Someone pointed out in one of the later posts there was too much text to read and it might be better to have a summary. So here goes.
Summary ("New Post")
I was on vacation with a group. There I met this one girl (in my group) who was around my age that really stood out to me and by the end of the trip I'm practically in love and see her as my future wife. Throughout the vacation we only had superficial, short, and intermittent chats; only one time did we have a normal and slightly-lengthy conversation where we talked about each others interests, particularly the fact that we had the same major. Throughout the trip I sporadically, though more towards the middle and end, became a lot more reserved and withdrawn not socializing or mingling with others. I also ended up getting pretty wasted on two separate nights so I suppose that was slightly embarrassing if not at least setting a bad impression of myself - she was probably there at least one of the times and if she wasn't I'm sure she heard. One night at the club she let me buy her a drink while I was buying rounds for the group; later during some formal dinner I had a drink sent to her table. We live on opposite sides of the country. After the vacation was over I added her on a social media website, she doesn't seem to have a boyfriend according to the site; she accepted and I messaged her and thanked her. She replied that it was nice to have met me and that if in the foreseeable future if she was in my hometown she'd let me give her a tour. I replied back wanting to continue the conversation but she ignored me and then several hours later I messaged her again trying to chat with her and got ignored again; around this time (around a day) I may have positively rated 1-3 of her photos. Since she never replied there was nothing I could do and just gave things a two day break. After this time period I liked a photo and messaged her again (third time now) wanting to chat and got ignored. So I guess she's just not that into me.
I'm quite taken with this girl, infatuated. She has a great big sense of humor and is a very nice supportive/encouraging person. I'm very attracted to her personality and also her style. This thread has been essentially me asking advice on how to proceed and well just looking for perspective. I suppose I've also been exploring my own personal psychology throughout this thread since I've been mentioning assumptions of mine and probably touching on projections. That's really about it. I want to have a genuine and serious relationship with this girl; I want to get to know her and be fortunate enough to be in her company. She doesn't seem to feel the same though to be fair I never made my affections known.
That's about it. The rest of my posts are essentially me going into more detail on these and related things; feel free to read them to get a - hopefully - better sense of things. I figure there's really not much I can do other than in a week or two try and strike up another conversation. I enjoy reading everyone's comments, opinions, past experiences, and perspectives. Feel free to share. Thanks in advance.
Original Post:
I recently met a girl while I was on a retreat and I'm crushing hard on her. I'm just in love with her personality and her sense of style, I feel the way she dresses is so elegant and sexy with occasionally an undertone of seduction. She has a great big sense of humor and seems like she makes an effort to be nice/encouraging to everyone. She's clearly a looker and has lots of guys commenting and positively voting her pictures in the social media site we're on. Based off her profile she doesn't appear to have a boyfriend but that doesn't mean she's not committed or simply has a fuck buddy tucked away. She tends to make jokes that have a clearly sexual undertone, maybe she's after a boy toy only or she's sexually deprived. She's also smart and well educated; the thing being that she doesn't seem to express that, as in doesn't talk about intellectual topics though she clearly has knowledge of them and the capacity to discuss them. Also she seems to have this childish/playful side to her but at the same time I get the feeling there's a more serious side lurking underneath, possibly some world filled with emotional depth.
Long story short. I was pretty reserved and not-too social for most of the trip and we barely chatted all throughout; a random superficial conversation here and there. I maybe got drunk once or twice and made a fool of myself during the trip; one time she let me buy her a drink while our group was at the club. She accepted me on a social media site after the trip, I messaged her thanking her; she replied that she was glad to have met me and if in the next year or two she'd be on vacation in my hometown then I could give her a tour. I replied to her message continuing the conversation and she didn't bother replying and then several hours later I messaged her asking about her interests and that got ignored too. (She uses her phone to browse the site and it's been a few days so I clearly got rejected.)
So I'm sort of stumped, I don't know what to do. On the one hand I'm tempted to take the hint and let things be and maybe best case scenario just do my own thing and maybe she'll fall for me one day; but, I'm quite taken with this girl and on the other hand I'm tempted to conjure up whatever romance and charm I'm capable of and win her over. I have no problem with the latter, even if it takes months if not years; but, at the same rate I don't want to come off as some persistent hopeless stalker/loser. If the advances were to continue, ideally I'd be as romantic attempts though I'm not sure she even knows I'm interested. At least I never explicitly said so, not even really a compliment except maybe one time when people were trading them in a group; I guess my fear is that, she's not stupid, and probably assumes on some level I'm interested but believes that I'm really governed by lust when in fact I was hit with one of Cupid's arrows. I suppose there's also the issue of how I could win her over with our medium of contact being the internet, like what we'd just chat and fall for each other, or I'd take a more active interest with things and romance her somehow; but, since this is online and she doesn't seem interested I don't know how I'd go about with the charm in the first place.
I suppose there's also the issue of if she's not into you maybe she's not your type and you're just getting caught up in some fantasy, etc. But that's the thing, like I want a relationship with this woman; get to know her and spend time in her company, have fun, etc.
Also maybe on a personal level, I'm struggling with ideas of how to present myself? I guess ideally one would want to be genuine. But you know then you have issues like you have several sides to yourself and only some of them are constellated in the person's presence. I have this random idea in my head that she wants some kind of handsome manly gentlemen like Don Draper or one of those casual older guys (around 30s) that are well kept with a short beard. It seems she's surrounded by playful guys. I just don't know really what to think about her and that's in large part because I don't know much about her but from the little I do know I'm head over heels in love.
So the point of this post, other than I suppose to express myself, is that I'm curious about people's similar experiences and advice. What do you think I should do? What would you do in my position? Am I overlooking something or caught up with something in particular? If you've been in my position what have you done in the past and how did it play out? If you're in the girls position, how would you react to all this? Especially, for girls who have/are in a position of being admired by many guys, how does one stand out to you among the crowd? If say the guy hasn't made the best of impressions on you and you're not interested, how would he win you over? I suppose the first and the last questions are the ones I'm most interested in but really I value perspectives and critical dialogue and like to read everything people write pertaining to the topic on hand.
That's about it. Thanks for reading everyone and thanks in advance for any and all comments.
Edit: FYI, we're both recent college graduates.
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If ever you sleep with the same one twice, you've sold your soul at the establishment price.