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Coming Out

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SadBi-Virgin
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So I just started the process of coming out today, I came out to my mother as a bisexual and found the it to be incredibly difficult and was wondering do any of you have any advice to coming out to friends, or stories about coming out or just words of comfort and support.
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i dont have any advice but i can sure wish you luck and that all who love you accept you as you are smile
mercianknight
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There's a process to coming out?

Best of luck, and, if you don't mind, let us know how it works out. As a parent myself, I've often wondered how I'd react to my child 'coming out'.
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Bunny12
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I've never really understood the whole coming out thing. Why is it anyone's business what sexual orientation you are. Just be true to yourself and be who you are and no need to volunteer that kind of information unless asked and you want to tell. As long as you're not hiding it from the people you are close to I say live and let live it's nobodies business anyway.
Bunny12


Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
myself
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Dear Bunny, what you said is right for you and me. I think it's because we are older and don't feel the need to express ourselves as a very young person might.

Dear SadBi-Virgin, It'll get easier.
Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
Bunny12
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Dear Bunny, what you said is right for you and me. I think it's because we are older and don't feel the need to express ourselves as a very young person might.

Dear SadBi-Virgin, It'll get easier.


Actually I was raised around gay and lesbian people and have always thought this way no matter what my age. Even dated a gay guy once before he figured out he was gay but I knew he was. I'm a dom hetero woman who loves gay men and their style of sex best so I ask what the hell sexual orientation is that??? I would never feel the need to explain myself to anyone and really how would I? LOL
Bunny12


Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
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I am very lucky to have a tremendously open relationship with my daughter. I have been very accepting of her choice(s). My words to her have always been, "it doesn't matter the gender or the age (ok - must be legal!) of the person you love." I hope that her partner(s) love and respect her as she deserves.

My only words of advice, from a parent who's daughter is bi, is that you (SadBi-Virgin) can't expect them (parents) to be understanding if it is something completely foreign to their world. But, gentle guidance from you can make all things easier.

You go girl .... be yourself!

Love, Van

SadBi-Virgin
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Thank you all for your kind words and please to others just coming out please come share your story.
myself
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Quote by Bunny12
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Dear Bunny, what you said is right for you and me. I think it's because we are older and don't feel the need to express ourselves as a very young person might.

Dear SadBi-Virgin, It'll get easier.


Actually I was raised around gay and lesbian people and have always thought this way no matter what my age. Even dated a gay guy once before he figured out he was gay but I knew he was. I'm a dom hetero woman who loves gay men and their style of sex best so I ask what the hell sexual orientation is that??? I would never feel the need to explain myself to anyone and really how would I? LOL


I love who you are Bunny
Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
WellMadeMale
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Quote by SadBi-Virgin
So I just started the process of coming out today, I came out to my mother as a bisexual and found the it to be incredibly difficult and was wondering do any of you have any advice to coming out to friends, or stories about coming out or just words of comfort and support.


'Baby steps, Ellie. Baby steps'
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
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I am a lesbian and when I came out of the closet to move in with a lady that i loved so much it was hell for about 6 months. I grow up in a small town and everyone knew me but had no idea that I was a lesbian. I still have people that will not talk to me that I have know all my life. I am very happy even after all of this has happened.
sprite
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Quote by Bunny12
I've never really understood the whole coming out thing. Why is it anyone's business what sexual orientation you are. Just be true to yourself and be who you are and no need to volunteer that kind of information unless asked and you want to tell. As long as you're not hiding it from the people you are close to I say live and let live it's nobodies business anyway.


Because it you get tired of having to bring your girlfriend home for the holidays and LIE about your relationship the entire time? and that's the thing, coming out often means hiding who you are from people who ARE close to you, your family. it can breed resentment. i think that most of the time, once the initial shock is over, the people who love you will accept it. Not always, sadly enough. Oh, and sometimes, you'll be pleasantly surprised! I was 'out' to my family for a while, but the best surprise ever was actually entering a serious relationship with another woman, and my dad telling me that he like HER a hell of a lot better then the guys i'd been dating. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

SweetPenny
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When I was really young, I told my mom that I thought I was a lesbian. And she just blew me off.

Then I matured, and realized that I really was sexually attracted to women. I never told my mom again though. I kind of agree with Bunny here. My sexual choices and preferences are only my business.
SadBi-Virgin
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Well for me it is more a matter of if i wanna bring a girl home for the holidays, i don't want to go through the drama at that moment, i would perfer they know that i might bring a guy home or i might bring a girl home and if i am not welcome i want to know before rather than later.
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When I told my mom I was bisexual, I was very surprised to hear her reaction, I thought for sure, she was going to blow up At me, like my friend's mom did to her when she told her mom she was bisexual, but it was nothing like that, my mom was totally cool with it. After I told her, we talked a bit, and I found out she was bisexual also. When I tell people that I am bisexual, it doesn't bother me if they accept me or not, I am who I am, and I am not going to change because someone doesn't like it.
Jessie89
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good luck with your mum. However open minded and supportive your family are, they will probably have difficult feelings to deal with too. They may need a little time to say goodbye to the old you and to get to know the new one.

And if anyone in your small town can't accept it immediately remember you will soon be off in a new city with people who won't care who you are attracted to, they'll just want to get to know the person you are.

hope it goes well.
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Quote by SadBi-Virgin
Well for me it is more a matter of if i wanna bring a girl home for the holidays, i don't want to go through the drama at that moment, i would perfer they know that i might bring a guy home or i might bring a girl home and if i am not welcome i want to know before rather than later.


