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is sexuality a choice?
Head Penguin
I don't think this is as simple as it sounds. I believe sexuality is a continuum and that we all lie somewhere on a line from straight to gay. I also think you can move around a bit on that line. What about paedophiles? Are they born like that or do they get perverted somewhere along the way?
A steamy lesbian three way
Her Royal Spriteness
if sexuality was a choice, i doubt very much that people would choose to be gay, considering the amount of prejudice leveled against homosexuals. trust me, it's not easy being green... um... gay... sorry kermit! 
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Quote by sprite
if sexuality was a choice, i doubt very much that people would choose to be gay, considering the amount of prejudice leveled against homosexuals. trust me, it's not easy being green... um... gay... sorry kermit!
that's true, I def don't want to come out because of the prejudice but If I don't then I would be Living a LIE! I dint choose to be gay but its not at all bad. And Its fun to be who I am!
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by jake_black
that's true, I def don't want to come out because of the prejudice but If I don't then I would be Living a LIE! I dint choose to be gay but its not at all bad. And Its fun to be who I am!
oh, i'm quit happy myself, but really, i was making a point to all those people who think it's a choice. it's like saying being black is a choice or being latino is a choice. it's just stupid.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Detention Seeker
I think you need to look even further back, agreed we are born something we have no choice in. What body we are given may not be the body that we feel perfectly at peace with. It's very similar with sexuality all children experiment in many ways not just sexually. Let's say a girl enjoyed playing with cars by no means does it mean that she will go on to being a mechanic or turn lesbian.
Interesting to ask this question at a time when those who insist that homosexuality is a choice are now seriously in retreat. Of course, when I told a longtime female friend that I'd concluded that I'm bisexual, she opined that based on her experience (marriage, divorce, 30 years plus of nursing) that when it comes to sex just about all guys are sexual omnivores - open to sex with just about anyone and maybe anything! For me, it was a choice not to act upon the indications that I might be bi - actually remember concluding that trying to figure out one gender - women - and how to relate to them was enough of a challenge for one lifetime.
Clumeleon
I think a lot of things influence one's sexual orientation, but I've never been wholly convinced that genetics is one of them. Our sexual preferences are determined, in part, by our environment, our experiences in life and our interactions with other people.
I wrote a lot more but, in a forum environment, I run a high risk of unintentionally offending someone. That doesn't do the discussion any good so I'll leave it at that.
I wrote a lot more but, in a forum environment, I run a high risk of unintentionally offending someone. That doesn't do the discussion any good so I'll leave it at that.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by DanielleX
I don't think this is as simple as it sounds. I believe sexuality is a continuum and that we all lie somewhere on a line from straight to gay. I also think you can move around a bit on that line. What about paedophiles? Are they born like that or do they get perverted somewhere along the way?
Guh, I want to comment on this so badly but I'm going to refrain because I'm still researching the hell out of it. The argument as to whether or not (read: , not child molestation) is a sexual orientation or a (bio/psycho/social) psychiatric disorder (or a combination of the two) is fascinating. Not to mention confusing as hell because both sides make pretty valid (and implausible) points.
*Coughs*
Anyway. OP-- I'm definitely of the agreement that sexuality is not a choice. To be honest, when you consider how anti-homosexuality this world is I doubt there's anyone (or many people, anyway) who'd willingly choose to have to put up with all the bullshit.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by roymunson101
To me the most important question is, Does it matter? Should anyone really be given a hard time for being gay or bi even if it is a choice? Sorry Jake, I know I kind of veered off topic, but I just had to throw my opinion out there.
No, definitely not. Frankly, it's no one's business who someone wants to sleep with or what they choose to be labeled as. Unfortunately, the majority of the world doesn't quite agree with us.
Active Ink Slinger
IMHO, no, it's not.
My cousin told me he realized he was gay when he was 14 ... and didn't want to be ...
After two tours in the Marine Corps (he associated being tough with being straight), and two marriages ... He was still gay
So then he became a born-again Christian, thinking God would "fix" him ....
