Advanced Wordsmith
I've been trying for many years to rekindle the sparks but keep getting nowhere. Is it time to call it quits or do I keep trying? Help,,,.,
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
Lush Cams
Online Now!
How do you when it is time to put out the fading embers of a dying relationship?
last reply
13 replies
1.4k views
0 watchers
0 likes
I don't know your personal circumstances but I left my wife for a short time about five years ago and it was the worst thing I ever did. We patched things up and are still together and happy, but it hurt her more than I'd ever considered and I still think a bit of that hurt stays with her.
I would suggest trying everything you can, particularly being as honest as possible with your partner. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by opening up about your feelings.
If that fails or your partner is not accepting of your feelings, then perhaps it is time to call it a day, but I would personally say that this should be when ALL else has failed.
I would suggest trying everything you can, particularly being as honest as possible with your partner. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by opening up about your feelings.
If that fails or your partner is not accepting of your feelings, then perhaps it is time to call it a day, but I would personally say that this should be when ALL else has failed.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by grogynz
I've been trying for many years to rekindle the sparks but keep getting nowhere. Is it time to call it quits or do I keep trying? Help,,,.,
Just my view but if there's no warmth left in the embers maybe it's time to kick over the ashes.
Your profile points to a romantic, that keeps a flame of passion burning through finding new ways to excite your partner. You might have to stop flogging that dead horse and look for a new one.
Good luck with what you decide.
IMHO A good relationship is a two way street.
True of a friendship also.
If you are doing all the work to rekindle the relationship, without response... move on.
Get over it.
We want what we cannot have too, so it can be a drain on yourself emotionally. Go cold turkey.
If in some small way it was successful reviviing things, then you will end up continuing all the work keeping it alive.
Is that what you want, to do all the work forever?
People are not perfect, it sucks some times, but don't waste your energy, you will feel better
Good luck
True of a friendship also.
If you are doing all the work to rekindle the relationship, without response... move on.
Get over it.
We want what we cannot have too, so it can be a drain on yourself emotionally. Go cold turkey.
If in some small way it was successful reviviing things, then you will end up continuing all the work keeping it alive.
Is that what you want, to do all the work forever?
People are not perfect, it sucks some times, but don't waste your energy, you will feel better
Good luck
Troublemaker
Hey Grog, difficult to answer without more details but perhaps think about what worked originally...maybe you need time away for the two of you without kids? TALK to your partner!!
Presuming you have a wife...the survey says do the housework...sounds crazy but apparently it works...looks like you are a very busy guy...maybe spend more time with your partner?
Hilarious Av!
Presuming you have a wife...the survey says do the housework...sounds crazy but apparently it works...looks like you are a very busy guy...maybe spend more time with your partner?
Hilarious Av!
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Knowing when to let go is as important as recharging a relationship.
How long you've been together plays a huge part as well. If it's a budding relationship and you realize a spark is fading, then it's pretty clear that you're just better off cutting your losses.
But if it's one of those long-term deals, then of course you should do everything within your power to get that spark back...if you want to. That can be the biggest determining factor...if you notice things fading and you really have no desire to change that, then it's time to go. It's also time to go if you're working at changing things and one party isn't on board...then that means one of you has no desire to make it work, therefore it won't work. And it's also time to go if after putting forth an effort to make things work and they don't.Sometimes people are too stubborn to admit to a failed relationship, but holding on only makes things much worse.
And if the person or the relationship means that much to you, who says things have to end on a bad note? I've had people in my life who were meant to be friends and friends only...and we had to find that out the hard way.
How long you've been together plays a huge part as well. If it's a budding relationship and you realize a spark is fading, then it's pretty clear that you're just better off cutting your losses.
But if it's one of those long-term deals, then of course you should do everything within your power to get that spark back...if you want to. That can be the biggest determining factor...if you notice things fading and you really have no desire to change that, then it's time to go. It's also time to go if you're working at changing things and one party isn't on board...then that means one of you has no desire to make it work, therefore it won't work. And it's also time to go if after putting forth an effort to make things work and they don't.Sometimes people are too stubborn to admit to a failed relationship, but holding on only makes things much worse.
And if the person or the relationship means that much to you, who says things have to end on a bad note? I've had people in my life who were meant to be friends and friends only...and we had to find that out the hard way.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by hotswimmer
IMHO A good relationship is a two way street.
True of a friendship also.
If you are doing all the work to rekindle the relationship, without response... move on.
Get over it.
We want what we cannot have too, so it can be a drain on yourself emotionally. Go cold turkey.
If in some small way it was successful reviving things, then you will end up continuing all the work keeping it alive.
Is that what you want, to do all the work forever?
