Rough/forceful sex?

Quote by Christie


IMHO it's when your partner won't take no for an answer. To some degree or another the sex has to be non-consensual in some way or another and there's resistance or reluctance on the part of one partner.

That partner is then forced to submit.

And just writing that makes me

Quote by Dancing_Doll
Rough sex is one of those areas that's up for personal interpretations and those interpretations vary widely across the board.

I enjoy it - rough, intense, dominant, consuming, nearly overwhelming hard sex. Not always, but sometimes. A guy that understands how hard to push things without veering too far over the edge is a wonderful thing. Some guys are just uncomfortable with it, and I get it, however if a girl loves it hard and rough, it's worth talking it through and finding out her personal preferences and boundaries.

Mrs Rabbit had a great post outlining some of the things that make for great 'moderate level' rough sex, which is what I enjoy too:

- hard to occasionally violent thrusts
- some hair pulling (aways tug near the base of the scalp, that's important, don't do it like a third grader pulling a girl's ponytail at recess)
- pussy/ass slaps
- being pinned down, pushed up against a wall, having arms restrained, controlling her movement - I love the physicality of this.
- face sitting (yes!)
- spitting (make sure it's in the moment at the right intensity level and she's in that nearly over the edge 'fuck me like a dirty slut' moment)
- more intense dirty talk - not the 'naughty' stuff - make it filthy!
- choking (not to the point of blackout - you need to learn how to do this properly before attempting and always underplay if you don't know how to do it. Even hands around the throat will suffice for most guys if you're unsure).
- face-fucking with some gagging, cum/spit dripping down chin (this is a personal preference thing. you have to make sure the girl is into it before proceeding).
- with all this stuff it has to feel 'in the moment' and when the intensity levels reach the right peak, not like running through a rough sex checklist. Treat the woman like an instrument you're playing - watch for the cues - build on the intensity level - know when to pitch and pull back.

Things I don't like:
- fish-hooking (whoever the fuck created this ridiculous porn move?? I hate even seeing it)
- turning an intense rough but *controlled* experience into an *out of control* violent one. The key is for the guy to always, always, always be in control, even when it appears he's not. He needs to constantly be checking in with his partner, reading cues and being prepared to scale back if it's too much. Safe words are a good idea too if you like to push the edge a lot.
- anything that is going so far as to leave real marks, cause real pain, break the skin - no, no, no - unless you're into the S&M domain.
- anything overly degrading like dunking (in a toilet or a tub), restricting breathing to the point of blackout
- real slapping or hitting - especially anywhere near the face
- wrecking a hole (pussy or ass) - skipping lube, causing serious pain or damage. Stretching or gaping. Definitely not for me.

** Note: some girls like the things I don't like but I would consider those more extreme rough sex elements and I think for those - you'd definitely need some proper communication dialogue and limits worked out ahead of time

Anyway - I think most girls will agree that they don't want it rough all the time and they don't want it to the same intensity all the time. I also don't think it's wise to push the levels of rough sex without knowing up front if the girl is into it. That could be scary. There is some level of trust required with some of the rougher elements. I also have to really be into the guy - to the point that I want to give myself over that way. I think if a guy starts with the basics, ass-slapping, pinning down, some harder sex, easing into the mouth fucking. Chances are the girl is either going to respond positively or egg you on for more or give you that 'deer in the headlights' look in which case she's probably not into hard sex and it's best to back things off.

I will always say that there is a huge difference between rough sex and assault. It's in the girl's compliance and desire for it, and in the man's control over everything he's doing. Good rough sex is still very controlled and calculated - it's intense - it's not violent.

Quote by miss_impossible
Its all in perception and individual desires. For many of us, or at least my friends and I when we have discussed such things, a common thread for us how desired we felt. Is that rough/intense play because our lover wants us so badly that he just devours us - and that is very, very, very hot. Such unbridled passion just for me also makes me want to submit entirely to his intense desire and see where that would takes us. The flip side - force and roughness just for him to satiate his desire to derive pleasure because I have pain and no pleasure is not for me.

Quote by sprite
Is kicking a guy in the balls considered rough sex? If so, I'm totally into it.