That's understandable. I'm hoping for the best for you.
Nikki703
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As someone already said, That term "Coming Out" makes it sound like you have committed a crime and are being released from prison. That is so wrong!

I never told my mom I was Bi. I knew I liked girls and boys at a young age. I think my mom suspected it but she never said anything. Then she died when I was 17 so we never discussed it. But I am sure she would have been OK with it since she was very open minded regarding sex. As I think back, I sometimes wonder if she was also Bi. My dad was pretty oblivious to eveything once my mom died. But when he eventually found out, he said it was my life and just to be happy. Since that time I have never flaunted my bisexuality but never tried to hide it either. And once I was divorced, I really didnt care if anyone found out anyhow . It was none of their business. If they liked me great, if not, it was their loss. And once my daughters were old enough to understand, I told them and they were fine with it as long as I was happy. My 2 oldest daughters, 20 and 18 are also Bi. We have discussed how their friends feel about it and if they have any issues at school. They tell me that their are many girls now in their age group that are Bi. It seems to be the "Chic" thing. Not surprising since so many of the younger Hollywood celebs claim to be Bi. It seems that Bisexuality among girls is more accepted than in the past. Being a lesbian still seems to be but at least it is getting better.

Unfortunatly for guys, it is still a problem! Like that poor boy at Rutgers University.

So I hope you have sucess in telling your parents. You are their daughter and I am sure they will love you no matter what. Same with your friends. If they are true friends they wont care.

Good Luck. I hope it all works out for you. Just be who you are and be Happy!!!
standingbear
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Good for you. Real friends won't care and those who care aren't real friends.

"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
SadBi-Virgin
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Ok so i sent a group letter to several of my friends over FB and those that have replied have been very supportive.
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Quote by LittleMissBitch
i dont have any advice but i can sure wish you luck and that all who love you accept you as you are smile


I am in this same place. I would not be so bold as to suggest anything, but, I hope you all the luck and love that one can give over the net.
LullabiesForAnna
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I descovered my sexuality at an early age.
I'm nineteen now, and honestly neither one of my parents know.
I believe my father has suspicions, But he would accept me for it, I know.
I plan on coming out to him someday, when I believe it's appropriate to say.
As for my mother, she sends off mixed beliefs and feelings about homosexuality.
I don't know how she would deal with me being bisexual. It's kind of a scary thought.
But, Even if I told her, it wouldn't change our relationship. We don't get along well as it is.
I wonder when this day will come, and when it does, I'll be sure to share to you all.
As for advice, I suppose I cannot give any. At least not intil, myself, come out.
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A frienof mine got me high as fuck on crank and I just told her ,,and told her to feel free to tell everyone else so when they saw me it wouldnt freak them out,,and she told any one who would listen
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Quote by standingbear
Good for you. Real friends won't care and those who care aren't real friends.



I totally agree with this comment.

Also, I have found that with some people, what they don't know they will make up. For a lot of my life I have lived alone and for some obscure reason I have been tagged as a lesbian, just because there is no man in sight. Why do we have to pigeon hole people?

Anyway, I can see reason for coming out and good luck for the future.
sprite
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i didn't so much come out as let people figure it out on their own - unless you're totally in the closet and hiding it, most of your closer friends do, and they are always ok with it, if they aren't, they aren't truly your friends. that said, coming out to your family is scary! i think that, most parents will accept it once the shock is over, or might even already suspect it - i'm sure you already have a good idea if they are homophobic or not and you wouldn't be bringing home another girl if you thought it would lead to craziness smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Nikki703
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Quote by sprite
i didn't so much come out as let people figure it out on their own - unless you're totally in the closet and hiding it, most of your closer friends do, and they are always ok with it, if they aren't, they aren't truly your friends. that said, coming out to your family is scary! i think that, most parents will accept it once the shock is over, or might even already suspect it - i'm sure you already have a good idea if they are homophobic or not and you wouldn't be bringing home another girl if you thought it would lead to craziness smile


Seems like most parents accept their daughter, especially if she is a teen, being bisexual because they probably feel it is just an experimental or rebellious phase and eventually they will be exclusively hetero.

Like I said earlier, I really hate that term "coming out". It makes it sound like we committed a crime and are being released on parole, so wrong!!
Nikki703
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Quote by SadBi-Virgin
Ok so i sent a group letter to several of my friends over FB and those that have replied have been very supportive.


It has been well over a year since you first posted this. I would love to hear how you are doing with this. I hope you are very happy!!!
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Quote by Bunny12
I've never really understood the whole coming out thing. Why is it anyone's business what sexual orientation you are. Just be true to yourself and be who you are and no need to volunteer that kind of information unless asked and you want to tell. As long as you're not hiding it from the people you are close to I say live and let live it's nobodies business anyway.


Its not putting your sexual anything out there, its just being who you are. I never physically told anybody Im gay, but I was finally open with myself and my life, I cut my hair short, I started wearing clothes I felt more comfortable in... things like that.
Also certain people in your life you HAVE to tell like your parents, so when they see you with the same sex partner it doesn't shock them, its not as uncomfortable for you, it doesn't start a fight, there are so many things that straight people don't understand, even if they have been around gays their whole lives, you can't know unless your in it.