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What's the hardest thing about being in a relationship with you?

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sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by Lupus


You're not nuts, you're just very special, precious. *Hugs*


as in, she rides the short bus, wears a helmet, and carries a lunch box special?

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Guest
Lurker
I'm just not that talkative sometimes. I go dead silent for long periods of time and many people find that uncomfortable. I'll respond if addressed, but still, I've been told by many my "detachment" is very tangible.
Ebrit
Active Ink Slinger
Being with me makes it difficult for them to have a relationship with the other guy, so they have a relationship with the other guy instead lol.

I've been single so long now I think I wouldn't really live up to other peoples expectations of being in a relationship.
Dirty_D
Head Nurse
Quote by sprite


as in, she rides the short bus, wears a helmet, and carries a lunch box special?


Illl let you lick my window too smile
Guest
Lurker
I'm quite driven (which I've always considered a strength) but I know that sometimes that means I work and live in a bubble with very little concern given to others and their feelings.
Beffer
Rainbow Warrior
I don't know. They're apparently too scared to point out my flaws! ...or else I'm perfect? ~bats eyelashes~
Guest
Lurker
My ex told me I was to clingy and needed I guess that plus I don't trust easy
HappyEndings
Active Ink Slinger
I want sex too often for most women... Don't get me wrong... I'm loving, attentative, sweet, give great massages, make good money, generous, caring.... blah... blah... blah....

I also love orally pleasuring my partner and pampering them but at the end of the day.... I like sex so much that I tend to wear my partners out.... <sigh>

Don't laugh... It's almost a curse... If I were rich I'd keep several women and just travel between them and do my best to keep them all happy... Now THAT would be heaven... ;)

If you aren't blessed/cursed with an overactive sex drive I don't expect you to understand and no... It's not a brag... I've been that way all my life and it's cost me some good relationships. sad
Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together.... ;)
Soleillalune
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by HappyEndings
I want sex too often for most women... Don't get me wrong... I'm loving, attentative, sweet, give great massages, make good money, generous, caring.... blah... blah... blah....

I also love orally pleasuring my partner and pampering them but at the end of the day.... I like sex so much that I tend to wear my partners out.... <sigh>

Don't laugh... It's almost a curse... If I were rich I'd keep several women and just travel between them and do my best to keep them all happy... Now THAT would be heaven... ;)

If you aren't blessed/cursed with an overactive sex drive I don't expect you to understand and no... It's not a brag... I've been that way all my life and it's cost me some good relationships. sad


You and I have the same curse/blessing

The hardest thing about being in a relationship with me is..

I dispise mundane tasks.. paying bills, grinding coffee beans, folding clothes, peeling carrots.. I've been known to whine and moan, hoping someone will notice and rescue me from dying of boredom.
I'm oblivious to the irritation I cause, Im like that kid you'd like to ring by tne neck, but then they do something sweet and you forgive them, only to have them make you crazy again tomorrow.
HappyEndings
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Soleillalune


You and I have the same curse/blessing

The hardest thing about being in a relationship with me is..

I dispise mundane tasks.. paying bills, grinding coffee beans, folding clothes, peeling carrots.. I've been known to whine and moan, hoping someone will notice and rescue me from dying of boredom.
I'm oblivious to the irritation I cause, Im like that kid you'd like to ring by tne neck, but then they do something sweet and you forgive them, only to have them make you crazy again tomorrow.


Too bad you're in a relationship and too bad we're so far away... sad

We could plumb each other's depths looking for the bottom and hoping to never find it... (wistful sigh)

Take care my friend... smile
Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together.... ;)
Martiann
Active Ink Slinger
I'm a workaholic.
MollyDoll
Southern Charmer
Apparently I'm distant. I tend to withdraw from people because I don't need them around me all the time. I need my alone time. Guys tend to have a hard time with me not needing constant attention or hearing them say I love you everyday all day.

For me, if I consider you a friend or someone that I love I don't need to have it reaffirmed everyday. I feel like they should have faith in me and our relationship. I find it completely exhausting and a huge turn off when someone needs me to constantly reassure them.

