Sorry, WMM, I am spoken for. I should not tease like that.
Fancy Someone
On her I crush.
That girl from Lush.
And though we're many miles apart
At least today, she has my heart.
We both fancy one another
But we also know tht there are others.
For now we'll be content with fun
We gain from fancying someone.
Next challenge (you all knew it had to come sometime, so here 'tis)
Lush Guidelines
WHOOPS! Too late! Shylass beat me to the punch. So her challenge stands.
Tummy sticks.
"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
don't post your pussy
you'll only wind up coming across as a hussy
and you know that erect dicks are a no no so no no don't be savin
them here, don't give a fuck if you been shavin
keep them to your profile
or you may be considered a
OK I wrote this before the update why doesn't the next person do the tummy sticks one.
Two men embrace
And exchange licks.
Oh my gosh! Tummy sticks!
What they might next do
No one knows.
Oh, Good Lord!
Penis toes!
I can't watch
But I can't not look.
This movie's better
Than the book.
Next challenge:
Lush Guidelines
"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
Lush Guidelines
Forum guidelines
Do clearly state
Lush won't abide
Any form of hate
Spammers and Jackers
We will not have
You'll be shown the door swiftly
By code monkey Gav
Keep on topic
Respect don't dispute
Behaviour like that
Can also get you the boot
Titillate each other
Go on have your say
The forum after all
Is another place to play
Challenge: Tea Bagging
'tis time for a quick, not so quick - joke.
This bloke with Tourette's Syndrome walks into the most exclusive
restaurant in town.
'Where's your motherfucking manager, you cocksucking arse-wipe?' he
inquires of one of the waiters.
The waiter is taken aback and replies, 'Excuse me, sir, but could you
please refrain from using that sort of language in here? I will
retrieve my manager as soon as I can'.
The manager comes over and the bloke blurts out, 'Would you be the
chicken-fucking manager of this bitchy place..? Cocksucker!'
'Yes sir, I am,' replies the manager, 'but I would prefer it if you
could refrain from speaking such profanities in this, a private
restaurant'.
'Fuck you, I've got the Tourette's - cunt-tripe!,' replies the bloke,
'where's your piano, please?'
'Pardon?' says the manager.
'Fucking deaf as well, are we? Please, would you show me your bastard
piano, I'm applying for your open position.'
'Ah,' replies the manager, 'you've come about the pianist job,' and
shows the bloke to the piano. 'Can you play any blues?'
'Of course I can....fuck'n pisseater..!' The bloke proceeds to play the
most inspiring and beautiful sounding honky-tonk blues that the manager
has ever heard.
'That's superb. What's it called?'
'I tried to shag yer missus on the sofa but the springs kept pinching my
cock ring,' replied the bloke.
The manager is a bit disturbed and asks if the bloke knows any jazz.
The bloke proceeds playing the most melancholy, yet enchanting slow jazz
solo the manager has ever heard.
'Magnificent,' cries the manager. 'What's it called?'
'I wanted a wank over the washing machine but I got my balls caught in
the soap drawer'.
The manager is a tad embarrassed and asks the pianist, if he knows any
romantic ballads.
The bloke then plays the most heartbreaking melody the manager has ever
heard, 'And what's this called?' asks the manager.
'As I tea bag you under the stars with the moonlight shining off your hairy
ring-piece,' smiles the bloke, obviously rather proud of his
masterpieces...
The manager is highly upset by the bloke's language, but offers him the
job on condition that he doesn't introduce any of his songs or talk to
any of the customers.
This arrangement works well for a couple of months - until one night,
sitting opposite him, is the most gorgeous blonde he has ever laid his
eyes on.
She's wearing an almost see-through dress, her breasts are
practically cascading out of the top of her black lace bra, and the
skimpy little 'G' string she's wearing is doing very little to conceal
her ample charms. She's sitting there with her long, tanned legs
slightly open, sucking suggestively on asparagus shoots as the butter is
dripping down her chin.
The image is too much for the bloke, and he scurries off to the Gents to
furiously masturbate.
He's tugging away when he hears the manager's voice: 'Where's that
blarney pianist?'
He just has time to relieve himself, and, in a fluster, he runs back to
the piano, having not bothered to adjust himself properly, sits down
and starts playing some more tunes. The blonde steps up and walks over
to the piano, leans over and whispers in his ear,
'Do you know - your knob and bollocks are hanging out of your trousers
and dripping spunk on your shoes?'
