In desperate need of advice.

8 Feb 2013

Im 20 pounds under my max, and I actually passed all my psyche evals.

8 Feb 2013

Alright, I'm just gonna be brutally honest here. It doesn't matter how fit you are, how handsome you are, how much money you make or how many women has broken your heart before. If there's 33 girls that played you before, forget them and move forward. Go to a coffee hut, a book store or where ever the hell 33 year old people go to socialize. And I say socialize because you do not want to find a potential date yet.
From what I've read, your way to possessive. Get out, chill, have a load of one night stands and never call them again. (I dont usually like telling people to do that, but you have got to get your shit together.)

Oh and by the way, did the army teach you to give up this easily?

Just saying.

I'm halfway gone.

8 Feb 2013

Quote by oldhound
Only one response, The Army did not screw me up! The guve and take of my issue is apparently the ease of handling getting shot at or handling bodies in exchange for complete lack of understanding the evil ones lol. Any issue I have is me, not the service.

FYI. She's just not into you. That doesn't make her evil.

The 'needy' thing is also a major repellant in any kind of relationship - whether friendship or romantic. Nobody owes you anything - it doesn't matter how nice they were to you initially. I have a feeling you completely misread signals of interest from the opposite sex and suffer major disappointment when they eventually don't live up to all the expectations you place on them.

A girl may be nice to you, a girl may even flirt with you, a girl may possibly share a coffee with you and tell you what a great guy you are because you seem in the dumps one day and she's trying to cheer you up. Men - please note - this means absolutely nothing. This is just being social. If these small things ignite that "little flame of hope" within you (as lifeafterdeath mentioned) you are probably doomed for disappointment. If you're nice to someone, they're probably going to be nice back to you by default. That doesn't mean they have any romantic or sexual interest in you whatsoever. It also doesn't mean that they 'led you on'.

If you haven't kissed her, had sex with her, or at least romantically snuggled with her - this person is just a friend.

And... even if you have done these things with a person - it doesn't necessarily imply that they have deep feelings for you, want a relationship or anything else. Being clingy and needy out of the gate, however, is a surefire way to make a person backtrack fast. That goes for both sexes.

Simple rules to live by.

8 Feb 2013

Quote by oldhound
Ms lass, I tried to be civil with her, and with the psychobabblista, and you read what happened. I did not, nor do I speak to women as I ranted here. I was polite and civil and attempt at humour. Now,well now is a different issue. I get told I project being the victim, that nothing is my fault, once by the woman who is the cause of my recent whining, pity the victim rants, then again by a mental health professional who laughed in my face and had to get proof I had lived through what I did, then she couldnt even ”help” me. you have suffered greatly, and in this arena you are far stronger than me, because now I just want to visit on them agony like they have done to me. Pity Im not able to ”live well” or get a hotter girl to get revenge. And none are worth going to jail for, si Ill just be the mean old man they made me.

If you are ranting, that's fine. Letting off steam is fine. But if we don't know you're doing that, it just means we judge and label what you show us, not neccessarily what you are. Can you blame the members here for that?!

As for them making you a mean old man, I disagree. That's a cop-out. Just admit you have let YOURSELF become that. That's fine. I am a bitter, inward-looking spinster racing towards forty. Yes, I have been affected by others and my health, but I still have control over what I do and say when my health allows it. And my health is no excuse for labelling others who would seek to be kind.

Choose to be a mean old man if you want. I still recommend getting some smiling cookies and nomming them. sunny

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

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9 Feb 2013

Ms doll, is it a misread signal when she talks of joining me in Colorado, to make sure my place has room for her daughter? We kissed, and cuddled, but I refrained from even asking about sex because she was recovering from an ectopic pregnancy, but she could have.sex.with him. A cop out? Ok, that ll work then

9 Feb 2013

Quote by oldhound
Ms doll, is it a misread signal when she talks of joining me in Colorado, to make sure my place has room for her daughter? We kissed, and cuddled, but I refrained from even asking about sex because she was recovering from an ectopic pregnancy, but she could have.sex.with him. A cop out? Ok, that ll work then

Honestly - yes. I don't know of any 'sane and stable' type of person who would consider moving in with someone (especially in another state or city) after having just kissed and cuddled with someone. I assume that's what you meant about joining you in Colorado and scouting out a new home for her and her kid. That should have set off the red flags and alarm bells ringing in your head if she was saying that with any measure of seriousness. Otherwise, I'd probably just assume she was joking or saying it in jest. Hard to say without knowing the context of the conversation. Either way - I wouldn't have put much stock into it.

It's a different story if you're romantically involved and committed to a person for six months or something and then have the rug pulled out from under you. The commitment thing is huge. If someone hasn't declared themselves a fully committed boyfriend/girlfriend, then all that's happening is casual dating. And in casual dating, it's reasonable to assume they are involved with other people. So I would say she hasn't done anything wrong. It's normal to be disappointed about it, but nobody is really to blame.

9 Feb 2013

Yes that figures