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What are people's opinions here on losing your virginity to an escort? (and has anyone done it?)

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Starlust
Active Ink Slinger
I'm over 30 and have never done the deed.....thanks to Asperger's, depression and having average looks/body I find it tough to engage women in a romantic way. Added to that, neither my work, hobbies or (very limited) friend circle bring me anywhere where I can meet girls easily. So yeah, I'm thinking the only way I won't die a virgin is to go the commercial route.....It looks like most people here have no problem getting sex wherever for free but has anyone done the same? Thanks.
Ls63563
Active Ink Slinger
I'm going to jump in here with both feet and say go for it. I know the pressure of doing it for the first time can be a great big deal. You may find that once that pressure is gone, friends and relationships will come easier. People often build a lot of walls for themselves that others dont see. Maybe consider an escort as a life coach for future events... President Trump hired Stormy Daniels,remember. Not his only professional I would guess.
rafael
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by Starlust
I'm over 30 and have never done the deed.....thanks to Asperger's, depression and having average looks/body I find it tough to engage women in a romantic way. Added to that, neither my work, hobbies or (very limited) friend circle bring me anywhere where I can meet girls easily. So yeah, I'm thinking the only way I won't die a virgin is to go the commercial route.....It looks like most people here have no problem getting sex wherever for free but has anyone done the same? Thanks.


hello Starlust and I am sorry that you are facing this situation and by the way many of us here cannot get sex on demand - if we could - we would be too busy fucking to write stories.

I used a hooker to lose mine - though I was much younger - 19. I subsequently had relationships with women and came to regret what I did.

However - at 30 - if it hasn't happened by now it possibly never will unless you are exceptionally lucky.

Later in my life - I used the services of prostitutes and found most of them very pleasant indeed - keen to please.

So I would say yes - why not. You will need to shop around a bit and find someone who is easy to communicate with and knows your situation. Try adultwork and study the reviews and feedback. I would not book more than 1 hour - what you want to do probably wont take more than 5 minutes so really over 1 hour is not necessary.

Be warned though - if you have had no intimacy so far you may find close physical contact does nothing for you. You might freeze up - it's possible. But you wont know until you try.

Good luck and if you need any further advice let me know.
noll
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
Quote by Starlust
I'm over 30 and have never done the deed.....thanks to Asperger's, depression and having average looks/body I find it tough to engage women in a romantic way. Added to that, neither my work, hobbies or (very limited) friend circle bring me anywhere where I can meet girls easily. So yeah, I'm thinking the only way I won't die a virgin is to go the commercial route.....It looks like most people here have no problem getting sex wherever for free but has anyone done the same? Thanks.


I'd say that while average looks may not bring any advantage it should not be an issue either. The thing with average looks is that most people have them ;)

I can imagine that it may be easier to interact with women who have Asperger's too (correct me if I'm wrong) and perhaps there are groups/meetups for people with Asperger's or related issues in your region where some of these issues, that you feel are making it tough to engage women, may actually be something you share with some of the women there. There are more men then women with Asperger's of course, but perhaps it can work. Just a thought.

If being a virgin itself becomes part of either the depression or the fear of engaging women then an escort service might indeed be a good option to 'free' yourself from your virginity. But I guess it can only bring you some familiarity with the mechanics of it all, not the romantic aspect. But then again, perhaps that may enough for some boost in self esteem needed to engage women.

Good luck!


===  Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER  ===
rafael
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by noll


I'd say that while average looks may not bring any advantage it should not be an issue either. The thing with average looks is that most people have them ;)

I can imagine that it may be easier to interact with women who have Asperger's too (correct me if I'm wrong) and perhaps there are groups/meetups for people with Asperger's or related issues in your region where some of these issues, that you feel are making it tough to engage women, may actually be something you share with some of the women there. There are more men then women with Asperger's of course, but perhaps it can work. Just a thought.

If being a virgin itself becomes part of either the depression or the fear of engaging women then an escort service might indeed be a good option to 'free' yourself from your virginity. But I guess it can only bring you some familiarity with the mechanics of it all, not the romantic aspect. But then again, perhaps that may enough for some boost in self esteem needed to engage women.

Good luck!


