https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-poems/leningrad.aspx
"Hello everyone... Settle down... MOBILE CELL PHONES off PLEASE!!! WHAT??? (Okay then Rachel Sprite can keep her 'phone on in case there is an Editorial Emergency on site... JESUS!)
Today we're going to discuss 'LENINGRAD', a piece I wrote that at least at the time, to paraphrase MEGAN TRAINOR, was all about the base, no trouble... (It took about 15 minutes to write...) Concept (??????) to POST.
As you know, I'm not a REAL writer. I don't think about it very often, I don't edit and I hardly ever PROOF. (I just WRITE...) So WHY 'LENINGRAD'???
I liked the SOUND of the WORD. Quite literally. I WROTE the word and looked at it. No idea where I was going. LENINGRAD. (It's a MUSICAL word...)
So one considers.
WHAT DOES THAT PRETTY WORD CONJURE?
Well, LENINGRAD was a place in SOVIET RUSSIA that no longer exists. I think it's PETROGRAD now or St. Petersburg? But TO ME, LENINGRAD is a SIEGE, a COLD place, a story, a HISTORY, a tragedy, a place of DARKNESS...
So now, as a WRITER, I'm there...
There IS COLD... "I can write my name in my smoky breath..."
The speaker is ALONE... He is LOST. Doesn't know WHY he is here... (WE find out...)
"Her flat is cosy and it's warm..."
AHHHHHH! So it's a TRYST!!!
But WHY??? How do you get FROM THERE TO HERE? (Well, the WORDS AND CHARACTER tell you... He's TROUBLED... Indeed he's APOLOGETIC... WE find out WHY...)
"I never meant you any harm..."
(But he's going to cause harm... To WHO? Not to the girl he allows bring him to her SINGLE bed. Is that relevant? Her's a SINGLE bed? NOT LIKE WITH HIS PARTNER AS WE LATER DISCOVER! They share a larger bed...)
In the TAKING of this (young???) lover, he is conflicted even as he enjoys... "Which only later reminds me of you..." His GUILT ruins this moment...
He indeed discusses it...
"And may God forgive me/Because you won't/And may God Forgive Me/Because I won't...""
He comes home to his girl after his TRYST... Normality now COMPROMISED by his action... "You move across and snuggle me/I hear the sound of my heart break..."
The last lines of the poem are him really talking to HIMSELF, trying to JUSTIFY his own actions... He NEEDS to sort himself out...
What he is doing DOES NOT MAKE HIM HAPPY! (The opposite...) But he is not brave.
But... If as I have truthfully said I started out WITH NO IDEA where I was GOING than WHY did I get THIS??? Well, everyone writes DIFFERENTLY... I follow the WORDS, the CHARACTER... I'm very into the SYNTAX and the PLACING of words, again, it's a lot about rhythm/music with me... THE WORDS WILL TELL YOU WHERE TO GO!!! Let your imagination and your ability see where it takes you...
My POINT with this post is that I GOT AN EP BY ACCIDENT!!! (I had NO IDEA where I was going!!!!)
NO FALSE MODESTY I TRULY DID NOT!!! (But I CRIED after I finished it...) By accident! (Smiles...)
As an artist, a writer, I find your very best is often what you least understand. (This is IN NO WAY my best work IMO...)
I post this to encourage fellow members to just go THERE. (You never know what's gonna make BUCKAROO buck!!!)
Hope that didn't bore you.
xx SF
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How To Win An EP By Accident... (A lecture on writing poetry...)
Sophisticate
Actually, you got the EP because you finally wrote something without using "all caps". Congratulations, Stephen.
Internet Philosopher
Hugs, Steph. You did good.
@ PIPS and MILLIE...
(I thought about WRITING about 'LENINGRAD'...) In the main I thought, 'Would it seem SELF-IMPORTANT, too UPPITY, too MUCH to write about HOW you write???)
Well, perhaps, BUT...
(I think we should try to HELP each other as writers as best we can. IF some of the time IT REALLY IS ACCIDENTAL SMOKE AND MIRRORS, then FUCKING TALK ABOUT THAT! Say, "Well, I don't REALLY know how it works BUT here's what I did...")
