Its probably the question weighing on the mind of every person that begins to pass from the initial stages of a relationship to the stage when they begin to see their partner as a potential long term.
How many people have you had sex with? Or "what's your number?" as many of the members of my generation tend to phrase it.
In my younger years I would ponder this question, all the while hoping secretly that the number was low. Then probing and probing until she finally told me, usually leading to a disapointing answer, followed by a period of un-called-for sulking and envious inadequacy.
Nowadays, I still ask the question, more to gauge the girl's sexual experience than out of feelings of inadequacy. Most women seem to hate answering it (probably in fear of having her guy think less of her).
So...should this be something that should be discussed? Or should you let the past remain in the past?
Do you like to know? Or would you rather remain in the dark?
Are you up-front and truthful? Or do you tend to "embelish" in order to make your number smaller or larger?
Does the answer affect how you think about your partner?
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The "Number"
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Active Ink Slinger
Potential 
topic lol.
Damon, you should've given us your number to show some goodwill instead of just stirring up the poor lush community.
I think everyone can relate to feeling insecure when first starting out as a dating/sexually active person. If you're a competitive person I guess you will always be intrigued by the number of each of your conquests as well as make serious attempts to obtain Hall Of Fame glory.
I think it's important to talk about if you're indeed going for a long-term relationship with someone. No need to force your partner to cough up "the number" but curiosity usually will make either one of you pop the question at some point anyway.
I don't think a difference, no matter how vast, would be a deal breaker for me. Of course I might have to let the dust settle first if the difference would be exponential lol. But in the end it's just a number.
I also think American women might have more resistance to answering this question then European women. I definitely noticed women having more traditional views on sex and relationships during my time in the US.
Concerning my own number: always been truthful and upfront about it. Never felt the need to embellish it since I never really cared about obtaining a high number.
So it's no surprise that my number is low.
topic lol.Damon, you should've given us your number to show some goodwill instead of just stirring up the poor lush community.
I think everyone can relate to feeling insecure when first starting out as a dating/sexually active person. If you're a competitive person I guess you will always be intrigued by the number of each of your conquests as well as make serious attempts to obtain Hall Of Fame glory.
I think it's important to talk about if you're indeed going for a long-term relationship with someone. No need to force your partner to cough up "the number" but curiosity usually will make either one of you pop the question at some point anyway.
I don't think a difference, no matter how vast, would be a deal breaker for me. Of course I might have to let the dust settle first if the difference would be exponential lol. But in the end it's just a number.
I also think American women might have more resistance to answering this question then European women. I definitely noticed women having more traditional views on sex and relationships during my time in the US.
Concerning my own number: always been truthful and upfront about it. Never felt the need to embellish it since I never really cared about obtaining a high number.
So it's no surprise that my number is low.
Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
Alpha Blonde
I think as a woman's number gets higher, she starts to 'black out' certain experiences in her own mind to keep her number lower and see what she can avoid counting as something that increases her number (ie. Clinton's "I did not have sex with that woman" philosophy). And, even on a personal level, in so far as being bisexual, I don't even count female sex partners (those are freebies to me! LOL).
I think in the end, for those who keep track, you just end up with women lying to keep her numbers low, and men inflating to make themselves look like a stud. I'm not sure how meaningful these numbers end up being after the official stats have been rearranged.
Even among my female friends who have nothing to hide from me, many of them don't really count new partners anymore, they just have a broader range ie. under 20, under 50, over 50, or over 100.
I'm not even sure what's considered 'low mileage' vs 'high mileage' anymore...
I used to ask in my younger years (and no guy would ever agree to tell me once they hit their university years).
I'm not so concerned about numbers (provided they've led a 'safe sex' kind of lifestyle), but I do like hearing about sexual adventures and crazy sex stories from my partner's past because I find it hot to listen to those 'tales from the vault'... Quality over quantity has always been what's interested me. And that philosophy can be applied to my own 'number' as well.
I think in the end, for those who keep track, you just end up with women lying to keep her numbers low, and men inflating to make themselves look like a stud. I'm not sure how meaningful these numbers end up being after the official stats have been rearranged.
Even among my female friends who have nothing to hide from me, many of them don't really count new partners anymore, they just have a broader range ie. under 20, under 50, over 50, or over 100.
I'm not even sure what's considered 'low mileage' vs 'high mileage' anymore...
I used to ask in my younger years (and no guy would ever agree to tell me once they hit their university years).
I'm not so concerned about numbers (provided they've led a 'safe sex' kind of lifestyle), but I do like hearing about sexual adventures and crazy sex stories from my partner's past because I find it hot to listen to those 'tales from the vault'... Quality over quantity has always been what's interested me. And that philosophy can be applied to my own 'number' as well.