I think this is not a good enough reason to lose your virginity to an escort. I cant talk for others but I never found a boost in self esteem resulted from seeing escorts. It may actually have the opposite effect as deep inside one may find it quite degrading to have to resort to prostitution. Reading the experiences of others who have lost their virginity this way - the vast majority were disappointed in the experience. Not surprising - as sexual desire is something that flowers at its best between lovers and paying for it kind of dampens the chemistry - particularly between strangers.
noll
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
Quote by rafael


I think this is not a good enough reason to lose your virginity to an escort. I cant talk for others but I never found a boost in self esteem resulted from seeing escorts. It may actually have the opposite effect as deep inside one may find it quite degrading to have to resort to prostitution. Reading the experiences of others who have lost their virginity this way - the vast majority were disappointed in the experience. Not surprising - as sexual desire is something that flowers at its best between lovers and paying for it kind of dampens the chemistry - particularly between strangers.


I was only referring to self esteem in the sense that one might feel less insecure about the mechanics, not how one values using an escort service. If one feels insecure about the purely physical part, then some practice might relieve them from that.


===  Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER  ===
rafael
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by noll


I was only referring to self esteem in the sense that one might feel less insecure about the mechanics, not how one values using an escort service. If one feels insecure about the purely physical part, then some practice might relieve them from that.


I see what you mean. But to be honest - it's not going to be of much benefit to someone who cant even get a date with a woman. It may actually have the reverse effect - particularly if you struggle, for example, to get an erection - which can easily happen with virgins who go to escorts. But hey - if you fuck like a champion then yes - it will do your confidence some good.
Unknown User
Quote by Starlust
I'm over 30 and have never done the deed.....thanks to Asperger's, depression and having average looks/body I find it tough to engage women in a romantic way. Added to that, neither my work, hobbies or (very limited) friend circle bring me anywhere where I can meet girls easily. So yeah, I'm thinking the only way I won't die a virgin is to go the commercial route.....It looks like most people here have no problem getting sex wherever for free but has anyone done the same? Thanks.


I didn't lose my v that way, but I used escorts much later in life as a substitute for having an affair (the cost works out about the same, if not a bit cheaper with the escort). I'm not sure it would really have worked for me earlier but who knows.

Advice from someone who has been in "the hobby":

Look around and see if you can find a local discussion board on the subject. We have a great one in my city and I know of a couple that cover other cities in my area. It helped me both to get good advice from local escorts and clients and to find attractive, well-regarded escorts to see. Having some guidance from "experts" is a great help.

Make sure the escort knows your situation, esp. that it's a first time. A good one (which goes back to my first point) will work hard to put you at ease and make it a pleasant experience.

Be careful. If an escort ad looks too good to be true, it probably is. Figure out what the normal hourly rate is in your area (it's CAD$200-300 around here) and be suspicious of anyone who is far below it. You often get what you pay for in the hobby. If the woman at the door doesn't match the pics in the ad, don't be afraid to walk away. And, again, find someone who knows the scene or a local discussion board about escorts and check reviews for anyone you decide to see.

It can be very fun and I still contemplate doing it again, but it takes a bit of work, too, if you want it to work well for you.
Starlust
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by rafael


I see what you mean. But to be honest - it's not going to be of much benefit to someone who cant even get a date with a woman. It may actually have the reverse effect - particularly if you struggle, for example, to get an erection - which can easily happen with virgins who go to escorts. But hey - if you fuck like a champion then yes - it will do your confidence some good.


Well, here's the 3 main benefits I think I'd get from the experience:

1. It would de-mystify sex for me
2. It would get the "monkey off my back" so I wouldn't feel branded as a virgin anymore
3. It would fulfill my fantasy of doing it with a beautiful woman

I'm certain not working under the illusion that it'll make me suddenly confident with girls or anything, I know it's not a magic bullet....but in short getting the whole "virgin!!11" thing out the way might help things?

Thanks for your answers so far!
rafael
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by Starlust


Well, here's the 3 main benefits I think I'd get from the experience:

1. It would de-mystify sex for me
2. It would get the "monkey off my back" so I wouldn't feel branded as a virgin anymore
3. It would fulfill my fantasy of doing it with a beautiful woman

I'm certain not working under the illusion that it'll make me suddenly confident with girls or anything, I know it's not a magic bullet....but in short getting the whole "virgin!!11" thing out the way might help things?

Thanks for your answers so far!


You've got nothing much to lose - except perhaps at the moment you have the illusion that sex may be a magical thing and you can at least feed on the fanstasy. It's never that with an escort but I do hope it's a worthwhile experience for you.
noll
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
Quote by rafael


I see what you mean. But to be honest - it's not going to be of much benefit to someone who cant even get a date with a woman. It may actually have the reverse effect - particularly if you struggle, for example, to get an erection - which can easily happen with virgins who go to escorts. But hey - if you fuck like a champion then yes - it will do your confidence some good.


