Quote by browncoffee
Well since you asked you're not allowed to judge me or deem me pretentious though you'll probably do both but just don't tell me and it will be fine. You have to be utterly disgustingly pretentious like me and pretend you think I'm not pretentious and shower me with compliments regarding my intelligence and beauty and all that stuff to fill my empty soul, okay?
Ökay.
So the thing was that before I wrote this story I wrote a poem. And I didn't love it enough to post it but there were some lines in it that I was absurdly proud of and it seemed a shame for them to go to waste so in some parts of this story, I made sentences rhyme. I meant to add in more rhymes while I was editing but I got too sick of the story and abandoned it so there weren't many but I was still quite surprised that no-one seemed to notice. Since you've already read it, I'll post some of the lines referred to here:
The lights were too bright, the crowds too loud.
My hand moved faster, spurred on by the blurred displays of obscenity.
...because I always laughed too hard or said something off kilter, talking too fast to filter the words.
Sitting on the balcony, legs dangling, his cigarette angling to the sky, his laugh strangling the darkness until light overflowed and made me feel like every dream I’d ever had glowed on the brink of reality.
Winter came, Christmas bringing listless lingering in the warm glitter of department stores.
Soooo. There were more but you'd have to go back and find them and I'm sure you've better things to do such as GETTING YOUR COMP ENTRY DONE.
Laters, fam.
I'd noticed this while reading. I thought it was clever.
You are not pretentious, that is sort of the opposite of pretentious, having these hidden layers and tics in your story but not highlighting them (unless of course asked by your loyal readers). I love hearing about stuff like this. A great story, but I totally missed this little detail.
