Hi, I have a 36 year old male colleague who has been single for over 8 years now. He's had a few relationships that ended on a sour note and now he has given up, saying that relationships are too complicated because to a large extent they are based on emotion which can be fickle and irrational. Apparently he's always treated his girlfriends really well but they always played "mindgames" on him and didn't tell him what was wrong when clearly there was something bothering them. He now reckons that many women are "too stupid and ungrateful" when it comes to relationships.
He's a really good-natured, hardworking and polite guy but has a very no-nonsense attitude to everything and finds it hard to forgive when wronged.
What's your opinion, have you ever come across this type of person before?
It sounds as if he could have an obsessive-compulsive personality
Your description paints him as someone who likes to be in a controlled environment, having to worrying about the emotions of someone might take away too much control for him.
Spontaneity can be an important aspect of relationships, especially for people in their mid-twenties - the time when he was struggling in his relationships. He might find that the stability his personality-type now offers will be more suited to the age group he's now in.
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.
Why not read some stories instead
NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber you put and man and a women who basically communicate on different levels in a relationship..of course it is complicated
but to me..i think your co-worker is the problem....people usually project onto others..what they really feel inside
i would call that bullshit..but...he has gotten to that age...so i suspect...he will be this way forever
sad really..complicated is life...enjoy the ride ..get off when it becomes painful...and start it..again
Single is the way forward.......well it is if you dont have a choice
I've met some older men who've "sworn off women" but what they really mean is they won't try to have a committed relationship. They'll either "rent" or find women who aren't looking for a commitment or they'll drink. For a guy in his thirties to have given up, I'm guessing the past breakups were really bad. Some guys just have a very low tolerance for what it means to be in a relationship and others just give up because the set of women who can tolerate them doesn't intersect with the set of women they find attractive.
He needs to stop giving a shit. Sure, this may be the youth in me speaking cause I'm only 19, but where I'm from, the girls that are in the age of 18-25 are mostly complete bitches. No, I dont refer to every single female as a bitch, when they act it, I call it. To do this we must first define a bitch. Cause a bitch doesnt necessarily have to be single.
A bitch will flirt with any guy as long as he has money, a car and a dick.
A bitch will wear extra skimpy clothes to the supermarket.
A bitch will lose interest in your views and everything you stand for 10 seconds after you open your mouth.
A bitch will never call you, but demands that you call her.
If she has too many men as her friends. That's a bitch.
If she drinks with all of her guy friends while fully knowing that she is the only female there and she's going to stay because she's getting free taquila shots, one after the other........ Bitch.
If she has children and leaves them at home with the baby daddy to go out and have fun with her girlfriends all night long, every Friday. That's a bitch.
If she lost her virginity at the age of *Edited by admin for breaking forum guidelines* and had multiple (20+) sexual partners till you met her, that's a bitch.
Now that we have identified a bitch, we must now learn to avoid the bitch, and for that you'd have to BURROW TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH, OR MOVE TO THE MOON and even then you'll run into the motherfuckers.
As soon as you land on the moon a bitch will run up to you and ask for a ride home, 20,000 light years away.
Bitches are everywhere, you cannot escape them.
But there are things you can do to minimize your encounters with them.
1) Do not look for a potential date in a bar.
2) Do not tell them how much money you make. In fact, dont tell them what you do for a living. Make them guess and keep laughing, but never actually tell them. Keep making them guess, even if they're right.
3) Do not wear your cover-alls outside of the jobsite. Apparently, to bitches, coveralls=money.
4) Do not call them after the 2nd date (if you reach that far) A bitch will never call. A lady will be concerned.
5) Always go to simple places for dates. And try to keep away from those cliche bullshit movie scenes like going to the movies, or going to a park or something. Make the shit memorable. If she insists that she wants lobster for dinner, drive her to the restaurant. When she gets out of the car, drive away. It's that simple.
In the unfortunate event that you do accidentally hit on a bitch or if you just want a good one night stand, act like a fucking pimp. Treat them like garbage and buy them a vodka cranberry or something. Shit....
Some people need not to type and should silence their fingers when they are a bit let's say "wet behind the ears." A filter is a good thing.
To the OP: I think your colleague is using his past as an excuse to be pigheaded. This position that he places himself in...I hope he's comfortable with it and I hope it is enough for him on cold nights because he will be lonely. Also, he needs to surround himself with more appropriate women that are well adjusted and confident, he'll distance himself from the drama of the girls he's currently surrounded by.
I think that guy in lizzygurrl 's OP is just lazy. He doesn't want to be taken out of his comfort zone and he is blaming somebody else for it. In this case women.
Does he complain much would be my first question? If he does, than there you have it. People who complain/whine about pretty much everything, are lazy, not responsible for their actions, just waiting for a hint of a good luck to save them. Well, that's not going to happen if he doesn't sit down and have a talk with himself, what does he actually want, and figure out how to get there.
LAD - There is no question why you are single. You are a misogynist. A number of other thoughts come to mind, but as they come from an intelligent, confident, independent woman, I know you would discount the source. Perhaps you need to find some group that keeps women in their place to feel more comfortable - I know - the Taliban. You would be a perfect member.
if he's completely given up, there's not much you can do.
nothing you say to someone who has made up their mind can change it.
if he's happy with this lifestyle (not to say he is or isn't) be a friend and respect his choice.
He probably is just as guilty of playing mind games as the girls in his past. All relationships are 'too complicated.' They'd be dull as hell if they weren't.
Wow my post got a load of replies, and I read almost all of them. To answer some of them, no, I did not put that shit up for friends. I'm not on this site nearly enough to actually chat and message people or whatever else you do to 'make friends' online. As for Coveralls=Money, most of the time, where I'm from, random dudes go out in their coveralls to bars/clubs/anywhere they can possibly be (and I'm not talking bout the hard working bastards like Mechanics or civil house building people or whatever, I'm talking bout bastards in the oil industry who sit behind a desk all month gettin a fat ass paycheck). As for the use of the word 'Bitch', as I said, when I see it, I call it. It doesnt mean that I'm calling the entire female gender bitches, men can be bitches too.
As for me, yes, I'm seriously only 19 and no, I do not hate women. I actually admire them a whole lot. They run the risk of being and kidnapped everyday, but they still take the chance of going out into the world, making it a better place. Without women, the human race would be non existent. Women make the world go around. Women are not as nasty or sick or ill minded as some men. Seriously, some dudes are sick in their head, goin' round and shit..
To sum things up, not all women are bitches , I'm not looking for 'friends' on this site, if you think what I say sounds like I'm looking for attention, think about it for a second...... Yeah, thats right, I had yours. And finally, most men are douchebags.
For anyone who was offended by my 'misuse' of the word "bitch", I hope I didnt offend you, but if I did.... You might be one.
Anyways, I'll say what's on my mind without holding back because life's too short to sugarcoat bullshit before you give it to someone.
I'd much rather someone tell me something fucked up about myself than sugarcoat it. If that person was straight up about shit, I'd fix it.
But that's just my style, most people dont like it.
to be single is not funny at all...
For fucks sakes, that's some funny 
and they are probably worthless because I've yet to had breakfast. I feel like having bacon.
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