You might be right. I have no experience with escorts.


===  Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER  ===
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
I did not lose my virginity to an escort but to be honest, it's a pretty good way to lose it for young men. Most young men tend to lose their virginity to their first girlfriend so they have her bouncing around in their heads for quite a while afterwards because they probably loved her or thought they did. But with an escort they can kind of just get it out of the way. It's like the first time you get seriously hung over. It's like, "ohhhh that's what drinking too much is like". Young men can be like, "oh okay, pussy is cool, it's not smelly like I was led to believe. Titties are pretty neat. Ass, wow never thought about really spreading some cheeks but that was pretty awesome. Overall sex with this escort was eyeopening, 8 out of 10."

Plus giving an escort a couple bills is really helping out a single mother, I mean let's be real. So that's a good thing really.

In conclusion, I believe all young men should lose their virginity to a mid level escort. A 200 dollar an hour one. You don't want your first one to be too good... You got to Goldilocks that shit.
rafael
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by Magical_felix
I did not lose my virginity to an escort but to be honest, it's a pretty good way to lose it for young men. Most young men tend to lose their virginity to their first girlfriend so they have her bouncing around in their heads for quite a while afterwards because they probably loved her or thought they did. But with an escort they can kind of just get it out of the way. It's like the first time you get seriously hung over. It's like, "ohhhh that's what drinking too much is like". Young men can be like, "oh okay, pussy is cool, it's not smelly like I was led to believe. Titties are pretty neat. Ass, wow never thought about really spreading some cheeks but that was pretty awesome. Overall sex with this escort was eyeopening, 8 out of 10."

Plus giving an escort a couple bills is really helping out a single mother, I mean let's be real. So that's a good thing really.

In conclusion, I believe all young men should lose their virginity to a mid level escort. A 200 dollar an hour one. You don't want your first one to be too good... You got to Goldilocks that shit.


I cant with what you are saying. What's wrong with being crazy about the girl you lose your virginity to? Sounds wonderful to me.

I cant imagine that many men who lost it to someone they loved would agree with you.

men who do lose it to escorts tend to be those who cant get laid any other way so it's not really a choice as such.
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by rafael


I cant with what you are saying. What's wrong with being crazy about the girl you lose your virginity to? Sounds wonderful to me.

I cant imagine that many men who lost it to someone they loved would agree with you.

men who do lose it to escorts tend to be those who cant get laid any other way so it's not really a choice as such.


You don't support single mothers? Wow, cold.

Look, I lost my virginity at 17, and she was 17... Did I know what I actually wanted at 17? no... I was a fucking moron back then and she thought I was smartest ever........ What does that tell you? How many people out there have friends that married their high-school sweethearts? Those people are miserable. You do not know of what you speak rafaell.
rafael
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by Magical_felix


You don't support single mothers? Wow, cold.

Look, I lost my virginity at 17, and she was 17... Did I know what I actually wanted at 17? no... I was a fucking moron back then and she thought I was smartest ever........ What does that tell you? How many people out there have friends that married their high-school sweethearts? Those people are miserable. You do not know of what you speak rafaell.


I dont personally support single mothers no - I have enough trouble paying my own bills.

As for your suggestion that virgins should have their first time with a single mother escort to do a good deed for society - do you happen to have a directory of single mother escorts? I have seen escorts and they rarely share their personal family situation with clients. If i was a young man looking to lose my virginity to an escort - whether she is a single mother or not would be no more important than if I was trying to find a hairdresser. What would interest me is how good she is at her job.

Marriages can go bad regardless of whether you married your childhood sweetheart or not.

People who lose their virginity to a childhood sweetheart do not always go on to marry that person. Probably just a small percent of cases.

I think there was a thread here on Lush a while back - how did you lose your virginity? I recall it well. Nearly all who said they lost it to a gf/bf seemed quite happy. Those like me who went to a whore were less so.
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by rafael


I dont personally support single mothers no - I have enough trouble paying my own bills.

If i was a young man looking to lose my virginity to an escort - whether she is a single mother or not would be no more important than if I was trying to find a hairdresser. What would interest me is how good she is at her job.



Cold-blooded
PrincessC
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by rafael


I think this is not a good enough reason to lose your virginity to an escort. I cant talk for others but I never found a boost in self esteem resulted from seeing escorts. It may actually have the opposite effect as deep inside one may find it quite degrading to have to resort to prostitution. Reading the experiences of others who have lost their virginity this way - the vast majority were disappointed in the experience. Not surprising - as sexual desire is something that flowers at its best between lovers and paying for it kind of dampens the chemistry - particularly between strangers.