I have a new story out! Wish You Were Here A teasing sub may I have pushed too far, but the punishment is oh so sweet.

If you haven't already, please check out my story with leftlingula. A husband and wife rediscovered each other and It all started with one simple word...
Nightshade Part 1 & Nightshade: Part 2
Guest
Lurker
Hmm - reading other people's posts makes me wonder if I'm being subconscious obtuse about myself.

I have a fear of men that I'm slowly growing out of - and by default I take caution when not needed with my husband. In regard to other men it seems more warranted until I know them (which doesn't happen - I don't have men in my life save for my husband and father) Even after all this time, I'm not quite past it. But hubbs knows it and he knows why.

So it might make sense that when I fell in love with someone he was a burly badass looking dude with scars and tattoos all over - When my husband and I are together in public people don't even so much a glance at me. When I go out alone I always feel people staring - and a lot of people have something to say. So he's like my bodyguard.

I also have a hard time accepting other people's psychological issues - that's a huge problem considering several people in my family have serious problems. Mainly, it results in me watching everything I say - no casual jokes or snide comments.
Dancing_Doll
Alpha Blonde
This would be my top-five.

1. Independent - I don't need to be with someone 24/7, nor do I like constant checking-in, curfews or clingy behaviour. It makes me feel suffocated. overwhelmed and it also makes me feel like I'm not trusted. I love being with the person I'm with, but I also need space to do my own thing, see my own friends etc. but still know/feel that the connection is still there.

2. I'm not romantic - and I say this in terms of 'traditional romance' - poetry, cutesy V-day cards, snuggly-baby-talk, pet names, effusive complements and "I love you's", gag-worthy PDA. With me, a little goes a long way and too much is either a turn-off or will make me laugh because I can't take it seriously. I like 'romance' or 'connecting' when done in a fun, lighthearted way or a passionate way. When it's overly sweet or cheesy, I feel like I want to withdraw.

3. I don't like conflict - I could never be with someone that likes to "fight hard and love hard". I cannot do shouting matches or heated arguments where mean words are traded and then just shrugged off later. When someone says something that hurts me, it cuts deep and the effects linger. For me - conflict resolution means conversation. When I *am* that angry, I prefer to cool down before getting into it. And I will admit - I often brush things off or avoid conflict - probably to my own detriment - just because I don't like dealing with it unless absolutely necessary. I've actually had a guy say that I was *too* easy-going by not calling him out on his shit and making him feel like I didn't care either way. He wanted a girlfriend that would 'keep him in line' and that's just not my style.

4. It's difficult to get me to be vulnerable - it takes a lot for me to open up to someone emotionally. They may think I've really opened up but it's often an illusion. Being vulnerable means I could possibly get hurt. Getting to that point is a rarity because I have certain emotional safeguards in place. This is because I've been cut to the bone before and I hate the risk involved with possibly going back to that dark place again. Stemming off this, while it takes *a lot* to truly upset me, when someone does hit that level with me and I see a glimpse of potential for that dark place, I will just shut down and walk away completely. I can become instantly cold and detached once I see something as a dead end or once something feels too emotionally risky for me (in a negative way). I'm not one of these "I need closure" girls - I don't like dragging things out if I know it's not going to work.

5. Commitment-phobic - this is kind of related to the 'vulnerability' bit and maybe even the missing romance-gene - I'm a little jaded when it comes to human relationships and their longevity. I also hate labels, especially when they're premature. So... while I can be committed, it's difficult for me to think of long-term or feel assured something is going to go the distance. I'm more of a take it one week at a time rather than fixating on notions of 'soul mates' or what the future will look like.
Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by Dancing_Doll
This would be my top-five.


I've heard that there's so many goddamn nail polish bottles and sex toys scattered around the place, that your fellas either end up with bubblegum-pink speckles on their clean white shirts, or inferiority complexes.



(I'm a total nightmare to live with, too. Clare's always telling me off.)

In answer to the OP, it's probably my insatiable need to bounce around the apartment. Full of energy, me.

L x
Dancing_Doll
Alpha Blonde
Quote by Liz


I've heard that there's so many goddamn nail polish bottles and sex toys scattered around the place, that your fellas either end up with bubblegum-pink speckles on their clean white shirts, or inferiority complexes.