I ASKED a few fellow-members, and they said, "No, if you are honest it's a COOL thing to talk about..."
As a WRITER, I'm FASCINATED by how others do it. I simply write to say how I DO IT!!! (If I could do THAT more often then I WOULD!!!) And of course I CANNOT! (Would that I might...)
But I OWE this site much, and I'm happy to share my own process in the hope it might inspire and encourage others.
I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to say I'm as good as what sometimes falls onto my page. (I'm not a TINY BIT that good!!!)
But I guess writers WRITE, for better or worse. And sometimes it HITS! (Who knows WHY???)
If I can do it anyone can.
(If I can do it YOU can...)
xx Steve
(I thought about WRITING about 'LENINGRAD'...) In the main I thought, 'Would it seem SELF-IMPORTANT, too UPPITY, too MUCH to write about HOW you write???)
Well, perhaps, BUT...
(I think we should try to HELP each other as writers as best we can. IF some of the time IT REALLY IS ACCIDENTAL SMOKE AND MIRRORS, then FUCKING TALK ABOUT THAT! Say, "Well, I don't REALLY know how it works BUT here's what I did...")
I ASKED a few fellow-members, and they said, "No, if you are honest it's a COOL thing to talk about..."
As a WRITER, I'm FASCINATED by how others do it. I simply write to say how I DO IT!!! (If I could do THAT more often then I WOULD!!!) And of course I CANNOT! (Would that I might...)
But I OWE this site much, and I'm happy to share my own process in the hope it might inspire and encourage others.
I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to say I'm as good as what sometimes falls onto my page. (I'm not a TINY BIT that good!!!)
But I guess writers WRITE, for better or worse. And sometimes it HITS! (Who knows WHY???)
If I can do it anyone can.
(If I can do it YOU can...)
xx Steve
Scarlet Seductress
'twas good.
Steph: "Is that it? 'twas good? What sort of fucking critique is that?! SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!!"
Me: "Well, I said yes because you didn't use any exclamation marks."
Steph: "Very funny. Come on, I want the truth."
Me: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"
Steph: "I'm seeing a pattern here..."
Steph: "Is that it? 'twas good? What sort of fucking critique is that?! SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!!"
Me: "Well, I said yes because you didn't use any exclamation marks."
Steph: "Very funny. Come on, I want the truth."
Me: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"
Steph: "I'm seeing a pattern here..."
It seems way too good to be true. To win an EP by accident? I find impossible to get even an RR. Granted I don't write poetry except the two I have posted, but still, sounds way too good to be true. The mods seems rather stingy about giving them out to whom don't already have a bunch. Is it easier to actually win an EP overall? Either way, I don't buy it. I'm sure it'll work for someone else though. I'd like to know how to get an RR by accident or just how to get one the normal way. After that, maybe I'll worry about an EP.
Sophisticate
RRs are given out by moderators to work that they think is exceptionally good, work that might not be noticed otherwise. The standard is the quality of the story or poem, not the author or whether they have received an RR or EP before. They are not meant to be handed out indiscriminately. Individual moderators may award them based on their own judgment.
EPs are awarded much less frequently and voted on by a panel composed of some of the site's best writers, not all of whom are moderators. There is also a Series award for a multi-part story that is exceptional. It is voted on by the same panel.
Given that any and all of these are awarded for excellence, it is not surprising that some of the talented writers here have more than one.
I think that Stephen's "by accident" reference was meant to communicate that he was surprised, and maybe that you cannot set out to win anything when you write it except perhaps for a competition entry.
EPs are awarded much less frequently and voted on by a panel composed of some of the site's best writers, not all of whom are moderators. There is also a Series award for a multi-part story that is exceptional. It is voted on by the same panel.
Given that any and all of these are awarded for excellence, it is not surprising that some of the talented writers here have more than one.
I think that Stephen's "by accident" reference was meant to communicate that he was surprised, and maybe that you cannot set out to win anything when you write it except perhaps for a competition entry.
Congrats Steph.xxooxx. I'm.sure it's well deserved.
