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This was rejected because it wasn't a "Romantic" love poem...The category is just list

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loneleygirl68
The (Im)Proper Poetess
This poem is the second part of one that was published to the site on 7/17/15 called Enigmatic Shadow

enjoy, and comment if you would like. Personally I think it should have been allowed to be published....


Enigma Resolved


Not quite content
To wait anymore
I gathered my things
Followed you out the door

Down the road you went
Strolled at a leisurely pace
If noticed following
I’d have had a red face!

Around the corner
Just up ahead you stopped
If I’d noticed a minute later
I would have been caught

Following just a bit slower
My heart still beating quick
I wonder where you are going
Will knowing do the trick?

Waiting for you to tell me
Where this ‘friendship’ will go
Is driving me absolutely crazy
I really must needs know

Up ahead you finally stop
At a house in the middle of a row
You fumble a bit with a key
Then in the door you go

The windowpanes are shuttered
The curtains are all drawn
I am out of luck to see in
A fence around the neat lawn

Huffing out an exasperated sigh
I sit down upon the curb
I followed you for nothing
Because I don’t dare disturb

I failed to notice
The door opening again
Suddenly there is a shadow
Damn! Its caught I’ve been!


What are you doing here?
Did you actually follow me?
All that I could do
Was nod my head yes in honesty


I asked you to be patient
For just a little while more
Why did you have to follow me
To my mother’s door


I really wish you hadn’t
Gone and followed me here
Lovers or Friends
The answer is now clear


If had you been patient
Its lovers it would have been
But without the most basic trust
I can’t even consider you a friend


Please take your leave now
Don’t contact me anymore
Lose my telephone number
Do not darken my mother’s door


I stood up, looked you in the eye
Desperately trying to apologize
You shook your head and turned away
I had actually ruined things I realized


With no chance I turned and left
Returning from whence I came
Neither lover nor friend now
I’ve only myself to blame



In trying to solve the mystery
That was the enigmatic shadow man
I missed a chance at true love
Now, always alone I am doing the best I can
LaylaJune
Fancy Schmancy
I am a little surprised it was rejected - it seems to qualify as a love poem to me, but I don't make the rules. If I am correct, I believe you have a presence on the "blue" site where I am sure it would be accepted.

It is a little creepy, stalkery (I almost thought it was about a dog following a kid home), but overall, I think it is well-written.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by loneleygirl68
This poem is the second part of one that was published to the site on 7/17/15 called Enigmatic Shadow

enjoy, and comment if you would like. Personally I think it should have been allowed to be published....


Enigma Resolved


Not quite content
To wait anymore
I gathered my things
Followed you out the door

Down the road you went
Strolled at a leisurely pace
If noticed following
I’d have had a red face!

Around the corner
Just up ahead you stopped
If I’d noticed a minute later
I would have been caught

Following just a bit slower
My heart still beating quick
I wonder where you are going
Will knowing do the trick?

Waiting for you to tell me
Where this ‘friendship’ will go
Is driving me absolutely crazy
I really must needs know

Up ahead you finally stop
At a house in the middle of a row
You fumble a bit with a key
Then in the door you go

The windowpanes are shuttered
The curtains are all drawn
I am out of luck to see in
A fence around the neat lawn

Huffing out an exasperated sigh
I sit down upon the curb
I followed you for nothing
Because I don’t dare disturb

I failed to notice
The door opening again
Suddenly there is a shadow
Damn! Its caught I’ve been!


What are you doing here?
Did you actually follow me?
All that I could do
Was nod my head yes in honesty


I asked you to be patient
For just a little while more
Why did you have to follow me
To my mother’s door


I really wish you hadn’t
Gone and followed me here
Lovers or Friends
The answer is now clear


If had you been patient
Its lovers it would have been
But without the most basic trust
I can’t even consider you a friend


Please take your leave now
Don’t contact me anymore
Lose my telephone number
Do not darken my mother’s door


I stood up, looked you in the eye
Desperately trying to apologize
You shook your head and turned away
I had actually ruined things I realized


With no chance I turned and left
Returning from whence I came
Neither lover nor friend now
I’ve only myself to blame



In trying to solve the mystery
That was the enigmatic shadow man
I missed a chance at true love
Now, always alone I am doing the best I can


I think that you did beautifully.
loneleygirl68
The (Im)Proper Poetess
Quote by LaylaJune
I am a little surprised it was rejected - it seems to qualify as a love poem to me, but I don't make the rules. If I am correct, I believe you have a presence on the "blue" site where I am sure it would be accepted.