(I'm a total nightmare to live with, too. Clare's always telling me off.)

In answer to the OP, it's probably my insatiable need to bounce around the apartment. Full of energy, me.

L x


Oh... well, yeah... if we're talking practical reasons I suck at relationships - I have a lot of 'stuff', I hog the bathroom, my drawers aren't all neatly folded and I hate cooking.

Thank god I'm good at fucking, otherwise probably no guy would want to bother with me at all.
Guest
Lurker
I hate sugar coating people and I cannot stand if someone is doing that to me. Say it as you see it please.
Second thing is that I love to analyse pretty much everything! I love to know the 'why' answers about pretty much everything what is going on in life I share with other people.
And the third thing is that I need and don't hesitate to take, I time. I love my people, but I love myself most.

I am difficult in relationships and it doesn't mater if it is friendships, partnerships or among family, first two things drive everyone crazy.
ShannonHeartsYou18
Active Ink Slinger
I was never very good at opening up and showing my true emotions to people, but being in this relationship, she has helped me open up more.
She has encouraged me to open up and put my trust in her, which i found really hard to do before.
She has understood all the crap that happened in the past and helped me move past it too.
She has stood by me when i needed help and when most people would have left because it was the easier option.

To be honest, she has helped me so so much , i have quit a few faults in my eyes, but to her she sees me as something so much better.
Nikki703
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Dancing_Doll


Oh... well, yeah... if we're talking practical reasons I suck at relationships - I have a lot of 'stuff', I hog the bathroom, my drawers aren't all neatly folded and I hate cooking.

Thank god I'm good at fucking, otherwise probably no guy would want to bother with me at all.


HAHA. For most guys I have ever known, the order of importance has always been

Fucking > Low Maintenance > Cooking > Neatness > Sensitivity > Romance > Intelligence

I included all sexual skills under Fucking, if they are taken separate Oral Skills trumps them all! HAHA
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
What Dani said (and I guess a little of what Ashleigh said as well): I try to avoid conflict, perhaps to a fault, and then sort of shut down and retreat for a time, which can be -I'm told - incredibly frustrating. When I come back out of my corner, I do so as chill and non confrontive as I can, usually with some kind of solution, whether it's me apologizing or some new way of trying to make things work. So I guess you could say overly analytical would be another annoying trait.

Of course, these days that's pretty hypothetical. I'm kinda married to the endless treadmill of single-Daddy-dom. I imagine the hardest thing these days would be how little emotion/attention I have left to spend by the end of the day. Some day we'll find out, I suppose. Still finding my sealegs.
Smoocher
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Dancing_Doll


Oh... well, yeah... if we're talking practical reasons I suck at relationships - I have a lot of 'stuff', I hog the bathroom, my drawers aren't all neatly folded and I hate cooking.

Thank god I'm good at fucking, otherwise probably no guy would want to bother with me at all.



OK, Doll...I'm calling your hand on this one. Yes, you are cute/beautiful, smart/intelligent, sexy as heck, and have a huge following of friends and readers, but It is YOUR BRAIN and clarity of communicating that I see as so important along with your willingness to help others. As far as being "good at fucking" is concerned ... well ...that might be of great importance to some folk looking for a "relationship" with you, but your other traits are so important. In my considered opinion, you sell yourself way too short with this comment.

Rick ... one of your many friends on your list and damn proud of it!!
Guest
Lurker
My insecurities & my disability. I don't want to keep others from living out their dreams
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
Quote by Dancing_Doll
This would be my top-five.

1. Independent - I don't need to be with someone 24/7, nor do I like constant checking-in, curfews or clingy behaviour. It makes me feel suffocated. overwhelmed and it also makes me feel like I'm not trusted. I love being with the person I'm with, but I also need space to do my own thing, see my own friends etc. but still know/feel that the connection is still there.

