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Best way to broach the subject of a long-term crush?

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There's a girl who goes to the university next time mine. We've been friends for three years and I really enjoy her company. She's smart, beautiful and I've been kind of head over heels for her since freshman year. Any words of advice for how I should tell her without choking like a chicken trying to gargle a bowling ball?
I really liked this lady fo the longest time and asked her to go for a hike in the mountains.
So I took her to a majestic 8,200 for a hike and ended up to a beautiful lake and said let's take a break. I took the day pack off and built a picnic of very good food and a great San Joaquin Valley Merlot. I told her that I have always wanted her and she absolutely melted.
Ask her if she's ever been attracted to you. Just say it in a playful way. If she avoids the question, you'll have to let it go. But it won't ruin your friendship. Hopefully she'll 'fess up.
Oh, just tell her, and tell her soon too. Life is meant to be lived, without worrying about whether or not people validate your feelings. Figure out a way to tell her and you might be pleasantly surprised. Or not. But don't keep it to yourself. Oh, and don't kidnap her and keep her in a basement, that never really works out.
“It's nice sometimes to open up the heart a little and let some hurt come in. It proves you're still alive.”
The best torture is self-administered. This is fucking with your head and has been for a long time. Tell her you're attracted to her, and if she comes across with the "I just like you as a friend" crap, you are fucking toast, it ain't never going to happen. But, you WILL know where you stand and you'll be done with the albatross you've been toting around your neck....after 3 years that bird is getting a bit ripe, wouldn't you agree?
drop your pants and wave your willy at her. that usually works with me.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Quote by sprite
drop your pants and wave your willy at her. that usually works with me.


It didn't work for me...

Quote by billy
Oh, just tell her, and tell her soon too. Life is meant to be lived, without worrying about whether or not people validate your feelings. Figure out a way to tell her and you might be pleasantly surprised. Or not. But don't keep it to yourself. Oh, and don't kidnap her and keep her in a basement, that never really works out.


I'm with Billy. Life is too short to be nervous or scared about telling someone how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same way, brush it off and stay friends. Clearly you've got a great friendship, just go from there. If she is into you, even better. Don't hate on her if she doesn't feel the same way, though. Don't be petty. No girl likes that.
Quote by Poppet


I'm with Billy. Life is too short to be nervous or scared about telling someone how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same way, brush it off and stay friends. Clearly you've got a great friendship, just go from there. If she is into you, even better. Don't hate on her if she doesn't feel the same way, though. Don't be petty. No girl likes that.



I couldn't hate her, I value her friendship too much to resent a rejection for longer than a moment. I'm just terrified that I'd lose her friendship through the admission.
I'm curious, what precisely prevented you from showing her any signs of desire during the past three years?
Quote by SereneProdigy
I'm curious, what precisely prevented you from showing her any signs of desire during the past three years?


Being bloody frightened of losing her friendship. And the fact that I feel more than a tad intimidated by her.
Quote by SereneProdigy
I'm curious, what precisely prevented you from showing her any signs of desire during the past three years?


Being bloody frightened of losing her friendship. And the fact that I feel more than a tad intimidated by her.
Quote by Honorablewolf
Being bloody frightened of losing her friendship. And the fact that I feel more than a tad intimidated by her.


I figured as much. Given your situation, I guess you'll have no other choice but to follow the advices already offered to you in this thread.

If this doesn't work out however, and if you're any curious, I'll be more than happy to explain why waiting three long years is probably the worst strategy to utilize when approaching seduction.

Best of luck and wishing you a fresh new lover for the holiday season!
Quote by SereneProdigy


I figured as much. Given your situation, I guess you'll have no other choice but to follow the advices already offered to you in this thread.

If this doesn't work out however, and if you're any curious, I'll be more than happy to explain why waiting three long years is probably the worst strategy to utilize when approaching seduction.

Best of luck and wishing you a fresh new lover for the holiday season!


Being nervous is normal. We are always afraid that we'll fuck-up somewhere, and things will go horribly wrong. The truth is, yes, that's a possibility. But, at the same time, there's another possibility that things go perfectly well for you, and you both may end up dating and having a good time together. You say that you've known her for three years, and three years is more than enough to get to know someone well. I'm sure the thought of dating you has crossed her mind too within these three years, and she has already decided an answer. All you have to do is to get to know the answer from her. Try to think over the times you've been with her, and try to remember if she shows the signs of liking you (as a boyfriend). If you're, say, 60% sure that she shows the signs, go for it.

The worst case scenario here is that she'll say she likes you just as a friend, and you'll be embarrassed for a few days. However, the best case scenario is definitely more rewarding, and definitely worth the risk.