It is a little creepy, stalkery (I almost thought it was about a dog following a kid home), but overall, I think it is well-written.


Thanks, yes I am on the other site as well. It just doesn't get as many readers. As a stand alone its ok, it just makes more sense if the other part is read first. I never actually intended for the first to have a second. I wrote this one after the fact. I appreciate your time to read and comment. Thanks LJ
LaylaJune
Fancy Schmancy
Quote by loneleygirl68


Thanks, yes I am on the other site as well. It just doesn't get as many readers. As a stand alone its ok, it just makes more sense if the other part is read first. I never actually intended for the first to have a second. I wrote this one after the fact. I appreciate your time to read and comment. Thanks LJ



I know what you mean about number of readers - that was why I established a presence here.
HeraTeleia
Top Shot
Did you ask the moderator/verifier who rejected your piece exactly why it was rejected, and how to change it to better conform to Lush standards? Rejections generally come with an explanation of the reason behind the rejection, and sometimes suggestions on how to change it to meet Lush standards. The mods/verifiers are generally very willing to help out.
Want to spend some time wallowing in a Recommended Read? Pick one! Or two! Or seven!
loneleygirl68
The (Im)Proper Poetess
Quote by HeraTeleia
Did you ask the moderator/verifier who rejected your piece exactly why it was rejected, and how to change it to better conform to Lush standards? Rejections generally come with an explanation of the reason behind the rejection, and sometimes suggestions on how to change it to meet Lush standards. The mods/verifiers are generally very willing to help out.



Yes I did, and was specifically told that it did not fit the love poem category because it was not Romantic. I also asked the mod to read the first part Enigmatic Shadow, so they could see how this one was a continuation of sorts. The reply was that the first one fit because it was "abstract" this one did not.

I then suggested that perhaps if Romantic love poems were what was wanted then they might consider re-naming the category to Romantic Love Poems, instead of simply Love Poems. To that I did not receive a response.

I feel that love is a general term..there is romantic,tragic,sweet...I could go on and on

Thank you for responding, I appreciate your time!
loneleygirl68
The (Im)Proper Poetess
Quote by LaylaJune



I know what you mean about number of readers - that was why I established a presence here.


I was here first, but another friend suggested I join there as well. I just am not there as often. I am also not sure where, over there I would post it, as in what category. Also thought about pulling first one down and combining them, but not sure if that would work either, each has a different rhythm and tone.
Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by loneleygirl68
Yes I did, and was specifically told that it did not fit the love poem category because it was not Romantic. I also asked the mod to read the first part Enigmatic Shadow, so they could see how this one was a continuation of sorts. The reply was that the first one fit because it was "abstract" this one did not.

I then suggested that perhaps if Romantic love poems were what was wanted then they might consider re-naming the category to Romantic Love Poems, instead of simply Love Poems. To that I did not receive a response.

I feel that love is a general term..there is romantic,tragic,sweet...I could go on and on


(Honest opinion alert)

I have to say, and I'm not being mean about this, I don't see how a piece about stalking someone to their mother's house qualifies as a 'love poem'. The character might have done it for love, but I don't think that necessarily makes this a love poem.

The first sentence on the Love Poems page is, "Love poems and poetry is a hugely popular section, proving romance isn't dead!" I think the kind of work the site is looking to publish is implied, without actually being spelled out word for word. We (the story moderators) are looking for poetry with passion, with fire. Everything from the anticipation and excitement of a first love, to the crushing, heart-wrenching desperation of loss.

Liz
patokl
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Liz


(Honest opinion alert)

I have to say, and I'm not being mean about this, I don't see how a piece about stalking someone to their mother's house qualifies as a 'love poem'. The character might have done it for love, but I don't think that necessarily makes this a love poem.

