on vacation because it was so awful.
I have yet to hear anyone say they loved it... so it boggles my mind that it's become such a phenomenon with a movie deal.
Having said that - I don't think anyone would have bothered with this book if it wasn't Twilight fan-fiction originally. Anytime you write a book based on a formula with a built-in audience you're going to do well.
Pretty much anytime someone mentions this book to me they say it's dumb and they stopped reading it, and my hairdresser said she threw it into the ocean while reading it on vacation because it was so awful.
I have yet to hear anyone say they loved it... so it boggles my mind that it's become such a phenomenon with a movie deal.
Having said that - I don't think anyone would have bothered with this book if it wasn't Twilight fan-fiction originally. Anytime you write a book based on a formula with a built-in audience you're going to do well.
Active Ink Slinger
Brilliant! The review is so much better than the book!
Meanwhile, E. L. James is laughing all the way to the bank.
Meanwhile, E. L. James is laughing all the way to the bank.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Liz
Anybody else wonder what score Fifty Shades would have if submitted to Lush?
Part of me thinks it wouldn't even make it past the story verifiers
Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
CurlyFries
Quote by Java
Best review I've read about this pathetic drivel of a book. [/I]
^^This^^
Review totally made me laugh. Unsolicited, a friend dropped it off for me to read, because she thought I would love it. I did not and declined reading the sequels. I wanted to stab Anastasia in her rolling eyes about halfway through the book.
Cocolicious
LOL, I loved that review. I especially liked, "79 Motherfucking times!" I threw the book away about a quarter in, I was done.
Active Ink Slinger
50 shades actually started out as a Twilight fanfic, or so the legend goes. So perhaps that's why the protagonist is the most unimpowered woman around and the man is a monster.
Quote by Dancing_Doll
LOL... I still haven't read this yet, but that was about all the synopsis I needed. Hilarious.
Pretty much anytime someone mentions this book to me they say it's dumb and they stopped reading it, and my hairdresser said she threw it into the ocean while reading it on vacation because it was so awful.
I have yet to hear anyone say they loved it... so it boggles my mind that it's become such a phenomenon with a movie deal.
Having said that - I don't think anyone would have bothered with this book if it wasn't Twilight fan-fiction originally. Anytime you write a book based on a formula with a built-in audience you're going to do well.
Have you ever seen this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA
Active Ink Slinger
even though the pics are no longer up, that was hands down the funniest thing i have read this month. 
great find.
great find.
Quote by nicola
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215
Brilliant!
I never liked Ana (as I never liked Bella so of course i wouldn't like her more immature copy)
So I laughed my ass off the whole read - it was great.
But what she seems to have missed regarding Christian is that this is his path to becoming a more normal, balanced, respectable person. He starts out one way - and softens up . . . Anna doesn't change at all - but he changes significantly.
So the reviewer just doesn't get that's the overall point of the entire series . . . he wasn't meant to be liked - he was meant for people to *want* him to change, that shred of humanity inside is what people are supposed to like - so when he changes people are happy for him. . . now - if she gets that, she made no effort to really say so. It makes no sense to complain that much about a character - when you know they're going to change in the end.
Rookie Scribe
A badly written book by a less than articulate author which includes a great deal of “cut and paste” the so called erotica attempts to overcome the lack of plot and basic writing skills
Quote by tuballcain
A badly written book by a less than articulate author which includes a great deal of “cut and paste” the so called erotica attempts to overcome the lack of plot and basic writing skills
Yeah - it is cut and paste . . .the erotica is good, really - contrasting those scenes alone with similar ones on this site and I think she did really well.
But yeah - cut and paste is a good way to describe it. There are a lot of obnoxious sentiments from Ana like 'oh myyy' and 'on nooo' and 'holy shit' - it makes her seem like she's a 15 year old kid on the playground . . . but then she'll have moments where she has well developed thoughts that are logical and mature. . . and then the rest of the time she's a brainless idiot whose lost, flustered, and having muscles spasms ("my muscles clenched deliciously" - LOL) and a petty jealous bitch.
Poor authoring skills constitute for all the mess that is Ana's supposed thought processes - Honestly, if she abandoned the twilight parallels (since it was a fanfiction) - and improved Ana - and cut out her getting pregnant, that ridiculous scenario with her boss at work and all that - and just left it more to focus on Christian having her as at least a mature foil - it would have been a solid novel.
Oh -and the stupid sex goddess shit should have never been put in there.
"my sex goddess is sitting in a lotus position . . . my sex inner sex goddess is dancing around the room . .. my inner sex goddess eyed me surreptitiously . . . ) wtf?
But you know what - other equally crappy twilight knock offs are what made me want to become an author - I bought quite a few erotica novels/novellas via kindle that were fanfictions (apparent from reading the first few chapters) - I got so sick of the crappily written scenes and plot lines I decided I could do better. If some random idiot can write a story about a demented scientist who creates a perfect being and sends him off to school (aka - Edward Cullen via sci fi) and sell it for $4.99 and have a douche like me buy it - then I can do it to!
lol
Active Ink Slinger
Never read the book, never saw the movie, never gonna do either one!
Active Ink Slinger
I'm one of the few men that I know that has actually read the book. Just the first one, I couldn't endure more. I read it because I was so interested to see erotic reading come out of the closet and go mainstream. When people start to be honest about their desires I believe there is hope for a Utopian society after all. Now lets all get naked. 
Prolific Writer
I just skimmed the book but really loved the movie. I'm looking forward to the next part.
Xo
Xo