Active Ink Slinger
I'm gonna go with the "Don't ask, don't tell" attitude on this one.
First off, any number from zero to gazillion is irrelevant!
Secondly, ditto the first.....
First off, any number from zero to gazillion is irrelevant!
Secondly, ditto the first.....
Artistic Tart
That's a question that I never really want to answer if they ask it a certain way that gives away that they care about the answer.- But if I don't really care what they think I'll tell them anyway, or if the guy is obviously just curious and I don't think he's counting on me to be a virgin or something, lol.
Constant Gardener
I've been with three.
My, myself and I.
My, myself and I.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Constant Gardener
Quote by gypsymothQuote by WellMadeMale
I've been with three.
My, myself and I.
That's group sex, isn't it? Rosie Palm and her five daughters?
With Dawn, Ivory and Calgony.
The 3 sisters of lube.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Active Ink Slinger
I think the kind of morbid curiousity that causes someone to ask their new love/lust intrest how may people they have fucked is tantamount to a disaster film. No good will come of it. Especially if it is the guy asking, because w usually ask for all the wrong reasons. Guys .... DON'T DO IT. You like each other or you dont, as for the rest, all I can say is "bygones".
Its only kinky the first time.
Active Ink Slinger
This question immediately reminded me of the movie Clerks.....this scene in particular.....
DANTE
These are my opinions based on my
experiences with the few women who
were good enough to sleep with me.
VERONICA
How many?
DANTE
How many what?
VERONICA
How many girls have you slept with?
DANTE
How many different girls? Didn't we
already have this discussion once?
VERONICA
We might have; I don't remember.
How many?
DANTE
Including you?
VERONICA
It better be up to and including me.
DANTE
(pause to count)
Twelve.
VERONICA
You've slept with twelve different
girls?
DANTE
Including you; yes.
Pause. She slaps him.
DANTE
What the hell was that for?
VERONICA
You're a pig.
DANTE
Why'd you hit me?
VERONICA
Do you know how many different men
I've had sex with?
DANTE
Do I get to hit you after you tell
me?
VERONICA
Three.
DANTE
Three?
VERONICA
Three including you.
DANTE
You've only had sex with three
different people?
VERONICA
I'm not the pig you are.
DANTE
Who?
VERONICA
You!
DANTE
No; who were the three, besides me?
VERONICA
John Franson and Rob Stanslyk.
DANTE
(with true admiration)
Wow. That's great. That's something
to be proud of.
VERONICA
I am. And that's why you should
feel like a pig. You men make me
sick. You'll sleep with anything
that says yes.
DANTE
Animal, vegetable, or mineral.
VERONICA
Vegetable meaning paraplegic.
DANTE
They put up the least amount of
struggle.
VERONICA
After dropping a bombshell like
that, you owe me. Big.
DANTE
All right. Name it.
VERONICA
I want you to come with me on Monday.
DANTE
Where?
VERONICA
To school. There's a seminar about
getting back into a scholastic
program after a lapse in enrollment.
DANTE
Can't we ever have a discussion
without that coming up?
VERONICA
It's important to me, Dante. You
have so much potential that just
goes to waste in this pit. I wish
you'd go back to school.
DANTE
Jesus, would you stop? You make my
head hurt when you talk about this.
VERONICA stands, letting DANTE'S head hit the floor.
DANTE
Shit! Why are we getting up?
VERONICA
Unlike you, I have a class in
forty-five minutes.
A handsome young man (WILLAM) is standing at the counter.
VERONICA reacts to him.
VERONICA
(surprised)
Willam!
WILLAM
Ronnie! How are you? You work here
now?
VERONICA
(locks arms with DANTE)
No, I'm just visiting my man.
(to DANTE)
Dante, this is Willam Black.
(to WILLAM)
This is Dante Hicks, my boyfriend.
DANTE
How are you? Just the soda?
WILLAM
And a pack of cigarettes.
(to VERONICA; paying)
Are you still going to Seton Hall?
VERONICA
No, I transferred into Monmouth
this year. I was tired of missing
him.
(squeezes DANTE'S arm)
WILLAM
Do you still talk to Sylvan?
VERONICA
I just talked to her on Monday. We
still hang out on weekends.
WILLAM
(leaving)
That's cool. Well-you two lovebirds
take it easy, all right?
VERONICA
I will. Take it easy.
WILLAM
Bye.
(exits)
VERONICA
Bye
(to DANTE)
That was Snowball.
DANTE
Why do you call him that?
