There was an epic warrior,
in the far northern reaches, she lived.
Despite shortness of stature,
her long blonde hair and twinkly blue eyes,
accentuated her rare beauty,
that was only exceeded by her fierceness in battle.
Her days as tribal dominatrix,
were finally ended by her capture,
after a monumental battle,
by an invading Roman Legion.
She was subdued and chained,
brought to Rome she was.
The Latins put her in the Arena.
As a gladiator she achieved fame.
Whether man or beast,
she bested them all.
Even the Emperor called her by name.
Patrician or Plebeian, they all cheered, “Spritecus!”
Then one day they scheduled a match.
Spritecus they said, will take on a Greek.
Defiantly she screamed and protested,
“Not in my virgin shiny heinie!”
That’s not what we mean they said.
She heard them not and struck them all.
Having stripped the Romans of their togas,
they were naked, cold, and ashamed,
while Spritecus fled the Arena for Vesuvius.
The Romans begged the Emperor for retribution.
The citizens screamed, “Sieze her!” Seize her!”
The Emperor thought that had a nice ring to it.
Undeterred, Spritecus freed the slaves,
with gladiators for an army, she led,
at the foot of Mount Vesuvius.
But Spritecus’ army finally met defeat.
When confronted by their captors seeking Spritecus,
Buzitecus stood and yelled, “I am Spritecus.”
The captured all pointed at Buzeticus, “Tis she!”
Despite his hairy chest, beard, and long of the dong,
Buzitecus was dragged away by the Legions.
But not before Spritecus thanked Buzeticus,
with a kiss and “It was good while it lasted, stud.”
She escaped while making a curse of revenge upon,
the mountain of Vesuvius to consume the Latins by fire.
Her legendary name grew in fame.
She slipped away to the Far East,
discovering a potion, she became immortal,
learned the secrets of martial arts,
and became a short order fry cook.
Achieving great feats like climbing the Himalayas
and inventing the egg roll.
Spritecus then crossed the great sea
whilst riding a surfboard
and getting tattooed in Hawaii.
She arrived in the Americas,
even before the Vikings,
in the land of the Raiders and the A’s.
Years later in the Wild Wild West,
Spritecus founded a saloon franchise chain and invented go go dancing,
She’d never heard if the potion, she sent to Buzitecus,
upon his escape from the Latins had been received,
That is until a notorious vacationer, Buz Holiday from Georgia
sashayed though the door of her Go Go Saloon.
Spritecus lives even today,
rumor has it that she writes,
stories of butterfly beaches,
and limericks in the stalls of mens bathrooms,
living in the land grunge rock and coffee,
again a dominatrix giving out spankings.
By Buzitecus, Buz Holiday, Buz Bono (does this mean it's a collaboration? haha)
lol - i'm not even sure what to say, other than i'm either flattered, embarrassed, or naked out in your back yard hoping you'll check under my hood. 
take your pick. 
Is Rome burning?
