Best way to broach the subject of a long-term crush?

3 Dec 2016

There's a girl who goes to the university next time mine. We've been friends for three years and I really enjoy her company. She's smart, beautiful and I've been kind of head over heels for her since freshman year. Any words of advice for how I should tell her without choking like a chicken trying to gargle a bowling ball?

3 Dec 2016

I really liked this lady fo the longest time and asked her to go for a hike in the mountains.
So I took her to a majestic 8,200 for a hike and ended up to a beautiful lake and said let's take a break. I took the day pack off and built a picnic of very good food and a great San Joaquin Valley Merlot. I told her that I have always wanted her and she absolutely melted.

13 Dec 2016

Ask her if she's ever been attracted to you. Just say it in a playful way. If she avoids the question, you'll have to let it go. But it won't ruin your friendship. Hopefully she'll 'fess up.

14 Dec 2016

Oh, just tell her, and tell her soon too. Life is meant to be lived, without worrying about whether or not people validate your feelings. Figure out a way to tell her and you might be pleasantly surprised. Or not. But don't keep it to yourself. Oh, and don't kidnap her and keep her in a basement, that never really works out.

“It's nice sometimes to open up the heart a little and let some hurt come in. It proves you're still alive.”

14 Dec 2016

The best torture is self-administered. This is fucking with your head and has been for a long time. Tell her you're attracted to her, and if she comes across with the "I just like you as a friend" crap, you are fucking toast, it ain't never going to happen. But, you WILL know where you stand and you'll be done with the albatross you've been toting around your neck....after 3 years that bird is getting a bit ripe, wouldn't you agree?

14 Dec 2016

drop your pants and wave your willy at her. that usually works with me. drunken

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

14 Dec 2016

Quote by sprite
drop your pants and wave your willy at her. that usually works with me.

It didn't work for me...

14 Dec 2016

Quote by billy
Oh, just tell her, and tell her soon too. Life is meant to be lived, without worrying about whether or not people validate your feelings. Figure out a way to tell her and you might be pleasantly surprised. Or not. But don't keep it to yourself. Oh, and don't kidnap her and keep her in a basement, that never really works out.

I'm with Billy. Life is too short to be nervous or scared about telling someone how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same way, brush it off and stay friends. Clearly you've got a great friendship, just go from there. If she is into you, even better. Don't hate on her if she doesn't feel the same way, though. Don't be petty. No girl likes that.

15 Dec 2016

Quote by Poppet

I'm with Billy. Life is too short to be nervous or scared about telling someone how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same way, brush it off and stay friends. Clearly you've got a great friendship, just go from there. If she is into you, even better. Don't hate on her if she doesn't feel the same way, though. Don't be petty. No girl likes that.

I couldn't hate her, I value her friendship too much to resent a rejection for longer than a moment. I'm just terrified that I'd lose her friendship through the admission.

16 Dec 2016

I'm curious, what precisely prevented you from showing her any signs of desire during the past three years?

16 Dec 2016

Quote by SereneProdigy
I'm curious, what precisely prevented you from showing her any signs of desire during the past three years?

Being bloody frightened of losing her friendship. And the fact that I feel more than a tad intimidated by her.

16 Dec 2016

Quote by SereneProdigy
I'm curious, what precisely prevented you from showing her any signs of desire during the past three years?

Being bloody frightened of losing her friendship. And the fact that I feel more than a tad intimidated by her.

16 Dec 2016

Quote by Honorablewolf
Being bloody frightened of losing her friendship. And the fact that I feel more than a tad intimidated by her.

I figured as much. Given your situation, I guess you'll have no other choice but to follow the advices already offered to you in this thread.

If this doesn't work out however, and if you're any curious, I'll be more than happy to explain why waiting three long years is probably the worst strategy to utilize when approaching seduction.

Best of luck and wishing you a fresh new lover for the holiday season!

17 Dec 2016

Quote by SereneProdigy

I figured as much. Given your situation, I guess you'll have no other choice but to follow the advices already offered to you in this thread.

If this doesn't work out however, and if you're any curious, I'll be more than happy to explain why waiting three long years is probably the worst strategy to utilize when approaching seduction.

Best of luck and wishing you a fresh new lover for the holiday season!

21 Dec 2016

Being nervous is normal. We are always afraid that we'll fuck-up somewhere, and things will go horribly wrong. The truth is, yes, that's a possibility. But, at the same time, there's another possibility that things go perfectly well for you, and you both may end up dating and having a good time together. You say that you've known her for three years, and three years is more than enough to get to know someone well. I'm sure the thought of dating you has crossed her mind too within these three years, and she has already decided an answer. All you have to do is to get to know the answer from her. Try to think over the times you've been with her, and try to remember if she shows the signs of liking you (as a boyfriend). If you're, say, 60% sure that she shows the signs, go for it.

The worst case scenario here is that she'll say she likes you just as a friend, and you'll be embarrassed for a few days. However, the best case scenario is definitely more rewarding, and definitely worth the risk.