i have a problem my girlfriend is very new at sex so she gets sore after 20 minutes or so even if i go slow she really enjoys the sex nd the last time we fucked she had 6 orgasms but she had to stop because she got really sore nd it was hurting her so i never got to cum the longest weve ever wen was about an hour but i didnt get to cum then either i get really close but never get to finish since shes in pain is it wrong to want a blowjob or something since i go doen on her nd always make sure i give her an orgasm from that too.
You want an honest answer ask the gals on here. They will give you good advice.
Veni, vidi, vici" Julius Caesar 47 BC
well its the quality and not the quantity thats counts .. well thats my excuse anyway !!
There's no 'set' time. Sex isn't a ritual or a routine and so - given that it's a mutual thing designed to give both the maximum pleasure - I'd say for as long as it takes me to experience however many orgasms as I'm likely to have. Then in a state of euphoria and satisfaction I can enjoy the man's climax and feel everything as he ejaculates inside me.
Offhand, I'm thinking that you probably need to use more lube... that might be why she's uncomfortable after a while.
I think the important thing though is to ask or figure out why she's getting sore... is she too dry? (you needs more lube). Do you have a bigger dick and are maybe pounding her cervix too hard so she ends up sore? (you need to modify the positions you use for sex). Or is there something else going on? (might be a medical issue).
Communicate... ask... and then go from there.
If you're just doing straight-fucking for an hour, then maybe you need to vary it up more... ie. fucking in different positions with breaks in between including things like oral, foreplay, fingers, kissing, sex-toys, 69, massage, and fun stuff like edible oils/candlewax/popsicles/cream etc. I like a guy that lasts a long time, but the whole sexual experience isn't just about duration of intercourse... you'll want to mix it up, and maybe give her a few breaks as you go so it's not high-impact intensity fucking the entire time.
But yeah... she should be placing importance on getting you off as well whether that ends with a blowjob or even a handjob if she's too sore from intercourse. If she ends up just saying "I'm sore" and just abruptly wants you to stop and you have to finish off by yourself while she falls asleep, then that's not cool.
What DD said, sex isnt just about the times when your dick is inside her, its about all the foreplay, touching, kissing, oral etc. If she's feeling sore just take a break from actual penetration and concetrate on pleasuring each other in other ways
I find that I can dry up if it's a bit drafty. Outdoor fucking can make me go dry within a short period of time. If you're fucking without the blanket over you, I'd try actually having it on once and see how it goes.
If you're giving her 6 intense orgasms before you start your 20mins of in and out I think you'd be better off giving them after you've come and she might be able to go on longer, an orgasm can drain you really badly. (At least that's my experience.)
All I have to add to it, when most other things have been said.
I wouldn't want to get her too sore. There is all kinds of good stuff you can do to stretch it out and keep her excited and having as much fun as you, maybe even more. A lot of great kissing, nibbling, foreplay fingering, use the entire body for foreplay, toes need to be sucked, nipples, body caressing. massaging. By the time you've covered each other's body, there is cunnilingus and receiving felatio, anal play, a lot of wallering around all over each other. I prefer fucking last. But she might like to break that up sometimes with oral last or whahtever. Toss some fun toys in there too. Vibrators are good. Never be afraid to use lube. Surely she will tell you just when and where. Have it available. Hey and keeping some chocolate syrup and fruit on hand is always a good idea. If at some point she is getting sore, let her finish you off orally or she might like to jerk you and get it all over herself. And there is always anally, but don't let her get too sore there either.
Seems to me you need to spend some time learning more about your girlfriend's likes and wants... this isn't as simple as it sounds, many inexperienced women don't even know what they like. Best advice is to slow doit and experiment.
My wife and I are very different and actually defy common steriotypes... I like a long slow buildup and love reaching close to but not actually achieving orgasm multiple times before finally cumming. My wife loves a rough, quick experience with 2-3 orgasms followed by some cuddling and a nap. We have to really work hard to satisfy each other... but it is worth it!
Does she bruise easily? Is that the type of soreness she's experiencing?
