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What's it like to get your arsehole bleached ?

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Lurker
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Just wondering.
Lurker
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oops, wrong thread.. I have no idea how I got into this one LOL
Active Ink Slinger
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No idea, but I suspect the spin cycle and tumble dry cycle wouldn't be fun.
Lurker
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Quote by MrLosAngeles
No idea, but I suspect the spin cycle and tumble dry cycle wouldn't be fun.



That made me snort my coffee. Not a good look.
Clever Gem
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Step 1: Fill washing machine with bleach
Step 2: Shove ass in washing machine
Step 3: Protect other private areas to prevent spotting
Step 4: Turn "spin cycle" on high (for best results)
Step 5: Drip dry until damp
Step 6: Blow dry excess moisture

*BLEACH WITH CAUTION*

Tips:

- Gel bleach is preffered for extra lubrication and a more precise bleaching
- If you use generic bleach and have issues, just simply SHOUT IT OUT!
- Febreeze anus if bleach smell is overwheling or hindering your chances of getting some action

Side Effects:
-Chaffing
- Bruising (due to the washing machine now up your ass)
- Un-fuckableness if done wrong
- Could abort a pregnancy if bleach is inserted in wrong hole. (Remember, this is an anal procedure)
- This can be a dangerous sport for anyonewith Anal Obsessive Disorder (AOD)

- You are officially a Fucktard if you attempted this mission

*Contact your doctor or mother, whichever one gives better advice, before attempting anal bleaching
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
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Quote by crazydiamond

*Contact your doctor or mother, whichever one gives better advice, before attempting anal bleaching


I was thinking maybe a therapist myself...

Btw Crazy-D, looks like you wrote the instruction manual for this procedure out pretty thoroughly...I have nothing to add here...

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Active Ink Slinger
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I prefer OxyClean to bleach. Whitens just as well and safer for environment!


Active Ink Slinger
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Hilarious stuff..what's next, consumers? WD-40 as a sexual lube?
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Nikki703
I prefer OxyClean to bleach. Whitens just as well and safer for environment!




Thanks for the pic of Billy Mays. He was a real hoot! Gone before his time. Here's to you Billy!
The Linebacker
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Quote by MrLosAngeles
Hilarious stuff..what's next, consumers? WD-40 as a sexual lube?


There's a thread around here somewhere dedicated to WD-40 as a sexual lube. I prefer the squeeze can rather than the spray can. That stuff hurts if you spray it in your eye or get some up your nose.NyBoUCbkk8CFKsOo



I can't imagine that asshole bleaching is good for your health. And who does that? Is there a roadside stand somewhere with a sign that says:

Hot Boiled Peanuts & Asshole Bleaching
Active Ink Slinger
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Can you use those tooth whitening strips to bleach your asshole?
Alpha Blonde
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You need to avoid lightening formulas that contain Hydroquinone. There is some controversy around it being a carcinogen and it was relied upon during the early days of anal bleaching because it's a very fast and potent lightening agent. There are gentler formulas that take several weeks (self-application) to see the desired result. Many salons will bring you in to show you how to apply it properly for an initial session and then will provide you with the product and send you home so you can apply it yourself over several weeks until you're happy with the colour. It's probably a healthier/safer bet to do this rather than the harsher chemicals used for faster effect.
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Quote by Dancing_Doll
You need to avoid lightening formulas that contain Hydroquinone. There is some controversy around it being a carcinogen and it was relied upon during the early days of anal bleaching because it's a very fast and potent lightening agent. There are gentler formulas that take several weeks (self-application) to see the desired result. Many salons will bring you in to show you how to apply it properly for an initial session and then will provide you with the product and send you home so you can apply it yourself over several weeks until you're happy with the colour. It's probably a healthier/safer bet to do this rather than the harsher chemicals used for faster effect.


Do I even need to ask how you know this Ash?
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Scarlet Seductress
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Quote by Dudealicious


Do I even need to ask how you know this Ash?


I was just thinking the same...
Alpha Blonde
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Quote by Dudealicious


Do I even need to ask how you know this Ash?


It's just part of Anal Education 101.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Dancing_Doll
You need to avoid lightening formulas that contain Hydroquinone. There is some controversy around it being a carcinogen and it was relied upon during the early days of anal bleaching because it's a very fast and potent lightening agent. There are gentler formulas that take several weeks (self-application) to see the desired result. Many salons will bring you in to show you how to apply it properly for an initial session and then will provide you with the product and send you home so you can apply it yourself over several weeks until you're happy with the colour. It's probably a healthier/safer bet to do this rather than the harsher chemicals used for faster effect.