2. I'm not romantic - and I say this in terms of 'traditional romance' - poetry, cutesy V-day cards, snuggly-baby-talk, pet names, effusive complements and "I love you's", gag-worthy PDA. With me, a little goes a long way and too much is either a turn-off or will make me laugh because I can't take it seriously. I like 'romance' or 'connecting' when done in a fun, lighthearted way or a passionate way. When it's overly sweet or cheesy, I feel like I want to withdraw.

3. I don't like conflict - I could never be with someone that likes to "fight hard and love hard". I cannot do shouting matches or heated arguments where mean words are traded and then just shrugged off later. When someone says something that hurts me, it cuts deep and the effects linger. For me - conflict resolution means conversation. When I *am* that angry, I prefer to cool down before getting into it. And I will admit - I often brush things off or avoid conflict - probably to my own detriment - just because I don't like dealing with it unless absolutely necessary. I've actually had a guy say that I was *too* easy-going by not calling him out on his shit and making him feel like I didn't care either way. He wanted a girlfriend that would 'keep him in line' and that's just not my style.

4. It's difficult to get me to be vulnerable - it takes a lot for me to open up to someone emotionally. They may think I've really opened up but it's often an illusion. Being vulnerable means I could possibly get hurt. Getting to that point is a rarity because I have certain emotional safeguards in place. This is because I've been cut to the bone before and I hate the risk involved with possibly going back to that dark place again. Stemming off this, while it takes *a lot* to truly upset me, when someone does hit that level with me and I see a glimpse of potential for that dark place, I will just shut down and walk away completely. I can become instantly cold and detached once I see something as a dead end or once something feels too emotionally risky for me (in a negative way). I'm not one of these "I need closure" girls - I don't like dragging things out if I know it's not going to work.

5. Commitment-phobic - this is kind of related to the 'vulnerability' bit and maybe even the missing romance-gene - I'm a little jaded when it comes to human relationships and their longevity. I also hate labels, especially when they're premature. So... while I can be committed, it's difficult for me to think of long-term or feel assured something is going to go the distance. I'm more of a take it one week at a time rather than fixating on notions of 'soul mates' or what the future will look like.


Ashleigh,
Somehow I knew you would have the most detailed answer. For a person that that has trust and vulnerability issues, you have revealed a lot. This almost sounds like a warning sign at the beach. CAUTION! Enter at your own risk. As a author your writings are almost intoxicating. Your characters alluring and real. I imagine a trail, a trail of broken hearts. I like the way you categorized your life in five divisions. I will use your format.

1. Independence - like most people, I like to see myself as independent. The older I get I realize that is an illusion. People need people. We are social creatures. If we don't need people we have a tendency to use people. I think the trick in any successful relationship is finding the balance of need vs. autonomy.

2. Romance - This one puzzled me a bit. Your views on "traditional" romance seemed to be contrary to what most great authors, (which you are), see and feel about life in general. For me, I love the romantic aspect of a relationship. The part that says, "you are with the effort." I will sacrifice for you, because you are special. Yeah, I'm the kind of guy that opens car doors and stops on my home, at the cheesy roadside stand, to get the bundle of flowers. I find there is an unspoken romance within us all that has been with us since our childhood. Those summer evenings chasing fireflies by the river, or Just sitting down and taking the time to use all our senses and enjoy the music of life.

3. Conflict - This could not be closer to my feelings. I detest conflict! I make it a mission to avoid it. Avoidance, compromise, whatever it takes. A peaceful life is my absolute goal. I will let you know if I ever find it. Unfortunately, as a business owner, conflict was my daily routine. Day in and day out. So after work, I would have to take a stroll on the beach and down a beer to wind down after work. I didn't want my business conflict to intermix with my home conflict. Sigh.

4. Vulnerability - you express yourself so honest here it almost hurts, which I sense that has happened on more than one occasion. "Risk" is always in the mix. I relate in my life to that pain of having let someone in to only end up used and abused. Broken trusts make us all cautious and guarded. I'm no different. But the romantic fool I am I keep on testing the waters. As a surfer I gain a lot of my philosophy from that. It seems the bigger the risk the better the ride. If I let those that hurt me dictate my life then, they win. My life is not going to be known for the "wipeouts." I will paddle out for another set. You are obviously intelligent, beautiful, and talented beyond measure. I hope you find that special person to share those gifts with. Someone worthy of dropping the barriers.

