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Poems by Sprite's Cat

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Quote by SereneProdigy
My Sole Fuckin' Rule

I look like a panther
But I'm a big black cat
Please call me 'mister'
But don't call me fat

When I'm parading
I don't aim to be good
Just want to be king
Of the whole fuckin' hood

Constraints and captivity
Are for those lesser
I leave that stupidity
To my lil' black sister

I strive to be free
Arrogant and cruel
Feed me when need be
Is my sole fuckin' rule

- Bobby, aka SereneProdigy's badass cat




Oh so because he's black he wants to rule the hood?

I'm so sick of these racist Canadians. I swear to god.
Watch Out for my Bro

Watch out for my bro
He's one mean macho
Being his lil' sister
I sure can assert

Whenever we're fed
He starts seeing red
So full of his pride
He tosses me aside

When we're being pet
He thinks I'm a threat
And starts to bite me
I can't purr freely

Watch out dear Cleo
And heed my memo
Bobby is furtive
And so possessive

- Ophelia, aka Bobby's lil' sister


Quote by Magical_felix
Oh so because he's black he wants to rule the hood?

I'm so sick of these racist Canadians. I swear to god.



He's definitely a lot more virile than some wimpy tuxedo kitty-cat. And besides, he's Hungarian, not Canadian.


Quote by SereneProdigy
Watch Out for my Bro

Watch out for my bro
He's one mean macho
Being his lil' sister
I sure can assert



Are you sure you didn't mean to type sistah? Mr. Hungarian Canadian.
Quote by Magical_felix


Are you sure you didn't mean to type sistah? Mr. Hungarian Canadian.


'Sistah' doesn't rhyme with 'assert', dumbass. Besides, I'm a Greek currently living in Norway myself; I only got my cats on a trip to Hungary.
Quote by SereneProdigy


'Sistah' doesn't rhyme with 'assert', dumbass. Besides, I'm a Greek currently living in Norway myself; I only got my cats on a trip to Hungary.


Wait. Sister doesn't either though...

It's forgivable though because who ever heard of a Norwegian Greek Canuck? Who ever heard of short haired black cats in Norway even? I thought it was all forest cats over there.
Quote by Magical_felix
Wait. Sister doesn't either though...

It's forgivable though because who ever heard of a Norwegian Greek Canuck? Who ever heard of short haired black cats in Norway even? I thought it was all forest cats over there.


Life in Norway is definitely a lot more sophisticated than you think it is, dude. Here's a picture taken from outside my window just a few moments ago:


Quote by trinket




That looks like a box of candy bars.



mmm... candy...

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Quote by SereneProdigy


'Sistah' doesn't rhyme with 'assert', dumbass. Besides, I'm a Greek currently living in Norway myself; I only got my cats on a trip to Hungary.


A GREEK living in NORWAY...

Animals writing poetry.

DONALD TRUMP running for President THERE!!!

The RIDICULOUS existence of THONGS???

(The Center Cannot Hold...)

xx SF

The GREEK word for "THANK YOU" is "AFGHANISTAN" seriously... LOOK IT UP.

Liz: "DID YOU THROW IN A YEATS REF!!!???!!!"

Me: "HUSH... Don't make the others feel left out!!!"
Quote by SereneProdigy



He's definitely a lot more virile than some wimpy tuxedo kitty-cat. And besides, he's Hungarian, not Canadian.




I had a tuxedo, and somewhat wimpy cat called Ferenc once upon a time. She wasn't Hungarian mind, despite the name. Its just that my friend Chris who lived in the flat below me (so Miss F had two homes, obvs) is football mad and always wanted a feline of the name of Ferenc Puskat....
Quote by SereneProdigy
Watch Out for my Bro

Watch out for my bro
He's one mean macho
Being his lil' sister
I sure can assert

Whenever we're fed
He starts seeing red
So full of his pride
He tosses me aside

When we're being pet
He thinks I'm a threat
And starts to bite me
I can't purr freely

Watch out dear Cleo
And heed my memo
Bobby is furtive
And so possessive

- Ophelia, aka Bobby's lil' sister




Aw, he reminds me of my beautiful cat. Black with bright green eyes that pop.
Box Dreams

if everyone had a box
as nice as mine
full of tissue and nip
and feathers on twine
then no one would fight
and all wars would end
and people would be happy and free

if i ruled the world
and i almost do
i'd give everyone their own box
to play in and nap in and dream
and feed everyone mice
and make the sun shine
so they'd rub my belly real nice

Cleo el Gato

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

I have heard rumors that people believe the blonde girl writes my masterpieces. I assure you, she is a talent-less hack and incapable of such works of art.
Tribute to Sprite's Cat from my Cat for all the Cats In the World
--And you people that own dogs

(Shameless book plug: Please read "Cat by Cat--The unauthorized addition")


I am a cat
I do cat
You wish you could do cat
But you are not a cat
I am a nice Cat
Nice Cats give warnings
Before nice Cats scratch
That's why this Cat is telling you
The way Cats do
You need to keep your dog ass out of my lane

Love,
AvrgBlkCat (who really isn't black but kinda' grey with black highlights)


? A True Story ?
Quote by Magical_felix


Are you sure you didn't mean to type sistah? Mr. Hungarian Canadian.