In-House Sapiosexual
Quote by principessa
I think that Stephen's "by accident" reference was meant to communicate that he was surprised, and maybe that you cannot set out to win anything when you write it except perhaps for a competition entry.
This.
Oh and, congrats Steph. It really is an excellent poem.
? A True Story ?
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by kornslayer1
It seems way too good to be true. To win an EP by accident? I find impossible to get even an RR. Granted I don't write poetry except the two I have posted, but still, sounds way too good to be true. The mods seems rather stingy about giving them out to whom don't already have a bunch. Is it easier to actually win an EP overall? Either way, I don't buy it. I'm sure it'll work for someone else though. I'd like to know how to get an RR by accident or just how to get one the normal way. After that, maybe I'll worry about an EP.
As principessa said, it's just Stephanie's way of saying he's surprised and showing his appreciation over the award. But yeah...it kind of is an accident. Always. RRs, EPs, prizes, publications...it always boils down to the same thing: catching the right mod/editor at the right time in the right mood with the right thing. That's as magical as it gets. Of course, accidents like this are much likelier to happen when a writer has done a certain amount of tedious homework. Stephanie is being very self deprecating about his writing, and yeah, Leningrad's structure is all over the place and even random through most of it. But it won an award because it's got "that thing" that rises above technical shit that means very little in the long run. Stephanie may be a lazy poet, as I am too, but he has a keen ear for the inherent cadence of the English language. Maybe it doesn't hurt to come from a place where people like James Joyce, Samuel Beckett, Yeats, et al, are the major rock stars. The other thing principessa said that pretty much nails everything anyone needs to know about writing is that if you sit down consciously to write something award winning it's probably not gonna happen. It happens when you forget all the peripheral bullshit and just focus on the story, the characters, the heart, the music of the language...poetry or prose. So yeah, it pretty much does happen by accident...and it happens when you're paying attention to something else.
The Linebacker
Steph, 'Leningrad' is a truly superior and awesome piece of writing. You blew it away! In my opinion it's an award long overdue. Congratulations!
Quote by Frank_Lee
As principessa said, it's just Stephanie's way of saying he's surprised and showing his appreciation over the award. But yeah...it kind of is an accident. Always. RRs, EPs, prizes, publications...it always boils down to the same thing: catching the right mod/editor at the right time in the right mood with the right thing. That's as magical as it gets. Of course, accidents like this are much likelier to happen when a writer has done a certain amount of tedious homework. Stephanie is being very self deprecating about his writing, and yeah, Leningrad's structure is all over the place and even random through most of it. But it won an award because it's got "that thing" that rises above technical shit that means very little in the long run. Stephanie may be a lazy poet, as I am too, but he has a keen ear for the inherent cadence of the English language. Maybe it doesn't hurt to come from a place where people like James Joyce, Samuel Beckett, Yeats, et al, are the major rock stars. The other thing principessa said that pretty much nails everything anyone needs to know about writing is that if you sit down consciously to write something award winning it's probably not gonna happen. It happens when you forget all the peripheral bullshit and just focus on the story, the characters, the heart, the music of the language...poetry or prose. So yeah, it pretty much does happen by accident...and it happens when you're paying attention to something else.
Well, thanks for clearing that up. As I've worked with your wife and other mods to try to perfect my work, I've hoped an accident would happen at least once. By now I'm just done waiting. My story https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/the-night-i-saw-my-step-mom-masturbating.aspx, I worked on for over three months and was hoping that it would get an RR.
I worked on it from every angle, but it still wasn't good enough. Before that story and now after, I don't write in hopes to get rewards. I just write what I like to write in the best way I can. I guess I'm saying I agree with you, but it still seems impossible from where I'm sitting.
I've just heard from people that they've notice improvements in my writing, but it doesn't show in votes. A few more nice comments have risen up, but that's it. I just don't have that spark for the right people anyway. It has discouraged me a great deal, but I've done my best to fight it though.
I don't think I'll just be able to let it go forever. Eventually, if I don't get one, I'm at least gonna take a long break from Lush quite frankly. Call me crazy, but I think people would in fact take my writing more seriously if I had just one RR. It is still up to the mods to decide if it gets a blue thumb or not.
