I always thought I would say those magical words "I love you" to a man before I had sex with him. But that has never happened. I have no trouble sleeping with a man I just met, but it takes me months to be comfortable in saying "I love you" to my partner.
What about you? If you're in a relationship now, which did you do first? If you're single, which usually comes first for you? Does it take a long time to say the L word?
I have to admit that it was sex first with my wife of 25 years. Still remember that first time like it was yesterday too!
"Being male is a matter of birth.
Being a man is a matter of age.
Being a gentleman is a matter of choice."
I think it's a romantic idea to be in love before having sex, however, I don't think that's the case most of the time. For me at least, sex brought me closer to saying I love you to my husband. But with other men, it was just a way to become more intimate, closer to them.
I have to totally agree with CherryRedGirl.... Easy for me to have sex with someone...But to say them 3 words... That takes awhile....Then awhile after that....Learn the lesson the hard way and will not jump again!!!
I'm single. Regardless, sex comes first. The physical is way easier to deal with than the emotional.
Saying "I love you" and actually meaning it takes me ages.
Sex has come first in the past. Although, I do give much thought about the sex part, it often comes down to a want. The "I love you" part, when said, is a deeply heartfelt and honest statement with absolutely no selfishness, not having anything to do with want.
If I do not feel I have some kind of "loving" connection with a lady, I won't have sex with her. Yes, I know I am different.
what a great question! i've never had sex with someone i haven't loved (at some point), but i've never said i love you before having sex.
Sex of course, love take a long time. But sex can be just for tonight and maybe not that long.
Is love really necessary before we can have sex?
Strange way to live.
For me there has to be real degree of emotional involvement, lets call it serious liking, to be physically close with someone. However I love different people in different ways, so its not necessarily about exclusivity.
Sex first, for me love grows more slowly over time.
Sex. Otherwise "I love you" is on a friendship level which always leads to sex.
I've been married twice, both times to virgins. So my track record says love first. However, that didn't assure an unbreakable relationship. I do believe sex and love are very different emotions and are amazing together. However, not exclusive to one another.
Sex is always first for me. All my relationships are purely sexual, I do not wish to fall in love any more.
Sex - definitely.
I take the "L" word pretty seriously and don't really throw it around prematurely. It would take many months to really fall in love, and not just fall in lust or get giddy off the high of maybe having found a life-changing connection.
I think when you're connecting or in the stages of falling in love, you can't really hold back and that includes physical/sexual expression as well as the emotional. I prefer things to happen naturally - they're more authentic that way. At least then you know it means something when you say it and isn't something you're tricking yourself into believing just so you can finally get to the dirty.
Oh, THE SEX...
(Otherwise HOW can you know???)
The person I'VE LOVED most in my life.... (Well, the SEX was like two bicycles dancing...) And we TRIED at it longer than we SHOULD have... BOTH of us had pretty much been GOOD at THAT before!!! (It just never CLICKED...)
So yeah... If the SEX don't work, you're SCREWED... (Badly, as it happens...)
xx Steve
SEX came first, but there was definitely a "mental / emotional connection" first!!
Sex definitely comes first. You could like a person a lot but I think for that intense feeling of 'I love you' you definitely need the sexual bond to form that feeling of love.
Love takes time it just doesn't happen. It's almost like an onion many layers to get to that true feeling.
Hugs,
Mysteria
Xo
"Sevişmek sevmekten gelir" =with bad translation===> Sex come from love
Definitely sex. And that doesn't mean that I prioritize 'sex' over 'love', it just means that sex is a lot more common/rudimentary to me than deep signs of affection such as "I love you". Maybe for some people having sex is a great proof of commitment (much similar to saying "I love you"), but for me it's just a fun thing to do during the process of getting to know someone... up to that point where I can be legitimately convinced that I truly love my partner (which doesn't happen all that often for me, despite the fact that I still distinctly appreciate the women that I sleep with). And for me, sex also tremendously helps to build a connection with someone; I'm not quite convinced that I could reach the point of 'loving' a girl without previously having sex with her, the connection probably just wouldn't be there.
To each his own, but I honestly feel sorry for those who'll respond that "I love you" comes first: either you really won't have a lot of sex in your life, or you'll likely throw many inauthentic "I love you"s at just about anybody.
Whichever feels right. I haven't any hard and fast rules yet... Maybe gimme me a couple more years.