Felix (my brother from another mother) tell me right now, am I going to have to put my black paw up someone's a**?

AvrgBlkCat
(Who really isn't black but grey with black highlights depending on if the sun is out or if it is raining.)


(AvrgBlkCat loves selfies)
? A True Story ?
Quote by avrgblkgrl



Felix (my brother from another mother) tell me right now, am I going to have to put my black paw up someone's a**?



Yes, claws out.
The New Couch

The new couch is off limits,
so the blond girl says,
at least for scratching and biting
so i will bite and scratch her instead

The new couch smells funky
and not yet of cat
a day of shedding and napping
will solve that

The new couch has cushions
that aren't yet dimpled and cozy
I am not sure I like it
even though it now belongs to me.

Cleo le Chat

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Black on White

A night thus grim and cold
And twenty sub zero
Has never stopped the bold
Nor the furry hero

The bogus lord dared me
And opened the window
To prove him a dummy
I fled into the snow

See I won't miss a chance
To defy all you fools
Once more I make a stance
As of all rules

Resolute my instinct
I flaunt my feline might
Explicit and distinct
As fuckin' black on white

- Bobby, aka SereneProdigy's badass cat




Note: This isn't my actual cat, but it's really -20°C here and my silly cat dared go outside in the snow for a good fifteen minutes, haha.
My name is John and I was a skunk
A snip here and a snip there and now I am a cat
I don’t smell anymore and no longer spray for fun
But damn I am so good at catching a rat

Milk and Whiskers for breakfast
Dry biscuits for lunch
A long nap in the afternoon
Steak and chips for brunch

It’s such a hard life being a cat
The day is long and the chores I do in a rush
But then there is the evening
When I can login to Lush


RR surely!
Quote by simplyjohn
My name is John and I was a skunk
A snip here and a snip there and now I am a cat
I don’t smell anymore and no longer spray for fun
But damn I am so good at catching a rat

Milk and Whiskers for breakfast
Dry biscuits for lunch
A long nap in the afternoon
Steak and chips for brunch

It’s such a hard life being a cat
The day is long and the chores I do in a rush
But then there is the evening
When I can login to Lush


RR surely!


Great job!

But it's still no Cleo!
A Fish Tale

Ruling over a new home
Is a splendid duty
With each evening roam
A novel discovery

It echoed like a pond
Thus I had to inspect
Still the scene was beyond
All I could expect

The daft human comatose
In nefarious waters
A proper bath I suppose
After endless showers

'Twas all so absurd
Yet time swiftly slowed
As a prey gently stirred
And arose hunter-mode

The marvel galvanized
My eyes, claws and back
But the man horrified
Put a hand on my snack

The stuff seemed so good
Though it felt like a trick
As I soon understood
It was only his dick

- Bobby, aka SereneProdigy's badass cat

(Inspired by recent true events, haha)
i cry tears to the cat god, and she does not listen
i've cried so many tears that my whiskers now glisten
my sister is gone and i am forlorn
we've been together since the day we were born
i'm not sure why the blond wench took her away
i just know that one day a price she will pay
until then i pray to the cat god each night
and vow that i won't be taken without a fight.
The crazy Brit down the road
Hates me with a passion,
She smiles and moves away
As I roll into action
Belly up mewing
She passes without a care!
That's why I lay there plotting,
Acting cute will work one day
I'll ribbon her ankles rotten.
Sprites cat


Running from room to room.
I want to be here, no I need to be there!
My job isn't complete,
until everything is covered in my hair.

And when I finish playing,
it's time for a nap.
But where shall I sleep,
when your hand won't leave your lap?

The thing about sleep is,
I can sleep anywhere.
From the oddest perch,
to your most valuable chair .

Your lap is ideal,
when you're trying to work.
Claws kneading thighs,
until it drives you berserk.

Otherwise your shoe,
or curled up in that box.
The strangely smelling one,
filled with the plastic cocks.

I have such a wonderful life!
I've trained you well.
Now go buy me a collar,
with a shiny silver bell.
Wretched human
Tried to costume me
For her pitiful Facebook page

She dared to adorn
My regal self
For ridicule and embarrassment

I hope the wounds heal
in time for dinner
sardine cans don't open themselves

Tonight human, tonight...