My problem is that there is something more I could have done afterwards. Put more drama in, better descriptive words, more defined characters and more shit too. So it gets me when I can't seem to ever get it right when there are no written standards or anything like that. I'm just throwing darts and definitely not hitting a bullseye.
Nerdzilla
Quote by kornslayer1
Well, thanks for clearing that up. As I've worked with your wife and other mods to try to perfect my work, I've hoped an accident would happen at least once.
I've just heard from people that they've notice improvements in my writing, but it doesn't show in votes. A few more nice comments have risen up, but that's it. I just don't have that spark for the right people anyway. It has discouraged me a great deal, but I've done my best to fight it though.
I don't think I'll just be able to let it go forever. Eventually, if I don't get one, I'm at least gonna take a long break from Lush quite frankly. Call me crazy, but I think people would in fact take my writing more seriously if I had just one RR. It is still up to the mods to decide if it gets a blue thumb or not.
My problem is that there is something more I could have done afterwards. Put more drama in, better descriptive words, more defined characters and more shit too. So it gets me when I can't seem to ever get it right when there are no written standards or anything like that. I'm just throwing darts and definitely not hitting a bullseye.
You literally have about four times as many followers as I have so obviously, people love your stuff. RRs and EPs won't necessarily get you more views or votes just as views and votes don't necessarily get you an award. Write because you enjoy it. Read others' stuff, here and in books, and every time you have a wow moment, ask yourself what brought it about. When you see something that stops you as a reader and makes you roll your eyes, remember that. Read about writing as well... there are some great resources on our own "Morgan Hawke's" forum. Learn from it and your writing will grow too. The more you write and apply the craft, the better you'll get.
Every writer chases something(s). One award, more awards, more readers, inner journeys... I'm not sure that the goals end for any of us, but they might take a breather as we lose sight of them and disappear into the lives and plots of our characters and stories, and the themes and voices that carry them.
And sometimes, that's when you get an award. Maybe even accidentally, like Steph did. (I'm stingy but thought his poem was excellent.)
Quote by Delphi
You literally have about four times as many followers as I have so obviously, people love your stuff. RR's and EP's won't necessarily get you more views or votes just as views and votes don't necessarily get you an award. Write because you enjoy it. Read others' stuff, here and in books, and every time you have a wow moment, ask yourself what brought it about. When you see something that stops you as a reader and makes you roll your eyes, remember that. Read about writing as well... there are some great resources on our own "Morgan Hawke's" forum. Learn from it and your writing will grow too. The more you write and apply the craft, the better you'll get.
Every writer chases something(s). One award, more awards, more readers, inner journeys... I'm not sure that the goals end for any of us, but they might take a breather as we lose sight of them and disappear into the lives and plots of our characters and stories, and the themes and voices that carry them.
And sometimes, that's when you get an award. Maybe even accidentally, like Steph did. (I'm stingy but thought his poem was excellent.)
I guess one man or woman's trash is another man's treasure. Also, a lot of those followers came about when Lush allowed the 'I' word. I'm done chasing awards, but it still does get me though when I don't have even one. I agree that you should try to grow, but after a certain amount of growing and not getting anywhere, I just said 'Fuck it, I'm done.' and stopped going after RRs.
I've looked at other's work with them and still tried to make my stuff more like that, but still nothing. I've taken mods advice and worked one on one too. Mostly, I've tried to make my stories realistic, so people could see it happening in real life and not sacrificed my own style, but if it is not good enough for the mods after all the work I put in, I just find that a little depressing and discouraging.
It also goes to show again that I don't have the 'x' factor for them. Non mods may like and even love some of my work, but I'll never have a reward to show it. Not that I need it right now anyway. I'm sure I'll never stop trying to learn, but I may wind up elsewhere in due time.
I'm done chasing anything on Lush, but if I can't ever get anyone to like my work that much, I just don't see much reason to stay forever. That may sound shitty and pathetic, but those are my feelings on the subject.