God apparently had other ideas .....
He was 42 before he finally admitted to himself that he was gay, and nothing was going to change that
My cousin told me he realized he was gay when he was 14 ... and didn't want to be ...
After two tours in the Marine Corps (he associated being tough with being straight), and two marriages ... He was still gay
So then he became a born-again Christian, thinking God would "fix" him ....
God apparently had other ideas .....
He was 42 before he finally admitted to himself that he was gay, and nothing was going to change that
Clumeleon
I want to quickly add that I disagree with everyone who says that no one would choose to be gay because of all the prejudice.
Maybe it's to do with where I live, but the gay people I know just do not come up against very much hate at all. The fact that they're gay rather than heterosexual doesn't have a significant impact on their daily life.
Also, there are TONS of people who are complete drama-seekers, and would happily decide to be gay just to get a rise out of certain people (often their families) and stir the pot.
And you guys have the best parades so...
Maybe it's to do with where I live, but the gay people I know just do not come up against very much hate at all. The fact that they're gay rather than heterosexual doesn't have a significant impact on their daily life.
Also, there are TONS of people who are complete drama-seekers, and would happily decide to be gay just to get a rise out of certain people (often their families) and stir the pot.
And you guys have the best parades so...
Active Ink Slinger
At what point does anything become choice? When the will acts. We can all sit here and deny that ''will'' was acted upon, make excuses, (we were just sitting around and i kissed her and all of sudden we were doing it , ie. ) it doesn't matter where or how the will is acted upon it is still the will that acts. At that point it is choice.
Trying to break down the elements of ''choice'' into a billion bits and analyzing that makes no sense at all. It became choice when the will was acted upon by an action or activity.
The best thing to do in regards to this, for a person's psychological well being, is admit you chose. Otherwise you are indulging in the biggest fantasy that can be presented to yourself.
There is one person on this earth that you absolutely need to be honest with and that is yourself.
Choice can be deliberate, it can be instantaneous, it doesn't matter, you will never be without it.
If you don't recognize that you have no chance of making it through. It is that old, ''personal responsibility," thingie, the teachers, and our authorities, (whomever they are,) used to try to drill into our heads.
Don't avoid it.
Trying to break down the elements of ''choice'' into a billion bits and analyzing that makes no sense at all. It became choice when the will was acted upon by an action or activity.
The best thing to do in regards to this, for a person's psychological well being, is admit you chose. Otherwise you are indulging in the biggest fantasy that can be presented to yourself.
There is one person on this earth that you absolutely need to be honest with and that is yourself.
Choice can be deliberate, it can be instantaneous, it doesn't matter, you will never be without it.
If you don't recognize that you have no chance of making it through. It is that old, ''personal responsibility," thingie, the teachers, and our authorities, (whomever they are,) used to try to drill into our heads.
Don't avoid it.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by sprite
if sexuality was a choice, i doubt very much that people would choose to be gay, considering the amount of prejudice leveled against homosexuals. trust me, it's not easy being green... um... gay... sorry kermit!
Rachel honey, if I had the possibility to chose in another life, I would still chose to be gay... I just can't see myself as anything else!
Active Ink Slinger
I think that this is a very complicated question... for some, like myself, we are born gay. I always knew what I wanted and what I liked. Perhaps my parents had something to do with my sexual orientation when their genes and chromosomes mixed to make me. Having said that, I know for a fact that for others their sexuality comes through past experiences and their environment... but even then, I do not think that they actually had a choice. Once they came in contact with the experience that triggered the behavior or in this case the sexual orientation, that was it, they were either hooked or repelled by the actions of others.
For another group of people, especially bisexuals, they do get to chose between male or female partners... so you see this whole issue is not as easy as you might think, but it is worth talking and discussing
For another group of people, especially bisexuals, they do get to chose between male or female partners... so you see this whole issue is not as easy as you might think, but it is worth talking and discussing
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by TonyZ
Rachel honey, if I had the possibility to chose in another life, I would still chose to be gay... I just can't see myself as anything else!