The first sentence on the Love Poems page is, "Love poems and poetry is a hugely popular section, proving romance isn't dead!" I think the kind of work the site is looking to publish is implied, without actually being spelled out word for word. We (the story moderators) are looking for poetry with passion, with fire. Everything from the anticipation and excitement of a first love, to the crushing, heart-wrenching desperation of loss.

Liz

I disagree. You focus on the events and on where he turned out to be. They are secondary here. I read a poem about someone seeking love, about lack of faith leading to a stupid action, and about losing love she so desparately wanted, before it could happen, as a result. In my eyes, this is a love poem. A poem about failing to find love maybe, but about love nontheless.
A little kindness can be so valuable, yet costs almost nothing

In many countries being gay is a crime, and even in modern societies, politicians try to legalise discrimination. Your voice can make a difference. Have a look at All Out to find out how.

Hey... pssst.... that's an l (as in luscious) at the end of my name, not an i
Guest
Lurker
I would have passed it...

xx SF

Liz: "YOU were FIRED!!!"

Me: "yeah....."
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Damn, almost made it through the day without feeling the need to start drinking heavily. oh well, fuck it.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by sprite
Damn, almost made it through the day without feeling the need to start drinking heavily. oh well, fuck it.


*LAUGHS!!!* What's THAT like???

xx SF

(I GET STUFF REJECTED!!!)

Usually I don't bother to re-write it... (AND IN HONESTY, they ALWAYS explain why they BOUNCE it...) Fuck it, I'll just write ANOTHER one!!!

I will NEVER, EVER fault the Mod Team because I KNOW HOW TOUGH THAT JOB IS!!!

(Do they ALWAYS call it right??? Well... NO THEY DON'T!!! But THAT'S just MY OPINION. AS VALID as theirs, if you think about it... WITHOUT their calls the site IS A GARBAGE BAG!!! They work HARD at cost to their own creativity, they take it So Seriously!!! They AGONIZE over calls, they ARE SPOKEN TO if they call it WRONG, (Well, I was... A LOT!) And then LATER as a Senior Mod was obliged to SPEAK TO other colleagues about issues! They are often VILIFIED and INSULTED for their time and considerable effort and VERY SELDOM thanked for the time they give to MAKE US ALL PROUD OF BEING A PART OF LUSH.

Fuck it... Let's BE SPECIFIC.

My LAST rejection, (a prose story) came with a DETAILED suggestion from THE MOD as to how I could FIX it for approval. (Now, I DON'T GENERALLY re-edit...)

So I just KILLED the piece. (And it was FUCKING good!)

Know what I did next?

I just wrote something else.

People ACCUSE mods of being all sorts of power crazy and such bullshit... (I WAS ACCUSED OF THAT!) But I DON'T think I WAS, and I DON'T think the Mod who bounced MY PIECE was, AND I DON'T THINK THEY ARE!!!

They do THE JOB to their best IN EVERY INSTANCE I HAVE EVER COME ACROSS!!!

(I THANKED the MOD who bounced my piece IN PRIVATE PM, explaining that I DIDN'T THINK I could fit in the changes he suggested into the piece and keep its FLAVOUR... But I thanked him all the same.)

*AND THEN I WROTE A NEW ONE!*

xx Stephen
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by stephanie


*LAUGHS!!!* What's THAT like???

xx SF


i really have no idea, to be honest.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
avrgblkgrl
In-House Sapiosexual
I'm afraid I have to agree with Liz. I am a moderator on here as well as the Blue Site and it reads more like it belongs on the other site. I understand that it may be influenced by/connected to another poem already published here, but it is a separate submission and stands alone.
Of course you could do what so many make the mistake of doing, sex it up and over dramatize passion in an effort to make it fit for the sake of just having it published. When it is forced and breaks the fluidity of thought, it is painfully obvious. You will lose out on quality. It depends on what is of importance to you.

Many of the same readers here are located on the Blue Site as well. This poem could be what increases your views. I often write poems myself that just lack that Lush edge and belong there as well. I'll want it to be here, but it just simply doesn't belong here. It is not because the poem lacks quality, it's just an adjustment in placement.

