YET ANOTHER RANT FROM YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDE... ERR... STORY MOD!

hi. some of you know me. some of you don't. doesn't really matter either way. what does matter is that LushStories is a story site. It says so right in the name. LushSTORIES. so please, don't send in notes. don't send in lists. don't send in "letters to penthouse". they WILL be returned. send in STORIES. (I don't care how good you are, 11 words does NOT make a story - not even a micro!) and don't send in stories that have zero sex in them. or the sex is something like this. They fucked. once again, i don't care who you are - two word sex scenes are NOT erotic. IF a story takes you less than 5 minutes to write, it's probably going to be rejected. please save yourself the trouble and don't force my mods to spend more time writing a rejection note than it took you to write your damn story. it takes away from other people who are actually attempting to write stories.

thing is, i don't care if you're still learning, or if english is your second language. if you are making an attempt to write something we can publish, i am 100% behind you. if you're not, though, i'm gonna get cranky at you. you have been warned. thanks for listening.

Sprite.

You know, there are a bunch of kinky masochist fuckers on here that will love to test your consequences.

(Grabs popcorn and Diet Coke to watch )

Quote by sprite

thing is, i don't care if you're still learning, or if english is your second language. if you are making an attempt to write something we can publish, i am 100% behind you. if you're not, though, i'm gonna get cranky at you. you have been warned. thanks for listening.

Sprite.

You make me question my own sexuality when you're angry 😈

Quote by KimmiBeGood

You know, there are a bunch of kinky masochist fuckers on here that will love to test your consequences.

(Grabs popcorn and Diet Coke to watch )

Can I be first in the queue please?

Quote by sprite

They fucked.

I've literally used this exact sentence before in a story here.

So SHE is the cause of it!!

https://science.nasa.gov/red-sprite-lightning-over-kununurra

Quote by sprite
don't force my mods to spend more time writing a rejection note than it took you to write your damn story. it takes away from other people who are actually attempting to write stories.

I so agree. The quality of my rejection notes has plummeted with all the careful drafting that's going on explaining why THEY FUCKED isn't a sex scene even when capitalized and bolded.

But, asking for a friend, if zero sex were perchance to be their fetish, then surely a fetish story with zero sex would be acceptable.

Stop giggling Annie and go to bed.

So, my new one, based on Shakespeare, How Would I make Sprite Orgasm, Let Me Count the Ways, is a no-go?

fyi - i hate all of you.

mini contest idea… who can tilt sprite the most!? Maybe we should wait on a few more mod rants to get a clearer idea how to push you over the sublime edge of madness?

Quote by RowanThorn

mini contest idea… who can tilt sprite the most!? Maybe we should wait on a few more mod rants to get a clearer idea how to push you over the sublime edge of madness?

you like standing in gasoline puddles while people flick matches at you, don't you.

Quote by sprite

you like standing in gasoline puddles while people flick matches at you, don't you.

We all die sometime. Might as well go down in flames. 🔥

Quote by sprite
They fucked. once again, i don't care who you are - two word sex scenes are NOT erotic.

Uuhm, oops. Where do I line up for my spanking?

Quote by sprite

They fucked. once again, i don't care who you are - two word sex scenes are NOT erotic.

Sprite.

Oh dear, so the story that I am currently writing would get rejected by you because it contains the line:-

"Glenn monted Julie for a Saturday morning fuck when they awoke."

It is one fuck in a weekend of fucking, so maybe my story has a chance.

I had better hope that you don't review it after it is submitted, despite the nice little messaging session we had after you reviewing a recent story of mine.

edit- I might add a line or two to that segment, just in case.

Quote by PJH
"Glenn monted Julie for a Saturday morning fuck when they awoke."

Based on previous rants, I think that what sprite is complaining about is getting a short piece where that line is the only sex. If it contains a line like this but there is more graphic sex elsewhere, you're good.

Where that leaves a story like the one I have perpetually in development hell, where I am at 4000 words and still no actual sex, just some hints of attraction and arousal, I don't know. It's actually a good fantasy piece without the sex so maybe just scrap the sex and target it at blue site.

Quote by Seeker4

Based on previous rants, I think that what sprite is complaining about is getting a short piece where that line is the only sex. If it contains a line like this but there is more graphic sex elsewhere, you're good.

Where that leaves a story like the one I have perpetually in development hell, where I am at 4000 words and still no actual sex, just some hints of attraction and arousal, I don't know. It's actually a good fantasy piece without the sex so maybe just scrap the sex and target it at blue site.

Thank you. I was not being entirely serious, but I have added a couple of lines after Glenn mounted Julie, just to be safe.

I think I have got beyond 2000 words into stories before there is any sex but never 4000, in fact, few if any of my stories have reached 4000 words.

In your case, it might be a shame to ruin a very good story by adding sex!

Quote by Seeker4

Based on previous rants, I think that what sprite is complaining about is getting a short piece where that line is the only sex. If it contains a line like this but there is more graphic sex elsewhere, you're good.

Where that leaves a story like the one I have perpetually in development hell, where I am at 4000 words and still no actual sex, just some hints of attraction and arousal, I don't know. It's actually a good fantasy piece without the sex so maybe just scrap the sex and target it at blue site.

this is actually aimed at people whose entire story mirrors that... 300 words that just really don't tell a story and the sex only gets a brief mention. i don't think you have anything to worry about.

Quote by sprite

fyi - i hate all of you.

No, no you don’t.

Quote by WSCLG

No, no you don’t.

Does that include the voodoo dolls -- she's got a whole roomful.

Quote by RowanThorn

mini contest idea… who can tilt sprite the most!? Maybe we should wait on a few more mod rants to get a clearer idea how to push you over the sublime edge of madness?

Fur-tunately, I remember claw-some cat puns having cat-astrophic and purr-found effects on Sprite's e-meow-tions. If we're building a cat-abase on meowdness (come on Bard, that one was weak) cat puns probably won't send Sprite into a meowderous rampage, but pawsibly help.

Quote by sprite

fyi - i hate all of you

Is it therefore fur-tionate or cat-astrophic (come on Bard, you used those already) that probably everyone (including yours truly) on this site (or that you've encountered in general) thinks you're the best?