VERONICA
Sylvan made it up. It's a blow job
thing.
DANTE
What do you mean?
VERONICA
After he gets a blow job, he likes
to have the cum spit back into his
mouth while kissing. It's called
snowballing.
DANTE
He requested this?
VERONICA
He gets off on it.
DANTE
Sylvan can be talked into anything.
VERONICA
Why do you say that?
DANTE
Like you said-she snowballed him.
VERONICA
Sylvan? No; I snowballed him.
DANTE
Yeah, right.
VERONICA
I'm serious...
A moment of silence as DANTE'S chuckles fade to comprehension.
DANTE
You sucked that guy's dick?
VERONICA
Yeah. How do you think I know he
liked...
DANTE
(panicky)
But...but you said you only had sex
with three guys! You never mentioned
him!
VERONICA
That's because I never had sex with
him!
DANTE
You sucked his dick!
VERONICA
We went out a few times. We didn't
have sex, but we fooled around.
DANTE
(massive panic attack)
Oh my God! Why did you tell me you
only slept with three guys?
VERONICA
Because I did only sleep with three
guys! That doesn't mean I didn't
just go with people.
DANTE
Oh my God-I feel so nauseous...
VERONICA
I'm sorry, Dante. I thought you
understood.
DANTE
I did understand! I understand that
you slept with three different
guys, and that's all you said.
VERONICA
Please calm down.
DANTE
How many?
VERONICA
Dante...
DANTE
How many dicks have you sucked?!
VERONICA
Let it go...
DANTE
HOW MANY?
VERONICA
All right! Shut up a second and
I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't
freak like this when you told me
how many girls you fucked.
DANTE
This is different. This is important.
How many?!
She counts silently, using fingers as marks. DANTE waits on
a customer in the interim. VERONICA stops counting.
DANTE
Well...?
VERONICA
(half-mumbled)
Something like thirty-six.
DANTE
WHAT? SOMETHING LIKE THIRTY-SIX?
VERONICA
Lower your voice!
DANTE
What the hell is that anyway,
"something like thirty-six?" Does
that include me?
VERONICA
Um. Thirty-seven.
DANTE
I'M THIRTY-SEVEN?
VERONICA
(walking away)
I'm going to class.
DANTE
Thirty-seven?!
(to CUSTOMER)
My girlfriend sucked thirty-seven
dicks!
CUSTOMER
In a row?
DANTE chases VERONICA down and grabs her by the door.
DANTE
Hey! Where are you going?!
VERONICA
Hey listen, jerk! Until today you
never even knew how many guys I'd
slept with, because you never even
asked. And then you act all
nonchalant about fucking twelve
different girls. Well, I never had
sex with twelve different guys!
DANTE
No, but you sucked enough dick!
VERONICA
Yeah, I went down on a few guys...
DANTE
A few?
VERONICA
...And one of those guys was you!
The last one, I might add, which-if
you're too stupid to comprehend-
means that I've been faithful to
you since we met! All the other
guys I went with before I met you,
so, if you want to have a complex
about it, go ahead! But don't look
at me like I'm the town whore,
because you were plenty busy
yourself, before you met me!
DANTE
(a bit more rational)
Well...why did you have to suck
their dicks? Why didn't you just
sleep with them, like any decent
person?!
VERONICA
Because going down it's a big deal!
I used to like a guy, we'd make
out, and sooner or later I'd go
down on him. But I only had sex
with the guys I loved.
DANTE
I feel sick.
VERONICA
(holds him)
I love you. Don't feel sick.
DANTE
Every time I kiss you now I'm going
to taste thirty-six other guys.
VERONICA violently lets go of him.
VERONICA
I'm going to school. Maybe later
you'll be a bit more rational.
DANTE
(pause)
Thirty-seven. I just can't...
VERONICA
Goodbye, Dante.
She exits in a huff. DANTE stands there in silence for a
moment. Then he swings the door open and yells out.
DANTE
Try not to suck any more dicks on
your way through the parking lot!
Two men who were walking in the opposite direction outside
double back and head in the direction. VERONICA went.
DANTE
HEY! HEY, YOU! GET BACK HERE!
"Nos laetus epulor qui would domito nos. (We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.)"
"Nil satis nisi optimum. (Nothing but the best will do.)"
"I hate it when things don't go my way. It makes me so...horny." - Sarah Michelle Gellar (Kathryn, Cruel Intentions)
"Sex is just alone time with someone else there." - Taint on The Lex And Terry Show, 11/11/09
"Stupidity isn't a crime, so you're free to go."