5. Commitment - Nothing worthwhile in life happens without commitment and that is across the board. Personal, professional, or play. But again, all the other four categories come into play with this one. For me its so much easier to commit to education, a profession, or a sport than commit to person. As soon as I bring another person in the mix then there are all those trust and vulnerability issues to deal with. Again, my insufferable comparison to surfing. Any surfer knows there is that split second decision wether to commit to the wave or back out. A right decision and you are in for a thrill but a wrong decision is going to mean your pounded. What I am not so eloquently saying is, it starts with commitment. No commitment no pain, but also no joy.
Guest
Lurker
I am a people person, so love to chat to anyone. Flirty would best describe me. I mean no harm by it, but I guess some men can not handle it. But in saying I am flirty, I am also faithful if in a solid relationship. I am also very independent, you have to be growing up in a house full of men. My 5 brothers taught me to be independent and look after myself.
Dancing_Doll
Alpha Blonde
Quote by asleep



OK, Doll...I'm calling your hand on this one. Yes, you are cute/beautiful, smart/intelligent, sexy as heck, and have a huge following of friends and readers, but It is YOUR BRAIN and clarity of communicating that I see as so important along with your willingness to help others. As far as being "good at fucking" is concerned ... well ...that might be of great importance to some folk looking for a "relationship" with you, but your other traits are so important. In my considered opinion, you sell yourself way too short with this comment.

Rick ... one of your many friends on your list and damn proud of it!!


Aw, thanks Rick - you're so sweet. But don't worry, I was just kidding around with that comment. ;)
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Nikki703


HAHA. For most guys I have ever known, the order of importance has always been

Fucking > Low Maintenance > Cooking > Neatness > Sensitivity > Romance > Intelligence

I included all sexual skills under Fucking, if they are taken separate Oral Skills trumps them all! HAHA


LOL...personally I would move intelligence up to 2 and cooking to 3!

I'm tempted to start a thread that for people to rank themselves.

oh, and the hardest thing about being in a relationship with me is probably putting up with my curiosity and questions.
Soleillalune
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by jeremiahbull


LOL...personally I would move intelligence up to 2 and cooking to 3!

I'm tempted to start a thread that for people to rank themselves.

oh, and the hardest thing about being in a relationship with me is probably putting up with my curiosity and questions.


I love your beautiful mind.. And your curiosity and questions mesh well with my secret desire to be the center of the universe.. Even if it's just your universe
Guest
Lurker
The most, difficult thing about me is that I push people away. Many of my closest loves ones have told me that I am a very private person to the point where it is bewildering. I've never been a popular person yet I find people want to be around me. And I tend to push them away with my distantness. I don't know why just the way I am I guess. The best about me by far is that I am honest.

Dancing_Doll, romance is all about being in the moment. It doesn't have set rules or guildlines that's part of being romantic. You just can't follow some steps and be a super lover. To be romantic it all depends on the other person. In other words you have to know the person. Some people don't like picnics on the lake. Some people don't find riding their man, long-stroke style while soft music plays in the background to be that pleasing. Some people thinkthe most romantic thing a lover can do for them is make them laugh. While others would think laughing is just laughing. But truth be told romance and being romantic is about being able to turn your partner on and keep them on. The thing is everyone turns on differently. On a side note Dancing_Doll if that is really you in that pic then you're a down right babe. If not you could still be a looker. Back on topic, being romantic one has to be eye to eye with the other person so to speak in order for the gesture to fit the person that the gesture is being demonstrated for.
I don't ever talk like this in real life because woman would get the wrong idea. They would think I was some god lover. My mom always taught me to be kind, to the older, and women. You know, if you are walking on a sidewalk and their is a woman their too you always take the outside. Open doors and other things like that. People I find that when I do these things a lot of the time women think it is me putting game on. Like I am trying to get their attention or get at them. I am not. I would show the same kindness if you weren't young and beautiful and I do. My point is a lot of times me being kind is a lot of times seen as a gesture of romance. Why, I have no clue. The point is the most unromantic thing can be romantic if the person receiving it deems it so.
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