Sprite, stop hogging the bottle. It's been a long day.64ylEBbue0gagBNE
? A True Story ?
Guest
Lurker
Quote by avrgblkgrl
I'm afraid I have to agree with Liz. I am a moderator on here as well as the Blue Site and it reads more like it belongs on the other site. I understand that it may be influenced by/connected to another poem already published here, but it is a separate submission and stands alone.
Of course you could do what so many make the mistake of doing, sex it up and over dramatize passion in an effort to make it fit for the sake of just having it published. When it is forced and breaks the fluidity of thought, it is painfully obvious. You will lose out on quality. It depends on what is of importance to you.

Many of the same readers here are located on the Blue Site as well. This poem could be what increases your views. I often write poems myself that just lack that Lush edge and belong there as well. I'll want it to be here, but it just simply doesn't belong here. It is not because the poem lacks quality, it's just an adjustment in placement.

Sprite, stop hogging the bottle. It's been a long day.GozWCfNyfN1JMJx8


THIS post PROVES my ABOVE point!!!

(These people are NOT EMPLOYED because they don't know what they are doing. I'll GO SO FAR AS TO SAY that THEY are the ONLY people who read YOU with the SERIOUSNESS AND CAREFUL CONSIDERATION that REALLY isn't the FORTE of the GENERAL READER.)

xx SF

(And I DON'T always AGREE... (But I RESPECT their calls!!!)
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
Quote by loneleygirl68
This poem is the second part of one that was published to the site on 7/17/15 called Enigmatic Shadow

enjoy, and comment if you would like. Personally I think it should have been allowed to be published....


Enigma Resolved


Not quite content
To wait anymore
I gathered my things
Followed you out the door

Down the road you went
Strolled at a leisurely pace
If noticed following
I’d have had a red face!

Around the corner
Just up ahead you stopped
If I’d noticed a minute later
I would have been caught

Following just a bit slower
My heart still beating quick
I wonder where you are going
Will knowing do the trick?

Waiting for you to tell me
Where this ‘friendship’ will go
Is driving me absolutely crazy
I really must needs know

Up ahead you finally stop
At a house in the middle of a row
You fumble a bit with a key
Then in the door you go

The windowpanes are shuttered
The curtains are all drawn
I am out of luck to see in
A fence around the neat lawn

Huffing out an exasperated sigh
I sit down upon the curb
I followed you for nothing
Because I don’t dare disturb

I failed to notice
The door opening again
Suddenly there is a shadow
Damn! Its caught I’ve been!


What are you doing here?
Did you actually follow me?
All that I could do
Was nod my head yes in honesty


I asked you to be patient
For just a little while more
Why did you have to follow me
To my mother’s door


I really wish you hadn’t
Gone and followed me here
Lovers or Friends
The answer is now clear


If had you been patient
Its lovers it would have been
But without the most basic trust
I can’t even consider you a friend


Please take your leave now
Don’t contact me anymore
Lose my telephone number
Do not darken my mother’s door


I stood up, looked you in the eye
Desperately trying to apologize
You shook your head and turned away
I had actually ruined things I realized


With no chance I turned and left
Returning from whence I came
Neither lover nor friend now
I’ve only myself to blame



In trying to solve the mystery
That was the enigmatic shadow man
I missed a chance at true love
Now, always alone I am doing the best I can


I personally think it is a well written poem. I don't know all the criteria for approving in this category.
NymphWriter
Unicorn Wrangler
Quote by Liz
(Honest opinion alert)

I have to say, and I'm not being mean about this, I don't see how a piece about stalking someone to their mother's house qualifies as a 'love poem'. The character might have done it for love, but I don't think that necessarily makes this a love poem.

The first sentence on the Love Poems page is, "Love poems and poetry is a hugely popular section, proving romance isn't dead!" I think the kind of work the site is looking to publish is implied, without actually being spelled out word for word. We (the story moderators) are looking for poetry with passion, with fire. Everything from the anticipation and excitement of a first love, to the crushing, heart-wrenching desperation of loss.

Liz


I must agree with Liz as well. It's not for Lush. This is about a person who is basically a stalker and gets caught. There is no romance. There is no real heartbreak. It's a nice poem... but it's not suited for Lush.