"I am The Devil, too. There can only be one devil. One of us must go." - Ozzy Osbourne at the end of his cover of "Sympathy For The Devil"
"Your ego is not your amigo." - Nikki Sixx, The Heroin Diaries
"It's my world. I'm just letting you live here." - Mandy, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy
"Nil satis nisi optimum. (Nothing but the best will do.)"
"I hate it when things don't go my way. It makes me so...horny." - Sarah Michelle Gellar (Kathryn, Cruel Intentions)
"Sex is just alone time with someone else there." - Taint on The Lex And Terry Show, 11/11/09
"Stupidity isn't a crime, so you're free to go."
"I am The Devil, too. There can only be one devil. One of us must go." - Ozzy Osbourne at the end of his cover of "Sympathy For The Devil"
"Your ego is not your amigo." - Nikki Sixx, The Heroin Diaries
"It's my world. I'm just letting you live here." - Mandy, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy
thanks for the chuckle babes
Active Ink Slinger
This question immediately reminded me of the movie Clerks.....this scene in particular.....
That was so funny!
That was so funny!
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by DamonXQuote by INNOCENTMISERY
This question immediately reminded me of the movie Clerks.....this scene in particular.....
I was actually thinking about the exact same thing when I made this thread.
"You've sucked thirty six dicks!?"
One of my favorite movies of all-time. That movie has actually helped me through quite a lot since I first saw it back in 1995.
"Nos laetus epulor qui would domito nos. (We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.)"
"Nil satis nisi optimum. (Nothing but the best will do.)"
"I hate it when things don't go my way. It makes me so...horny." - Sarah Michelle Gellar (Kathryn, Cruel Intentions)
"Sex is just alone time with someone else there." - Taint on The Lex And Terry Show, 11/11/09
"Stupidity isn't a crime, so you're free to go."
"I am The Devil, too. There can only be one devil. One of us must go." - Ozzy Osbourne at the end of his cover of "Sympathy For The Devil"
"Your ego is not your amigo." - Nikki Sixx, The Heroin Diaries
"It's my world. I'm just letting you live here." - Mandy, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy
"Nil satis nisi optimum. (Nothing but the best will do.)"
"I hate it when things don't go my way. It makes me so...horny." - Sarah Michelle Gellar (Kathryn, Cruel Intentions)
"Sex is just alone time with someone else there." - Taint on The Lex And Terry Show, 11/11/09
"Stupidity isn't a crime, so you're free to go."
"I am The Devil, too. There can only be one devil. One of us must go." - Ozzy Osbourne at the end of his cover of "Sympathy For The Devil"
"Your ego is not your amigo." - Nikki Sixx, The Heroin Diaries
"It's my world. I'm just letting you live here." - Mandy, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy
If any girl out there is brave enough to ask me, I'll be glad to tell her. Unless the only way I succeed is by lying and giving her a lower number. I've done that too, but the bottom line is: ladies, if you can't handle the heat, don't ask to see the furnace. If you don't want to hear a high number, don't ask to hear it.
Alpha Blonde
Quote by DamonX
As an addendum for the females:
If you were to ask your guy about his number....Would you be hoping it was low? High? or about equal to yours?
The number doesn't really matter to me. I don't ask, and no one has ever freely volunteered. I'm sure most would be higher than mine, and I guess I would prefer imagining him still within the double digits. But there is no number that would be a deal breaker for me.
Quote by DamonX
As an addendum for the females:
If you were to ask your guy about his number....Would you be hoping it was low? High? or about equal to yours?
As a general rule I never ask a guy how many women he has had. If he tells me out of his own, I appreciate the honesty, if it was really high I would probably have a reaction like 'oh, wow, didnt expect that'. I wouldn't be angry though, what he did in his past belongs to him, not us.
Artistic Tart
Quote by DamonX
As an addendum for the females:
If you were to ask your guy about his number....Would you be hoping it was low? High? or about equal to yours?
As long as it's more than 0, I think I'm good not knowing. How good he can work it is what matters, not how many he's worked before me.
But if I found out it was a lot, then we could probably have a good time swapping some stories. ;)
Active Ink Slinger
Anyone who is going into a serious relationship with someone should be open and honest about their past and experience.. if my girlfriend is diving off the bookcase covered in crisco and m & m's I gotta know how this came about and if she intends it to be a nightly occurrence... on the other hand.. if the question is being asked for the sake of curiosity or competition.. and it is being answered honestly.. and you truly know the exact number... then you have either had sex so few times you are lacking in skills.. or you have had sex so many times skill never entered into it.. so the "number" becomes relevant for only one reason.. and that number is different for all of us... it's the number of times it took you to learn.. it isn't just about sex....