That surprises me!
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by dpw
That surprises me!
it does? how so?
Story Verifier
I do not believe it is.
My oldest son is gay. He's 54 now, I think, and we noticed it before he was 10. I am straight and I love him. Some of his friends are rather weird though.
Can it be? Probably, I've known several who said they switched, but I think they were gay and did not want to admit it because of family and social pressure.
Does it matter? Not one fricking bit.
My oldest son is gay. He's 54 now, I think, and we noticed it before he was 10. I am straight and I love him. Some of his friends are rather weird though.
Can it be? Probably, I've known several who said they switched, but I think they were gay and did not want to admit it because of family and social pressure.
Does it matter? Not one fricking bit.
I am always a gentleman.
What a very interesting discussion...
I've written upon Lush before about my own experiences and won't bore you all by repetition BUT perhaps in view of the discussion the writings of those who DEFINED themselves as gay or lesbian yet later discovered love, family and indeed sexual fulfillment with a member of the opposite sex might be enlightening.
The English singer and Gay Activist Tom Robinson fell in love and remains happily married to a woman.
The English actor/writer/author Jackie Clune was an avowed lesbian for years before eventually marrying the man who became father to her four children.
In NO WAY do I wish to disparage those who define themselves as exclusively lesbian or gay. Of course not.
I MIGHT suggest that, as society becomes more accepting of sexual difference in terms of traditional models, the NATURE of sexual attraction in terms of gender becomes more complex.
What we can accept is that the concept of romantic and operable love is closely related to sexual attraction and that attraction is not always limited to self-assigned gender codes be they genetic or socially based.
I need not say I presume that Love is the most pleasurable experience in life and must be appreciated and enjoyed wherever and whenever it it received and accepted.
Is sexuality a choice?
I'd have to say probably not. But the wider question is 'Is LOVE a choice?' (And I think we all know it isn't.)
xx Steph
I've written upon Lush before about my own experiences and won't bore you all by repetition BUT perhaps in view of the discussion the writings of those who DEFINED themselves as gay or lesbian yet later discovered love, family and indeed sexual fulfillment with a member of the opposite sex might be enlightening.
The English singer and Gay Activist Tom Robinson fell in love and remains happily married to a woman.
The English actor/writer/author Jackie Clune was an avowed lesbian for years before eventually marrying the man who became father to her four children.
In NO WAY do I wish to disparage those who define themselves as exclusively lesbian or gay. Of course not.
I MIGHT suggest that, as society becomes more accepting of sexual difference in terms of traditional models, the NATURE of sexual attraction in terms of gender becomes more complex.
What we can accept is that the concept of romantic and operable love is closely related to sexual attraction and that attraction is not always limited to self-assigned gender codes be they genetic or socially based.
I need not say I presume that Love is the most pleasurable experience in life and must be appreciated and enjoyed wherever and whenever it it received and accepted.
Is sexuality a choice?
I'd have to say probably not. But the wider question is 'Is LOVE a choice?' (And I think we all know it isn't.)
xx Steph
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by TonyZ
Rachel honey, if I had the possibility to chose in another life, I would still chose to be gay... I just can't see myself as anything else!
yeah, but that's because you've experienced life as a gay man already - if you had the choice, and had no experience as either, and looked around at how gays are, too often, still treated as second class citizens, would the choice be as cut and dried? that's not a rhetorical question, btw, but something to truly consider.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by sprite
yeah, but that's because you've experienced life as a gay man already - if you had the choice, and had no experience as either, and looked around at how gays are, too often, still treated as second class citizens, would the choice be as cut and dried? that's not a rhetorical question, btw, but something to truly consider.
Anything that I answer would be subjective because I can't erase the experiences that I already have, but I like to think that I would still chose to be gay. By the way, I have never been treated as a second class citizen, but then again I've been very lucky to be able to live in a very nice gay community.