Quote by kornslayer1
It seems way too good to be true. To win an EP by accident? I find impossible to get even an RR. Granted I don't write poetry except the two I have posted, but still, sounds way too good to be true. The mods seems rather stingy about giving them out to whom don't already have a bunch. Is it easier to actually win an EP overall? Either way, I don't buy it. I'm sure it'll work for someone else though. I'd like to know how to get an RR by accident or just how to get one the normal way. After that, maybe I'll worry about an EP.
I ALWAYS thought my 'A SEXUAL AWAKENING' series deserved an RR at LEAST!!!
(NO accounting for TASTE!!!)
xx SF
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by stephanie
I ALWAYS thought my 'A SEXUAL AWAKENING' series deserved an RR at LEAST!!!
(NO accounting for TASTE!!!)
xx SF
This is your best. https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-poems/how-i-loved-you-then.aspx And to be honest, for my money, it's ten times better than Leningrad. Pretty blue thumb, no EP, which it deserves. This is poetry.
Quote by Frank_Lee
This is your best. https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-poems/how-i-loved-you-then.aspx And to be honest, for my money, it's ten times better than Leningrad. Pretty blue thumb, no EP, which it deserves. This is poetry.
I agree...
(No accounting for taste...)
Since we're talking, 'HOTEL RENDEVOUX' is beyond good. NOTHING.
Fuck It. *SMILES!*
xx Steve
Head Nurse
Ahh, but I like Lenigrad best because it resonates with my real life. Writing has to connect with the reader, if not all the pretty words mean nothing at all. (also I like Bride unveiled much better than hotel rendevoux. but again my reading my choice)
I too have an accidental EP. I set out to write a story for a lovely girl who I wanted to make smile during a hard week. I took a lot of care (dont mistake accidental and quickly written for careless) to share my desire to make her happy. I think it showed throughout the story. I was rather surprised to receive the award though! It certainly made me smile.
sandcastles
I too have an accidental EP. I set out to write a story for a lovely girl who I wanted to make smile during a hard week. I took a lot of care (dont mistake accidental and quickly written for careless) to share my desire to make her happy. I think it showed throughout the story. I was rather surprised to receive the award though! It certainly made me smile.
sandcastles
In-House Sapiosexual
Quote by Delphi
Read others' stuff, here and in books, and every time you have a wow moment, ask yourself what brought it about. When you see something that stops you as a reader and makes you roll your eyes, remember that. Read about writing as well... there are some great resources on our own "Morgan Hawke's" forum. Learn from it and your writing will grow too. The more you write and apply the craft, the better you'll get)
There are a lot of writers here much better than me, but I have to say that Dephi's words are gold Kornslayer. I don't know you, so I glanced at your page. You do say that you don't really read that much. If you want to write well and not get caught in the trap of just self indulgence than you have to read more. I'm not saying this to just you and I'm not accusing you of being indulgent. Please don't misunderstand. In an essay (of sorts) for our sister site*, I bring up a similar point.
If you say that you love writing and you want to write, you have to ask yourself who are you reading? I mean really reading, not just entertaining yourself with. Do you ask yourself, why you read them? Do you examine what makes their writing unique, special, and “good”? Do you reach beyond your comfort zone, reach outside of yourself? We all have what we like to read, just like we have what we like to write. Don’t limit yourself. There are writers that write beyond our grasp or ability, in the present and specifically in the past. Read them, examine them--not so you can copy them but learn from them. It sharpens your eye. Let them intimidate you and examine why. Let the writings of quality writers that have proven themselves provoke you into sharpening your skills. I advise to even let the crappy stuff that may cross your path provoke you as well. Sometimes asking yourself why something sucks can cause you to reexamine what you are doing. Reading is what will help writer’s block. Reading is what will keep you from writing about the same thing over and over again. The list goes on. The most important thing I've learned is that all really good writers are avid readers.
Chase the accolades if that turns you on, but it's like stabbing yourself in the foot. It slows down real progression. You will only frustrate yourself.
*http://www.storiesspace.com/stories/musings/l-is-for-lazy.aspx
? A True Story ?