Constant Gardener
After our third 'date'...when she stopped by my house after work one afternoon (to see where and how I lived)...driving to her parent's house to pick up her two young children, this thirty nine year old woman...popped the Number Question to me, after she'd just spent 90 minutes (when she meant to spend just 5 minutes) engaged in all manner of hetero carnal deviance with me at a few locations in my crib.
She was a prettier, slightly more slender version of Ellen DeGeneres (in Ellen's best looking years).
She'd just performed combined acts of felching, Rusty Trombone, Cincinnati Bowtie, enjoyed a pearl necklace and begged me to give her a golden shower, near my pool.
Something told me that she was not The One I wanted to take home to meet my parents...as I finished spraying semen in her face and gawping mouth.
So, when she asked me what my Number was, I inflated it by 100, instead of my customary lying and dropping it down to some number between 8 and 20 (depending on how much I thought 'she' might be worthy a longer haul run at the theatres...so-to-speak).
I'll never forget the look on Debra's face, as she was all smiles and grins and lustful eyes in the moment of edging towards asking me...and the complete shock on her face...just after the syllables rained from my lips in a flippant, matter-of-fact manner.
She was speechless and looked as if I'd just slapped her with a sock full of steel washers. Ten minutes later she was just starting to come around as she mumbled something like..."Well, you know you're invited to come by this weekend and meet my little ones."
She tried to produce a phony smile as I opened the front door and let her out...
We only lasted 8 weeks...not even close to 9 and 1/2.
She was a prettier, slightly more slender version of Ellen DeGeneres (in Ellen's best looking years).
She'd just performed combined acts of felching, Rusty Trombone, Cincinnati Bowtie, enjoyed a pearl necklace and begged me to give her a golden shower, near my pool.
Something told me that she was not The One I wanted to take home to meet my parents...as I finished spraying semen in her face and gawping mouth.
So, when she asked me what my Number was, I inflated it by 100, instead of my customary lying and dropping it down to some number between 8 and 20 (depending on how much I thought 'she' might be worthy a longer haul run at the theatres...so-to-speak).
I'll never forget the look on Debra's face, as she was all smiles and grins and lustful eyes in the moment of edging towards asking me...and the complete shock on her face...just after the syllables rained from my lips in a flippant, matter-of-fact manner.
She was speechless and looked as if I'd just slapped her with a sock full of steel washers. Ten minutes later she was just starting to come around as she mumbled something like..."Well, you know you're invited to come by this weekend and meet my little ones."
She tried to produce a phony smile as I opened the front door and let her out...
We only lasted 8 weeks...not even close to 9 and 1/2.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by WellMadeMale
After our third 'date'...when she stopped by my house after work one afternoon (to see where and how I lived)...driving to her parent's house to pick up her two young children, this thirty nine year old woman...popped the Number Question to me, after she'd just spent 90 minutes (when she meant to spend just 5 minutes) engaged in all manner of hetero carnal deviance with me at a few locations in my crib.
She was a prettier, slightly more slender version of Ellen DeGeneres (in Ellen's best looking years).
She'd just performed combined acts of felching, Rusty Trombone, Cincinnati Bowtie, enjoyed a pearl necklace and begged me to give her a golden shower, near my pool.
Something told me that she was not The One I wanted to take home to meet my parents...as I finished spraying semen in her face and gawping mouth.
So, when she asked me what my Number was, I inflated it by 100, instead of my customary lying and dropping it down to some number between 8 and 20 (depending on how much I thought 'she' might be worthy a longer haul run at the theatres...so-to-speak).
I'll never forget the look on Debra's face, as she was all smiles and grins and lustful eyes in the moment of edging towards asking me...and the complete shock on her face...just after the syllables rained from my lips in a flippant, matter-of-fact manner.
She was speechless and looked as if I'd just slapped her with a sock full of steel washers. Ten minutes later she was just starting to come around as she mumbled something like..."Well, you know you're invited to come by this weekend and meet my little ones."
She tried to produce a phony smile as I opened the front door and let her out...
We only lasted 8 weeks...not even close to 9 and 1/2.
LMAO... next time.. start her off with a rusty gate... finish her with a snowplow.. and leave her with a cleveland steamer... oh wait.. she was at your place... hell... just call her a cab and throw her clothes out the front door...
Wild at Heart
Quote by LadyX
But if I found out it was a lot, then we could probably have a good time swapping some stories. ;)
Swapping stories after popping the number question is the best. Always leads to fun "I just found out you're such a hoe" sex.
(Hoe in an endearing way)