The bloke smiles wide and replies, 'Darling...not only do I know it? I fucking wrote
it!'
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Cock ring
Baby,I want to make it last
When we make love
You come too fast
I know you want me
Satisfied too
So here`s a present
A cock ring for you
Just slide it down
That lovely dick
Please don`t frown
I am sure that it
Will make me happy
And prolong
The lasting power
Of your schlong.
Challenge: condom
Your brand of condom
Is a cock-ring to me
Allowing no spewage
No Um to my C
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Cybering
It began pretty simple
Some digital sex
Wifi Arousal
One of the best
Who knew where
This cybering would go
We got off fast
A sexy show
Its moved on
Emotion got deeper
A friend for life
You are a keeper
So keep in mind
When you do Cyber
One may become
A permanent subscriber
Challenge- queefing
Cybering
Cybering it brings me joy
So long as it is
With a boy
My senses are on high alert
This guy is hot
He`s such a flirt
We talk, we laugh, and we excite
Each other five times
Through the night
I wonder sometimes
If it`s right
To have a lover
Off a site
Challenge: bisexual
CD and I must have been posting simultaneously. I concede the challenge to her.
Queefing
Queefing - a new word to me
Until CD just said it
Didn't know such a thing could be
Used Wiki to find it really fast
And write this verse
Hoping not to be last
Done by women's intimate parts
It's vaginal flatulence
Female farts
Challenge: bisexual
Bisexual
Being bi makes me fly
I love the cocktail of cock and cunt
Am I on the hunt for cock or cunt?
Maybe I'll take whatever I can, but over there!
See that man?
I have a plan, to fuck that man.
But tomorrow when I go on the hunt.
I'll search for a lovely juicy cunt.
The best of both worlds, it's a nice condition.
To be bisexual gives me ignition.
Light my fire, take me higher!
Bisexuality is my desire.
To fall in love with a man or woman
The idea really gets my head a-zoomin'
And then my heart goes a-boomin'!
And that is why
Being bi makes me fly!
Challenge: dry humping.
Bravo, CD. I would not attempt to write verses in French.
Defloration
Every girl has a first time
To be deflowered
To experience passion
And with love be showered
Her lover will be gentle
If she`s favoured by the gods
Wonderful lovemaking
Careful as he prods
To teach her well
Her sensuality to awaken
And soon, it`s done
Her virginity taken
Challenge: Faking orgasm
Faking Orgasm:
Oh baby, baby, I'm almost there.
I'm rubbing my clit, no time to spare
You're fucking huge, the best I've had
You make me want to be really bad
You're the best fuck, really the best
So much better than all the rest
I'm cumming I'm cumming, hard for you
I've had one orgasm, this'll make two
Multi-orgasmic is how you make me feel
This is so good, so fucking real.
Actually, I barely came at all
Your cock is tiny, really small
I only 'came' to make you feel good
I should have been honest, I know I should
You're average in bed and that's being generous
Even though you are cute, in fact you are gorgeous
So sometimes, I'll pretend you're a stud
I'll tell you I'm cumming, as you shoot your wad
I'll get my cum, don't you worry 'bout me though
I'm off to bed, to play with my Lelo!
Challenge:
Bastards!
DL - since no one has posted - and many do not find this a subject for funny verses - can we please skip this one and have another suggestion from you?
Merci, ma copaine. Thank you, gf.
Since Dlizze hasn't come back to us with a new topic, I'm going to randomly choose...
CLEAVAGE
have at it, bards....
Cleavage
Most fellas focus
Just on the orbs
But for some, its between
That their brain absorbs
That sweet hollow
Between the tits
I know you imagine
If your cock fits
Its easy to spot
Even when they are dressed
They can spill out
That chest is the best
So lube them up now
Hips ready for heavage
I'll hold them together,
You fuck my cleavage
Challenge: Shaved
Shaved
Constantly debated
In the Lush Forum
They love it or hate it
So I’m asking you to be the jury
As to whether my pussy
Should be shaved or be furry
I don’t know which
Is my man’s fave
Should my hair show
Or should I shave
Razor in hand
Given the facts
To hell with it
I think I'll wax
Challenge: circumcised cocks
*** 