Quote by avrgblkgrl
I'm afraid I have to agree with Liz. I am a moderator on here as well as the Blue Site and it reads more like it belongs on the other site. I understand that it may be influenced by/connected to another poem already published here, but it is a separate submission and stands alone.
Of course you could do what so many make the mistake of doing, sex it up and over dramatize passion in an effort to make it fit for the sake of just having it published. When it is forced and breaks the fluidity of thought, it is painfully obvious. You will lose out on quality. It depends on what is of importance to you.

Many of the same readers here are located on the Blue Site as well. This poem could be what increases your views. I often write poems myself that just lack that Lush edge and belong there as well. I'll want it to be here, but it just simply doesn't belong here. It is not because the poem lacks quality, it's just an adjustment in placement.

Sprite, stop hogging the bottle. It's been a long day.olxSTF0ZTPgN9ejS


ABG is also correct that this would do well on the Blue Site. I have not read your other poem (the one mentioned earlier) so I have no idea the connection. All I know is this is not a poem for Lush.

And here's a drink for you ABG... since Sprite is being selfish.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by NymphWriter


ABG is also correct that this would do well on the Blue Site. I have not read your other poem (the one mentioned earlier) so I have no idea the connection. All I know is this is not a poem for Lush.

And here's a drink for you ABG... since Sprite is being selfish.


I disagree...

(Let's PUT STUFF ON HERE and SEE how it is received? WITHIN our guidelines, obviously...) If it ISN'T received THE AUTHOR will GET THE MESSAGE...

I THINK the quoted piece EXPLORES a DARK SIDE of sexuality, love, obsession and fixation...

(AND WE DO THAT, DON'T WE???)

FUCK... (I know I DO!!!)


As a MODERATOR, you HAVE to put your OWN preferences IN YOUR POCKET... (Other people MIGHT FEEL IT???)

If it's NOT against site standards and IT'S NOT badly written THEN IT SHOULD GO UP!!!

And take its chances.

xx SF
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Back in my father's day stalking WAS romance. He had to do it. He wasn't gonna get anything off my mother.
avrgblkgrl
In-House Sapiosexual
Quote by NymphWriter

And here's a drink for you ABG... since Sprite is being selfish.


FINALLY, some love. Thank you.?

Quote by stephanie


I disagree...

I THINK the quoted piece EXPLORES a DARK SIDE of sexuality, love, obsession and fixation...



Disagreeing is your prerogative.
(You know I love you, but you did mention that you were a fired volunteer right?)

Of course we explore these things, the dark side/love/obsession and fixation are also explored elsewhere.
I'm not even going to bother denying it's presence in the poem because I don't think that is the question.
The question is if enough is there to qualify for Lush. If you are saying that it is, I have to disagree my friend--with respect
for both you and the poem. And, I didn't pick up on anything sexual, so why bother going there in this thread.

As far as preferences, it is a little mean to assume that the original Moderator for the poem didn't give it more thought than that.
Nor is it fair to assume that you know where their preferences stand. Hmm...

Keeping all things beneficial, I totally understand how Lonelygirl feels. It happens to the best of us, as Steph admitted.
No one wants you to abandon it or even rewrite it. I wouldn't if it were mine. The Blue Site would welcome it, I'm sure.
? A True Story ?
NymphWriter
Unicorn Wrangler
Quote by stephanie
I disagree...

(Let's PUT STUFF ON HERE and SEE how it is received? WITHIN our guidelines, obviously...) If it ISN'T received THE AUTHOR will GET THE MESSAGE...

I THINK the quoted piece EXPLORES a DARK SIDE of sexuality, love, obsession and fixation...

(AND WE DO THAT, DON'T WE???)

FUCK... (I know I DO!!!)


As a MODERATOR, you HAVE to put your OWN preferences IN YOUR POCKET... (Other people MIGHT FEEL IT???)

If it's NOT against site standards and IT'S NOT badly written THEN IT SHOULD GO UP!!!

And take its chances.

xx SF


Fine... the we shall just agree to disagree. I still respect your views, I just don't agree.

