How to bring up new fantasies to your partner gently?

Quote by lil_lex
I would like to fuck a guy while my bf watches or have someone else watch us, but I'm afraid my bf will think I'm a freak or unhappy with our sex life. How do y'all bring up kinky stuff to your s/o? Should I start easing him into this ideas by hinting or just outright ask him? Basically I just don't want him to feel emasculated by this but it's something that I've been thinking about for a while now.

Quote by lil_lex
I would like to fuck a guy while my bf watches or have someone else watch us, but I'm afraid my bf will think I'm a freak or unhappy with our sex life. How do y'all bring up kinky stuff to your s/o? Should I start easing him into this ideas by hinting or just outright ask him? Basically I just don't want him to feel emasculated by this but it's something that I've been thinking about for a while now.

I want that to. If my love would just go with a Hot wife adventure. I'd fall right in and love it too

I want my other half to be freaky and make a Hot wife adventure with me

One of the best couples advise I heard is for people entering a more commuted point in their relationship. It’s basically sitting down with a list of kinks or sex acts . Normally you can find one online pretty easily.

Then each of you honestly and with no judgement either mark each one as ‘I want to try this, maybe, or hard no.’

It’s a great way to get the conversation started. If you are a woman bring this idea to a guy normally they’ll be happy to participate.

Then you compare and talk.

Watch some threesome porn together, and then talk about it as fantasy stuff while you are playing. That way you will get a feel if it's something he's interested in talking about further or not. Encourage a little discussion and dirty talk about it as well a few times, then you can ease into a real discussion about it. He may already be watching some shared wife or hot wife stuff and you don't know about it. He may be more open to it as well if he feels assured it's just sharing for both of you to enjoy, and not an attempt to cuckold him. There is a difference in my opinion.

A relationship coach had this advice to offer me.

Bring this up when you are relaxed and your eyes are not gazing at each other directly, as would be the case on a road trip.

I wove that piece of advice into a story chapter.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/novels/lust-love-and-ecstasy-chapter-02-cabin-fever

Hmmm.

I've always fantasised about an FFM with the BF (which he doesn't know).

However, I think if it came to it, I would actually be the one who needs convincing to go through with it - due to my own insecurities.

I learned the hard way, repeatedly, that being upfront and open is always the best policy, and saves time as well. If my S/O can't handle my passions, then they won't be able to handle me in the long run. That being said, I have some pretty wild urges and I still get nervous about asking for some of the crazier stuff.

In your particular situation, especially if you think he would judge you negatively (but, as an aside, every man wants a freak!), then have him go first. Suggest that to "spice things up" you two watch porn, together. then, get him all riled up and play with him while you choose some Cuckquean thing "entirely accidentally." Go insane and then have him take you while you dirty talk about how hot it would be to be made to watch as he has sex with another woman. I promise you that if you do it without embarrassment, he won't last long because no man can resist being urged to fuck somebody else while they're having sex.

Then, either set it up and go through with it, or keep it as a fantasy and introduce the converse of that, him watching. More dirty talk, more sex, and bring it up enough that he knows that you want it.

When your partner is a part of the fantasy, from beginning to end so far as they know, magic happens.

Quote by Georgia_27_8

Hmmm.

I've always fantasised about an FFM with the BF (which he doesn't know).

However, I think if it came to it, I would actually be the one who needs convincing to go through with it - due to my own insecurities.

I think if he knew, hed be trying to convince you...

I made the suggestion three different times, over the years, to my SO while she was very excited during sex. In all three cases her immediate response was positive. She admitted that she wanted to go through with each of them. However, when we initiated the first one she was all-in for the first couple hours, totally wet, totally ready, then got cold feet when it came time for her to be penetrated by the other guy. She did do plenty with him though. The second and third cases she talked about it during our private times to keep our minds hot, but when it came time to make the arrangements to go through with our plan she flipped and went from all-in to not interested. What I learned is that I need to take her responses with a grain of salt if her initial positive reaction was during her erotic excited times because her unexcited mind will stop it from happening. If you keep your SO in “the mood” you have a better chance for success.

Blurt them out and duck.

Communication is key to a relationship. You need to be willing to say what you like and listen to what they want. If you can't even do that, the relationship won't last anyway. Bring it up in the moment and give them time to think about it and ask questions.

As others have said the first step is to start talking about sexual fantasies in general. Then perhaps you could suggest that you would be turned on by visiting a naturist beach to judge how you react to being nude in the company of others and how he responds. Next step could be a swinging club

Other than on Lush most women respond the same way… are you fucking out of your mind! Even on Lush after reading most of the profiles I feel approaching any woman on Lush is so complicated by their list of restrictions that it is hardly worthwhile. You can’t chat with them as it is a prerequisite that you do before you do. They prefer women but might consider a man under the right conditions. Not allowed to chat so you will never find out the conditions. I will continue to lurk in chatrooms, read and write the occasional story, and imagine there is a land far, far away…

Ask him about his sexual fantasies during sex and even gently suggest some by asking what he'd love to see you do.

Quote by LongIslander
I asked my husband what his were first while we were having fun he was so excited while I was blowing him he told me and we went from there

Use this idea.

Quote by Pegasus4

Ask him about his sexual fantasies during sex and even gently suggest some by asking what he'd love to see you do.

I second this

Communication, trust, and patience.

Whatever you're introducing, don't treat it like the holy grail of all sex, but as an experiment - let's try something and see how it goes. Recognize that there's some risk involved (even if it's just the risk of being embarrassed). There's no guarantee either of you will enjoy it, and there needs to be the freedom to say so when it gets uncomfortable, without anyone holding hard feelings over it. Absolutely don't go to criticism or shaming (or pouting or throwing a hissy-fit, etc.) if your partner is reluctant to engage with your fantasy. They need to know that you're putting your care for them ahead of your own gratification. Reassure them you won't push them into anything they're not willing or wanting to do. Go slowly, and check in regularly to make sure everyone is having a good time. Provide feedback to your partner to help them do what you want them to do (don't just expect them to know) and let them know what feels good and what doesn't. Also, process afterwards (how was that for you?). Just because your partner did it once doesn't necessarily mean that they're eager to do it again or make it a regular part of your repertoire. If they just aren't into it, that's alright. There's still plenty of fun things you can do together. And recognize that often what's a turn on in a fantasy might be a turn-off in practice, so make some space for reality.

Narrow the communication gap between you and your partner. Tell your desires then ask his/her desires. Discuss and reach an amicable agreement.