Have you been with an escort?
"A dirty book is rarely dusty"
rafael
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by PrincessC


Have you been with an escort?


Yes many - and I have written a story based on a true encounter and you can read it on Lush.
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by PrincessC


Have you been with an escort?


He actually stated he lost his virginity to a "whore" so he's a bit triggered by this line of questioning.
Buz
The Linebacker
From what I've read, it used to be quite common in western culture and others for young men to lose their virginity to professional women at bordellos. I don't see anything wrong with you doing it.

Be careful though. Stupidly, it is against the law. The TV news regularly shows the police using undercover police women in stings to arrest 'johns'.

I don't know any advice to tell you about making arrangements with an escort.
Guest
Lurker
Rafael, I am recently a single Mom, you are not paying my bills. I probably have a better job than you. So stop stereotyping butt head
Now to the question.........I would never use a male escort but I can see the advantage to it. He would more likely to make it a positive experience than some horny school boy who prematurely ejaculated. That was my experience, in and out and left me with a mess.
anon47
Advanced Wordsmith
Aspergers is still a bit of a bummer in Western Societies, who are basically excellent at things sexy people are less good at but struggle with the things sexy people excel at. They are discriminated against as a result, not legally but in practical terms.

I cannot conceive of a worse way to meet women than getting drunk at the pub and having one hundred decibel noise blaring out in a disco, but that is what UK society suggested growing up. I did rather better leading women on a ski slope with a smart jacket on....it guaranteed one common interest and as I was good at it, confident in resort, it made me relaxed and attractive for some reason or other.

I personally do not see why bartering sex is honourable but paying cash is disgraceful. We buy food to eat in cash, we do not fill shelves at Tesco for five hours in exchange for a weeks food, after all. So you should have no issues with societal hang ups, for that is what they are. After all, if you give an escort two hundred, she gets to choose what to spend it on. You buy her supper, she puts out for a romantic meal. Less empowering....

Go for it, but remember that if you do date normal woman afterwards, do not expect them to be as professional without practice!
Ls63563
Active Ink Slinger
Way too much thought going into this! Sex is a feeling thing, not a thinking thing. Find an escort you like, tell her the situation, see where that leads. Or sit home and do nothing.
PrincessC
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by rafael


Yes many - and I have written a story based on a true encounter and you can read it on Lush.


If it’s so bad why have you been with many?
"A dirty book is rarely dusty"
rafael
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by PrincessC


If it’s so bad why have you been with many?




As an experienced married man - I have seen quite a few and had a great time.

A young inexperienced virgin is unlikely to have a great experience. I've heard of virgins who come when the escort puts on the condom - and there are those who are so nervous they cant get an erection.

Starlust may not be one of these - I hope not for his sake.
rafael
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by singlemomemily
Rafael, I am recently a single Mom, you are not paying my bills. I probably have a better job than you. So stop stereotyping butt head
Now to the question.........I would never use a male escort but I can see the advantage to it. He would more likely to make it a positive experience than some horny school boy who prematurely ejaculated. That was my experience, in and out and left me with a mess.


what are you talking about?

I never even brought up the topic of single mums. Magical _Felix said

Plus giving an escort a couple bills is really helping out a single mother, I mean let's be real. So that's a good thing really.

I ignored this as I thought it absurd. And when I said seeing an escort as a virgin might not be the best option he replied

You don't support single mothers? Wow, cold.

See how he implies that singles mothers are necessarily escorts and needs supporting.

I replied: "I dont personally support single mothers no - I have enough trouble paying my own bills"

I also said:

If i was a young man looking to lose my virginity to an escort - whether she is a single mother or not would be no more important than if I was trying to find a hairdresser. What would interest me is how good she is at her job.

Who brought up single mothers in connection with escorting? Who implied they need financial support?

Not me
rafael
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by rafael
Unknown User
Quote by Buz

Be careful though. Stupidly, it is against the law. The TV news regularly shows the police using undercover police women in stings to arrest 'johns'.


Which is why I recommended finding an online community dedicated to it. They'll know the local law, how to work with/around that law, and which women are "safe" in the area. It is technically illegal to buy sex up here, too, but the good independent escorts who work out of a private location and don't explicitly advertise sexual services (you have to be a bit cagey with language up here) are often ignored or even helped by the cops, who prefer to focus on trafficked women and street girls.