People are not perfect, it sucks some times, but don't waste your energy, you will feel better
Good luck
Exactly. This was pretty much bang on how I was about to respond. There has to come a time when you cash in your chips and call it a day. It takes two people to make a relationship work, period. Unless you're a masochist, you can do better and deserve better. Good luck indeed.
well one question comes to mind are you married and have kids?
if you said no to that well it is easy
you are honest and kind and say what you feel from your heart
if you are married
have you really done everything
I mean have YOU been a lover to her
woo'd her like you did when you were dating
loved the housework comment
you wont believe how many pissed off wives there out there over chores and kids(pssst men do some chores and the vagina will reopen again!)
have you seen a sex therapist?
if that is the embers you are talking about?
do you do things together movies hobbies date nights or even a class together
if you have tried all of this and are miserable
me I am all for the getting out instead of cheating
in the end if you are that unhappy both of you deserve the chance to find someone else and be happy
so to me the first step is to communicate with her
have the uncomfortable conversation
start from there...
good luck and hugs
ending something is so hard
so end it with love and compassion
if you said no to that well it is easy
you are honest and kind and say what you feel from your heart
if you are married
have you really done everything
I mean have YOU been a lover to her
woo'd her like you did when you were dating
loved the housework comment
you wont believe how many pissed off wives there out there over chores and kids(pssst men do some chores and the vagina will reopen again!)
have you seen a sex therapist?
if that is the embers you are talking about?
do you do things together movies hobbies date nights or even a class together
if you have tried all of this and are miserable
me I am all for the getting out instead of cheating
in the end if you are that unhappy both of you deserve the chance to find someone else and be happy
so to me the first step is to communicate with her
have the uncomfortable conversation
start from there...
good luck and hugs
ending something is so hard
so end it with love and compassion
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by thesexynun
well one question comes to mind are you married and have kids?
if you said no to that well it is easy
you are honest and kind and say what you feel from your heart
if you are married
have you really done everything
I mean have YOU been a lover to her
woo'd her like you did when you were dating
loved the housework comment
you wont believe how many pissed off wives there out there over chores and kids(pssst men do some chores and the vagina will reopen again!)
have you seen a sex therapist?
if that is the embers you are talking about?
do you do things together movies hobbies date nights or even a class together
if you have tried all of this and are miserable
me I am all for the getting out instead of cheating
in the end if you are that unhappy both of you deserve the chance to find someone else and be happy
so to me the first step is to communicate with her
have the uncomfortable conversation
start from there...
good luck and hugs
ending something is so hard
so end it with love and compassion
...WOW! What a statement and full of thought provoking ideas. 
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by grogynz
I've been trying for many years to rekindle the sparks but keep getting nowhere. Is it time to call it quits or do I keep trying? Help,,,.,
When "I don't know if" turns to "I can't" then and only then is it time to leave. Be honest about your feelings without being defensive or cruel. Honest, non-attack communication is vital at all stages of repair/separation.
Simple is key, but you have to mean it. "I feel (blank)." "I can't (blank) anymore." If you say "I feel that ...", you are placing judgment, which is defense/offense, and not fair play.
Good luck and let love win, (whatever it is that love may need).
living dead girl
If your married, I'd suggest setting aside as much time as possible
For each other
a direct talk to see where she is at
Doing fun things and setting goals
together also helps
Find a connection and rediscover each other
It takes time and I don't know your situation
everyone's is different..but sometimes all it takes is
Helping each other remember why you got together in the first place
if need be take some time a way from each other ( sometimes its really enlightening )
if you don't miss her, if you realize that she added nothing to your life
that you are better off without her, that your love was only bonded through habit
and in the end you see no future..then its time.
I wish you luck, its not an easy situation..its one of the most difficult things a person can ever go through!!
edit: I just noticed that you asked in 2013..so I hope by now you have it figured out!! and hopefully everything turned out for the best
For each other
a direct talk to see where she is at
Doing fun things and setting goals
together also helps
Find a connection and rediscover each other
It takes time and I don't know your situation
everyone's is different..but sometimes all it takes is
Helping each other remember why you got together in the first place
if need be take some time a way from each other ( sometimes its really enlightening )
if you don't miss her, if you realize that she added nothing to your life
that you are better off without her, that your love was only bonded through habit
and in the end you see no future..then its time.
I wish you luck, its not an easy situation..its one of the most difficult things a person can ever go through!!
edit: I just noticed that you asked in 2013..so I hope by now you have it figured out!! and hopefully everything turned out for the best
I'd love you to check out my latest
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/monster-sex/-summer-of-the-tentacle-.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/monster-sex/-summer-of-the-tentacle-.aspx
Active Ink Slinger
I guess I am good at ending relationships, having been married and divorced three times, but its never fun. Perhaps that is one reason why I have now been single for longer than at any other period in my adult life. Be prepared for a broken heart
Lush Cams
Online Now!