Sometimes if my partner and I go at it too long, sometimes I'll get sore just from the position and the constant rubbing against the one place.
Take a que from the Harley Davidson commercials! It's not the destination, IT'S THE JOURNEY! Slow down and more lube!
Just sticking my nose in to say: Often girls will get sore if they're not turned on enough, and thus haven't produced enough 'natural lube', either get yourself some proper lube or work a bit harder to get her wound up and wet before sex.
Otherwise for time I find 20 - 40 minutes good, please note that that isn't including foreplay. But it all depends on the guy, how much time you have, how interesting/good the sex is, and so on. It's not as if we sit there and go 'oh for godsake, he only lasted 35 minutes and I wanted 45! Screw him!'.
I have to be honest. I thought the OP was going to say "I only last 2 minutes having sex. How long should I last??". The thread title is pretty misleading in relation to the issue at hand. If you're able to switch off til she is satisfied and not switch back on for your own finale, the issue could be you and how you feel about her. And yeah, if she does not want to finish you with a BJ, then you need to take care of that yourself...just my opinion..
Great answer from JustSara:
There's no 'set' time. Sex isn't a ritual or a routine and so - given that it's a mutual thing designed to give both the maximum pleasure - I'd say for as long as it takes me to experience however many orgasms as I'm likely to have. Then in a state of euphoria and satisfaction I can enjoy the man's climax and feel everything as he ejaculates inside me.
Mucho adds:
When it's late at night and you have to get up early the next morning, five minutes can be just right for both parties. That would depend, in part, on my partner's trigger time. Some women can cum in less than a minute; others need ten minutes or more of total concentration. When you're on vacation and trying to express your happiness and devotion to your soulmate, an hour sounds good. And then some time at the beach...and some dinner...and then another long, fine session.
My "OP" girlfriend could cum nonstop for half an hour. She would flop around the bed (or around the car) and sometimes knock is both to the floor off the side of the bed. Believe me, half an hour of riding that bucking broco was enough to exhaust me. When we finally stopped, she was ready to cry uncle, too. "OP" came from the logo on her shoes, but to us it stood for Orgasm Pig.
As long as it's mutually pleasurable. Although I have to add the codicil if he's restricting activities to just the bed, he may be a dull boy. The floor, a hammock, doorway, backyard, etc etc, the potential is almost limitless.
as long as it takes to please your partner
A guy should last until I'm done. If he does, I'll try to last until he is.
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Sometimes I stay in bed for a good 12 or 13 hours. It's bliss.
If I was in your situation, CJ, I'd probably expect a follow up handy or something, just as a little thank you for the hard work I put in. That said, I usually don't have much trouble coming (or making her come, for that matter).
Like DD says, communication is key. Get to the root of the problem.
So I guess the question I have is: what about asking why HE'S taking 20 minutes to an hour to cum?
Do you always take so long to cum? How about when you masturbate? Here here to what DD said about lube and how your needs are important, but I'm also writing wondering if you might be having some copulation issues? I doubt that's the case (and don't all the women, here envy your GF lol), but if I were your doctor, I'd want to know a bit more on you, specifically.
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I'm a loner, Dottie. A Rebel...
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What's the rush and why worry about the time?... Do it..take a break and do it again..go get a pizza watch a movie and do it again.....extra pineapple on the pizza please!
Understand your issue. Previous girlfriends I've had love going an hour or more most times; my wife, she wants to be done in 20 minutes or less and that's it for her, so I have to finish in that time if I want her involved!
Work her into it and keep up the foreplay!
The perfect love making session is 20-30 min long with 4 position changes. It doesn't have to always be the same 4...surprise me. I cum 2-3 times with the last one timed so I start to cum just at the moment he does. Then we spoon together and fall asleep.
I would suggest, if a girl has had six orgasms in a single session she's more than ready for you to cum inside her ... and prolonging it further means you outstay your welcome and no wonder she's sore. Extra lube may help. I have an unwritten law such that when I've sated my lust and had three or four good orgasms I squeeze his cock which indicates I'm ready for him to fill me with his cum.