Quote by avrgblkgrl
Disagreeing is your prerogative.
(You know I love you, but you did mention that you were a fired volunteer right?)

Of course we explore these things, the dark side/love/obsession and fixation are also explored elsewhere.
I'm not even going to bother denying it's presence in the poem because I don't think that is the question.
The question is if enough is there to qualify for Lush. If you are saying that it is, I have to disagree my friend--with respect
for both you and the poem. And, I didn't pick up on anything sexual, so why bother going there in this thread.

Keeping all things beneficial, I totally understand how Lonelygirl feels. It happens to the best of us, as Steph admitted.
No one wants you to abandon it or even rewrite it. I wouldn't if it were mine. The Blue Site would welcome it, I'm sure.


I agree with ABG... this would do well on the Blue Site. As a stand-alone poem... it would be a good fit there.
Guest
Lurker
Most of these CORRESPONDENTS are CLOSE FRIENDS of mine...

I VALUE their opinions, I RESPECT them, while feeling free to offer A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW...

The thing that makes LUSH STORIES as a RESOURCE so special is that we can HAVE this kind of discussion, discourse and debate with consideration and regard for each other, ALL OF US wishing to SIMPLY make it BETTER!!!

xx Stephen

(We TRY!!!)
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by stephanie
Most of these CORRESPONDENTS are CLOSE FRIENDS of mine...

I VALUE their opinions, I RESPECT them, while feeling free to offer A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW...

The thing that makes LUSH STORIES as a RESOURCE so special is that we can HAVE this kind of discussion, discourse and debate with consideration and regard for each other, ALL OF US wishing to SIMPLY make it BETTER!!!

xx Stephen

(We TRY!!!)
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Magical_felix





I HAVEN"T taken a DRUG in over ten years and as an (EVERY DAY) recovering addict your post offends.

xx SF

(Why BOTHER to explain JUST how FUCKED that is!!!)
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by stephanie


I HAVEN"T taken a DRUG in over ten years and as an (EVERY DAY) recovering addict your post offends.

xx SF

(Why BOTHER to explain JUST how FUCKED that is!!!)


Are you being serious? This time I can't tell.
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
Quote by avrgblkgrl


Disagreeing is your prerogative.
(You know I love you, but you did mention that you were a fired volunteer right?)

Of course we explore these things, the dark side/love/obsession and fixation are also explored elsewhere.
I'm not even going to bother denying it's presence in the poem because I don't think that is the question.
The question is if enough is there to qualify for Lush. If you are saying that it is, I have to disagree my friend--with respect
for both you and the poem. And, I didn't pick up on anything sexual, so why bother going there in this thread.

As far as preferences, it is a little mean to assume that the original Moderator for the poem didn't give it more thought than that.
Nor is it fair to assume that you know where their preferences stand. Hmm...

Keeping all things beneficial, I totally understand how Lonelygirl feels. It happens to the best of us, as Steph admitted.
No one wants you to abandon it or even rewrite it. I wouldn't if it were mine. The Blue Site would welcome it, I'm sure.








Ok I'm confused. I know both sites and post both sites. Reggie, you're the one authority I'd ask about the poetry. Are you saying a love poem here must have sex? Isn't that the erotic poem category? Maybe I'm cutting my own throat here but I have several love poems posted without sexual references. Some with RR.


Ok I'm ready for that drink now. Make it a double. Fuck, just give me the bottle
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Magical_felix


Are you being serious? This time I can't tell.


Look, I'm a EX HEROIN, COCAINE and EX addict... (And I MEAN ADDICT)

I MISS IT LIKE FUCK!!!

(So COMMENTS like YOURS don't help, LOVE...)

You DIDN'T mean it. (YOU HIT A NERVE.)

xx
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by stephanie


Look, I'm a EX HEROIN, COCAINE and EX addict... (And I MEAN ADDICT)

I MISS IT LIKE FUCK!!!

(So COMMENTS like YOURS don't help, LOVE...)

You DIDN'T mean it. (YOU HIT A NERVE.)

xx


I did not know... How would I? I love my drugs as well so I can understand what you are feeling. Do these offend too? So I know not to use them in the future.