Top Shot
Quote by Dirty_D
I too have an accidental EP. I set out to write a story for a lovely girl who I wanted to make smile during a hard week. I took a lot of care (don't mistake accidental and quickly written for careless) to share my desire to make her happy. I think it showed throughout the story. I was rather surprised to receive the award though! It certainly made me smile.
You take a lot of care in all of your writing, D. Which reminds me, still haven't seen that blue site story appear in my monthly issue of the American Journal of Nursing...
Want to spend some time wallowing in a Recommended Read? Pick one! Or two! Or seven!
Head Nurse
Quote by HeraTeleia
You take a lot of care in all of your writing, D. Which reminds me, still haven't seen that blue site story appear in my monthly issue of the American Journal of Nursing...
You didnt see the 96 I got on my term paper this semester either
Top Shot
Quote by Dirty_D
You didnt see the 96 I got on my term paper this semester either
You don't tell me anything.
Probably published that blue site piece already and I just missed it. Want to spend some time wallowing in a Recommended Read? Pick one! Or two! Or seven!
Head Nurse
Quote by HeraTeleia
You don't tell me anything.
No time yet. Its on the list, just running short on time and energy
grad school + work + race prepping is taking all my time! Quote by kornslayer1
I guess one man or woman's trash is another man's treasure. Also, a lot of those followers came about when Lush allowed the 'I' word. I'm done chasing awards, but it still does get me though when I don't have even one. I agree that you should try to grow, but after a certain amount of growing and not getting anywhere, I just said 'Fuck it, I'm done.' and stopped going after RRs.
I've looked at other's work with them and still tried to make my stuff more like that, but still nothing. I've taken mods advice and worked one on one too. Mostly, I've tried to make my stories realistic, so people could see it happening in real life and not sacrificed my own style, but if it is not good enough for the mods after all the work I put in, I just find that a little depressing and discouraging.
It also goes to show again that I don't have the 'x' factor for them. Non mods may like and even love some of my work, but I'll never have a reward to show it. Not that I need it right now anyway. I'm sure I'll never stop trying to learn, but I may wind up elsewhere in due time.
I'm done chasing anything on Lush, but if I can't ever get anyone to like my work that much, I just don't see much reason to stay forever. That may sound shitty and pathetic, but those are my feelings on the subject.
Now you listen here young man!
You have no one to blame but yourself.
I offered my help, and you refused, waved me away, thinking I was some kind of incompetent ninny.
I even offered to co-write a story with you and give all the guidance you needed in order to achieve the accolade of RR status.
You are a good writer, but there are certain aspects of your writing that could be improved.
And I'm sure that with a little help you can achieve your writing goals through patience, hard work and perseverance.
Every successful individual knows that his or her achievement depends on a community of persons working together.
-- Paul Ryan
Matriarch
Quote by SITTING
Oh, stop being so bashful. It was an awesome piece!
Winner!
Quote by tiddlywink
Now you listen here young man!
You have no one to blame but yourself.
I offered my help, and you refused, waved me away, thinking I was some kind of incompetent ninny.
I even offered to co-write a story with you and give all the guidance you needed in order to achieve the accolade of RR status.
You are a good writer, but there are certain aspects of your writing that could be improved.
And I'm sure that with a little help you can achieve your writing goals through patience, hard work and perseverance.
Every successful individual knows that his or her achievement depends on a community of persons working together.
-- Paul Ryan
And your story with an RR is where exactly?
Just write for yourself and if people here (including the mods) don't like it, then that's their problem. Work your ass off to perfect your work and post it here. Don't let people discourage you, even if no discouraging words have been spoken. If need be, just tell them the following: Yippie Ki Yay, Motherfucker. - Kornslayer1
Quote by kornslayer1
And your story with an RR is where exactly?
Just write for yourself and if people here (including the mods) don't like it, then that's their problem. Work your ass off to perfect your work and post it here. Don't let people discourage you, even if no discouraging words have been spoken. If need be, just tell them the following: Yippie Ki Yay, Motherfucker. - Kornslayer1
You are being quite beastly and winding me up something rotten.
I was going to reconcile with you. After that derogatory remark, I shan't bother.
Now take heed and skedaddle.
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