Has anyone here had this done or know someone who had it done at a salon? Not much embarrasses me but I dont think I could go to a salon and ask to have this done. Luckily Im quite happy with how mine looks, LOL!.

Im really curious what the job title would be of the person who does this? Anal Lightening Technician? Asshole Whitener? LOL
Lurker
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I've nothing to add, but I have to say that I love the phrasing of this question. It makes me laugh, which is never a bad thing.
The Linebacker
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It might not be wise to light a match back there until it heals up. So you might want to wait a week or so before lighting farts to entertain at parties.
Active Ink Slinger
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Excellent topic!!! I needed a good laugh after today... You folks are awesome!!
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Gingerbread Lover
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Apparently, anal bleaching is becoming more popular. I was watching some programme on Channel 4 late one night, about obscure beauty treatments, and they said more people wanted a prettier bumhole. A lot of porn stars and models have it done, but they interviewed a man and a woman who independently said they liked the fact that they knew they looked, and therefore felt, cleaner.

It's not something I'd want to do, personally, but we're all different, I guess.
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Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
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Quote by Nikki703


Im really curious what the job title would be of the person who does this? Anal Lightening Technician? Asshole Whitener? LOL


I think the other question that comes to mind is which university offers the required degree to get certified to be a Butt Bleaching Technician...

These are questions that are just too deep for my mind...

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Alpha Blonde
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Quote by Shylass
Apparently, anal bleaching is becoming more popular. I was watching some programme on Channel 4 late one night, about obscure beauty treatments, and they said more people wanted a prettier bumhole. A lot of porn stars and models have it done, but they interviewed a man and a woman who independently said they liked the fact that they knew they looked, and therefore felt, cleaner.



Pretty much all the porn stars do it (both anal and genital bleaching). Nobody's asshole is naturally perfect and 'petal pink'. It's a visual trick obviously, but still effective. If they're doing a zoom-in anal scene you want a colour palette that's pleasing to the eye and gives the illusion that nothing has ever gone in and out of that pristine little knot other than hard cock.

Anal bleaching is pretty common these days for the masses too. I mean if you're going in to the salon to get a full brazilian by a waxing technician as it is, getting a little colour lift while you're at it isn't a big deal. There's no room for shame. Once you're spread-eagled on the table or knees pushed up to your shoulders while someone tends to the pussy, it's a slippery slope to trying the 'next' treatment on the salon menu.
Constant Gardener
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If I were going to go down this road, I'd want to ensure permanence...so bleaching would be a test choice. Sort of like scribbling 'I LOVE LUSH' across my chest with magic marker, snapping a webcam photo and sending it to DD to prove I was the moron she has actually been talking to for almost three years.

Just go for the full anal tattoo job. Get off the porch and run with the big dogs.
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Alpha Blonde
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Think about it this way. Assuming both these desserts are made with the same ingredients and will ultimately taste the same, which anal cupcake would you rather eat?

Anal Cupcake #1:




Anal Cupcake #2:





See, aesthetics can be important...
God Empress of Lush
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Oh lordy...I just so did not need to see those just before going to sleep...bad dreams on the way ;(

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Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Dancing_Doll
Think about it this way. Assuming both these desserts are made with the same ingredients and will ultimately taste the same, which anal cupcake would you rather eat?

Anal Cupcake #1:




Anal Cupcake #2:



See, aesthetics can be important...


Either one
Orgasm Aficionado
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I don't know - my boyfriend would make a terrible blonde smile
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Dancing_Doll


Pretty much all the porn stars do it (both anal and genital bleaching). Nobody's asshole is naturally perfect and 'petal pink'. It's a visual trick obviously, but still effective. If they're doing a zoom-in anal scene you want a colour palette that's pleasing to the eye and gives the illusion that nothing has ever gone in and out of that pristine little knot other than hard cock.

Anal bleaching is pretty common these days for the masses too. I mean if you're going in to the salon to get a full brazilian by a waxing technician as it is, getting a little colour lift while you're at it isn't a big deal. There's no room for shame. Once you're spread-eagled on the table or knees pushed up to your shoulders while someone tends to the pussy, it's a slippery slope to trying the 'next' treatment on the salon menu.


I MUST remember to ask for this when I go in for my brazilian on Saturday. Can I choose what shade of pretty petal pink I want my bumhole to be?